To think I can go on benefits instead of returning to work?

[UniversalCreditOrNo]

NC for this.

Let me start off by saying this....up until
February last year, I have never not been in work. I got my first job at 13, was working full time and living alone at age 21 (before which I worked 25 hours a week alongside my studies) and it was only last year when I decided to go travelling that I ever found myself without employment. I got pregnant at the end of my travels, and here is where I find myself.

My daughter is now 6 months old. In 3 months time, I’m supposed to go back to work. How do people afford to do it? Childcare is £56 a day where I am. On my current minimum wage job that’s a take home of around £30 a week....before tax and NI.

My partner is on around £20k and I can rely on family for 1 day a week childcare. So here’s my AIBU. Can I go on benefits, instead of going back to work? Is that a thing people can do?!

I don’t know how it works. My area is universal credit....is there even such a category for this? It’s not jobseekers as I wouldn’t be looking for work, and it’s not like I’m signed off with illness or disability.

My partner is convinced we can because he doesn’t earn a lot and ‘this is precisely what the benefits system is for’. However....his mum is a serial benefits user....everything from being a stay at home single mum until her youngest was 15, until now where she’s signed off for an injury from 3 years ago she still claims is affecting her work ability All I can think of is the stigma behind choosing to go on benefits, but right now I can’t see another option.

What about evening and weekend work?

Can your partner do overtime?

You mention giving up a ‘life time of employment’ but I’m guessing you are quite young so not sure you can have been working that long. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ha! If you think having 1 child with a partner is hard, try being disabled in this society and fighting to be recognised as such. I can't walk more than 10 metres and need a wheelchair yet, despite all the additional barriers, manage to remain employed. In the grand scheme of things I'm fortunate. This system has actually contributed to the deaths of people who didn't get help when they needed it. I'll not apologise for prioritising those people over you. I don't need a reality check thanks very much but you absolutely did

This is so weird.

I'm not working at the moment, we made the decision that I would stay home with the kids. Partner works. We get tax credits and child benefit. Am I worthy of your venom?! Fucking hell.

I'm happy to take it. We are bloody skint. But it's a sacrifice we make so I can look after my children. When my youngest is 3, I will get a part time job, like I did with my eldest.

MN is so often absolutely batshit crazy.

Op, I'm not sure how universal credit works. But I'd definitely check online and apply. It won't be much, I expect. But I use ours to do the weekly food shop.

It's a sorry state of affairs when looking after your own children is frown upon. Unless, of course, you're rich ... us poor people should just lump it, I suppose?

I'd do something part time, to 'keep your hand in' keep your CV and skills updated and give you some independence. If you can do a day with the family care, and an evening or weekend day that your partner looks after the baby you'd also hopefully be financially benefiting too.

The people who think you should leave your child all week, for the same of less than 30quid are mental
And blaming you and people like you for the benefits system being a shambles, I mean honestly.

I don't think anyone should live on benefits long term, but really what sort of system is it where you can be similar, if not better off for not going to work. Why are we paying workers so poorly?
You just need to do what's right for you and your family.

I just don't want to leave my little girl with a total stranger all day and then be almost entirely out of pocket for the privilege. It seems so wrong

Then you shouldn't have had a child if you can't afford it.

If you have a partner in work, you wouldnt be entitled to much, although you could probably claim some childcare money from tax credits if youre in work.
If you were single mum you wouldnt be expected to look for work till your child was 5 I think, but if you are a couple, the other partner is supposed to support you or you both work. If its really low, or your child has a disability and especially if your child is under 1, then you could get child tax credit to help you by.
I dont think yoi should look at it as childcare all coming out of your wage though.

Ok
I know it is difficult I do
But
Do we really expect others to pay for others to stay at home on their taxes .. is that fair ? Really ?

Me & my DH could not afford nursery fees either.

We literally worked shifts opposite each other, like passing ships.

You need to take responsibility - it is hard work but these are your life choices.

Haven't read all of the replies.
My dh is on 26k. For other reasons other than the cost of childcare after may leave I was unable to return to work not disability or anything . And we get UC
I am expecting again.. Totally out the blue as we were told we'd never be able to naturally conceive and we did so here we are.
I'd just got a different job lined up with no needs for childcare etc. Despite it being less than we get in UC. I was looking forward to it.

Go to entitledto.co.uk.
It's quite accurate.

I do feel that personal responsibility is a thing we need to reinstate in our attitudes .

If you go back to work you may get some help with childcare costs from UC. Or as others have said do a couple of weekend/ evening shifts around your partners work ( we did this for 12 years for four kids to avoid high childcare costs ). Do you have rent to pay ?

Branleuse - It is no longer possible for anyone to make a new claim for tax credits ( well only for a very small minority of disabled people). It would need to be Universal credit.

Lots of very judgy comments here..my daughter is going to be a single mother fairly soon ...definitely wasn’t her life plan !!! A first class degree from a top uni but stuff happens!! We have urged her to claim every penny..we have absolutely no problem with that . Her parents have been taxed for the last forty years at approximately 100 thousand quid a year ...so we are happy that she gets what she is entitled to!! She will be working full time 9 months after baby is born .

And also when I had to quit work before mat ended.. Dh was doing an 8 till 6 job mon to Fri and 8 till 2 sat employed plus self employed work 8pm till midnight Thurs to Sat. That's dwindled and he's no longer self employed just the employed side of it so was ideal for the job I had lined up. Once baby here I will look at evening work. But I certainly won't burn myself out with 2 under 2 at home. Then eve work and never getting family time. My MH deserves more than that

There are some batshit posts on here.

Childcare costs in this country are very high; and it is simply a fact that work doesn’t pay for many mums. I meet plenty of them in my area. Now, that doesn’t necessarily mean you should get benefits for going home, but it’s just silly to bash an individual woman when the massive structural factors of low pay and high childcare costs are beyond her control.

I worked part time at night when my ex got home. We couldn’t afford childcare at over £50 a day. It made working pointless. When my youngest was 3, I also got a zero hours day job so I could work while he was there but be home in the holidays.
I’m well educated and can earn more with experience in other roles but I want to be there with my kids as long as I can so I’ve made the sacrifice of a salary reduction.
Maybe consider doing the same?

Most women would like to stay at home with their baby, but they have to go back to work. Relying on benefits so you can stay at home isn't what benefits were meant for.

Yes childcare is prohibitive - we all get it.

But are you really asking whether it’s ok that you stay at home with your little one whilst I go to work every day, pay for childcare and miss time with my little one - all so 40% of my salary can go towards funding your lifestyle choice?!

What is stopping you from working at the weekend or during the week to boost your income?

The above isn’t harsh or judgemental - just factual.

My brother in law and his girlfriend is in a similar position and get around £500 in universal credit so you may be entitled to something

I don't really get the outrage. I've fortunately never had to claim benefits & can "afford" to work p/t with kids. DH is a higher rate tax payer as would I be if f/t however I'm more outraged that my tax is paying housing benefits to landlords & top ups to people working for companies that pay teeny amounts of corporation tax.

God, MN can be fucking horrendous at times. Really horrendous. It actually makes me despair of humanity.

You are at the threshold where 20K is a struggle, if you love your job and it has prospects, you obviously would want to continue there; it's a shame you cant get a sister or parents to help out. It's also daunting to think you've got to go back, when you have the responsibility of a new baby. I am old fashioned enough to know those formative years are extremely import for mother and baby, and for what it's worth I hope you can arrange flexible hours or work from home, and see as much of babt as possible. Thank you for posting on MN I guess sometimes the comments seem harsh. I wish you well

Whilst I agree, for the most part, that the benefit system is a safety net not a lifestyle choice, I do think we need to focus more on why people choose to go on benefits rather than attacking them when they do so.

A young family should not have to work their arses off 35+ hours a week each just to make ends meet while the fat cats at the top sit on obscene piles of money. That's the piss take. They're the people who should be ashamed.

Instead of looking up, we're all fighting over the scraps the super wealthy drop us and turning on each other if it looks like our neighbour has a bigger piles of scraps than we do. The people at the top are looking down and laughing at us fighting over the miniscule, inadequate benefit system while ploughing their cash into tax avoidance schemes and off shore accounts.

OP, you would likely be entitled to the childcare element of UC, along with some in work credits. I would find out when the benefits advisor is at your local CAB and pop along. There is nothing morally wrong with not wanting to work 35+ hours for £30 a week. The fact that people think there is insane.

Rhubarb tea agree!!! Too judgy and self righteous 🤮