To think I can go on benefits instead of returning to work?

[UniversalCreditOrNo]

NC for this.

Let me start off by saying this....up until
February last year, I have never not been in work. I got my first job at 13, was working full time and living alone at age 21 (before which I worked 25 hours a week alongside my studies) and it was only last year when I decided to go travelling that I ever found myself without employment. I got pregnant at the end of my travels, and here is where I find myself.

My daughter is now 6 months old. In 3 months time, I’m supposed to go back to work. How do people afford to do it? Childcare is £56 a day where I am. On my current minimum wage job that’s a take home of around £30 a week....before tax and NI.

My partner is on around £20k and I can rely on family for 1 day a week childcare. So here’s my AIBU. Can I go on benefits, instead of going back to work? Is that a thing people can do?!

I don’t know how it works. My area is universal credit....is there even such a category for this? It’s not jobseekers as I wouldn’t be looking for work, and it’s not like I’m signed off with illness or disability.

My partner is convinced we can because he doesn’t earn a lot and ‘this is precisely what the benefits system is for’. However....his mum is a serial benefits user....everything from being a stay at home single mum until her youngest was 15, until now where she’s signed off for an injury from 3 years ago she still claims is affecting her work ability All I can think of is the stigma behind choosing to go on benefits, but right now I can’t see another option.

Stopping reading comments now as I'm not sure how much more I can take.

Thank you - to all the wonderful people who provided actual help and suggestions of work and alternative child care options, and stories of how they made it work. Which is what I was asking for in the original post.

To the downright rude number of you....please think for a second. Behind a keyboard is a real mum who is just trying to do right by her daughter. Anyone who thinks it's an easy decision to give up a lifetime of employment to 'sit on my arse all day' and expect tax payers to 'fund my bad decisions' clearly needs a fucking reality check.

It took a lot for me to write this post...clearly shouldn't have bothered.

Benefits are not to fund your family . They are supposed to be a safety net .
Either work round d p , get a childminder I f cheaper , or manage n dh wage ,making sacrifices .
The benefit system is not a lifestyle choice . We need to accept responsibility and I hope you find a good option , doing so , for your family .

Also thank you to those who understood the question and defended my reasons to the horrible mums here. You're heroes in my eyes!

Au revoir

Wow....friends warned me Mumsnet was harsh, but this is unreal.

Yes people say some truly horrid things. Please ignore them and try and focus on the more helpful responses. I am no benefits expert but I think you might want to explore what you'd actually be entitled to. I can see that you don't want to leave you little one and work for no extra cash. Is there a way to work at different times to your OH? Maybe bar work or weekend work? Not ideal but may be the best compromise until your little one starts nursery?

Isn't it judged on total household income now? Not on it so not sure but am recalling it being mentioned/blamed on another thread for trapping women in abusive marriages because the total for the household is paid to one member of the household, so if your husband gets all the UC and isn't good with money or good to you, you're basically fucked

Also, I'm fairly certain they take any savings you have into account as well, that's you and your partner

It is intended, without being pissy about it as a safety net for the most vulnerable, many of whom complain that flaws in its design, mistakes and delays, have pushed them further into poverty.

I think the reason people are so annoyed with your post is because if you want to be a stay at home parent you should use family funds, not rely on the state. To be honest it's a bit of a non issue because I doubt you would be entitled to much if one of you is in work. You are getting a particularly vicious kicking I'm afraid, but it's clearly touched a few sore points with some.

op I just put your approximate income into the government calculator and with your partner's income of £20k and You on £100 statutory maternity pay (are you getting anything??) You would apparently get around £160 a month...

I didn't go back to work after DD was born for similar reasons (Altho partly also due to a house move), but did go back after DS was about 6 months - so maybe 2½yrs later? - and just managed to find something part time around DP's hours... It was and still is hard to manage childcare around each others rotas but I was desperate to get back into the workforce at that point as the longer you're out obviously the harder it is to get back in. I think looking at friends/other mums I know, the only people that Did go straight back were the ones with a "proper career" (for want off a better expression!) that provided a decent enough salary to cover the childcare, and that was worth protecting by keeping up, iyswim!

Despite the sneering on this thread so far (Altho for one reason or another it's taken me an age to write this so the tone might have changed!) it's not as much of a no-no as people might think and tbh I think it's good that the government provides a bit of a financial safety margin for those families that choose this option.. so long as it's just the early-ish years! Not so cool as a life-long option IMO!

In no way do I think you are planing to ‘ sit on your arse all day ‘
It’s just that you need to , as a family , take responsibility for your family . If it helps we lived very frugally so I could stay at home and it was a good decision despite having to give up our car , eat very basically and even have foreign students stay with us from the local uni to make ends meet . It was worth it .

Shame the OP has gone, I thought my reply was reasonable and informative

I assume you are not married. I would get out there and earn your own money because you don't have to be on MN very long to realise that you have no security relying on partners money and goodwill.

I personally don’t mind my taxes going to people staying at home with young babes. I worked through mine I don’t regret it or anything it was my choice but I wouldn’t begrudge this at all tbh. They’re only little once.. cliche but so so trye

Look into whether you are eligible for tax free childcare - you can get the government to pay up to 20% of your cost and up to £2,000 per year for childcare costs
www.gov.uk/tax-free-childcare

I'm pretty sure if your total family income is 20k & you are renting you will be entitled to some benefits. If you work you should also get some benefits to help with childcare.

I think you're getting a hard time - it sounds like you'd prefer to work but are worried about how little take home pay you'd get - not surprising really.

First off - sounds like you're looking at you paying all the childcare and it's an expensive cost whether you use a nursery or a childminder. Is your dp/dh your dc's dad? In which case that should be a shared cost rather than something that just you picks up.

However, now sounds a good time to sit down and work out finances with your other half so that you end up with all costs covered, a little goinjg into joint savings if possible for a rainy day fund and then a similar amount of your pwn spending money from the left overs. when neither of you are earning much, throwing a big expense into the pot like childcare is going to make it unequal if one person ends up with it.

The money savings expert website has some good basic spreadsheets to workout expenses and how to budget and make savings, they're useful in working your way through as a couple to sort out finances more fairly.

It is hard working with young children, but building up a skills set and employment record is important in the longer view. A few years out of work makes it much harder to get back into the workplace.

You might get more in benefits initially, but the system would push you to apply for jobs and look for work.

You'll need to speak with your work and see how flexible they're prepared to be and then sit down with dp and go from there, you mentioned you could get 1 day childcare from family? So there's one day done! You could go back part time? or work your hours around your partners meaning minimal childcare. And even with your £30 per week, that's still £120ish per month!

I'm due back in April, and I'm going back three days per week and my husband has changed his shifts so he can do some days meaning we won't need to rely so heavily on a childminder.

The benefit system isn't as generous as it has been previously, so I doubt you would get any universal credit to be fair. You need to fully explore all of your options, relying on benefits should be an absolute last resort, if you want to be a sahm then your dp's wage will have to cover it! Thousands of families are in the same position as you and make it work

I think most companies offer flexible working hours, or maybe think about working from home? My SiL did telephone fundraising for a children’s charity that paid a decent basic wage and pretty good commission. I know that she had to have a landline but I believe (but not 100% on the details) they somehow managed to differentiate between her calls and the business calls. Might be worth looking into. I know that there is a benefit cap but I’m not sure how much it is or what the maximum joint household income is but as other posters have suggested look for a benefits calculator that can help you work out how much help you might get when your mat leave ends.

Was ment to go back to work when LO was 9mths but couldn't bear to leave him so took full maternity leave. I was lucky as OH took on night work, which ment very little changes to my working pattern. It also ment OH was looking after LO after doing a full night shift and when I get back From work I take over while he catches up on sleep. As a few of our days clash now we decide to send LO to nursery, YES it's bloody extortionate but Its not going to be forever, LO has become so confident since being around all the other babies.

As tempting as it may seem reality is UC is not much. There have been lots of fantastic ideas like the childminding, or evening doing drop off or pick ups to school for people.

People on here just awful
Firstly would I hell go back to work if every penny of my wage was going on childcare, we have a similar age child and I am currently.on maternity Leave due to return to work in March
Me and DH have had multiple conversations about childcare , we have no family help and childcare is our area is around 50 pounds per day, if I was earning minimum wage absoloutley not would I return to work, it's pointless you might as well stay home and enjoy your child
The only reason I'm going back Is I earn 38k a year , dh 25k a year , if one of us was a minimum.wage earner one of us would be home with our child

Wow some people on here are out of order.

Ive stayed at home and didnt return back to work as I wanted to be the one to watch my baby grow up and not someone else! So what if you use a system the government has provided to support you, its what is bloody there for. On UC you will not be asked to look for work till your child is 3 and even thats only part time and by that point there is free funding. If you did want to return to work sooner and it is childcare costs that are stopping you, UC will pay UPTO 80% of this. Go on facebook and type in 'universal credit essentials'. There you can work out EXACTLY what youd be entitled to.

There is nothing wrong with being on benefits, every little helps now days.

I’m with you in that I don’t think full time care is the best option for babies. I also think being out of the workforce for extended periods at your age (I assume you’re in your 20s?) is not a good option either. I would try to find shift work so you and your partner could minimise the time your baby is in care. Or, rather than be only a stay at home mum, you could do some sort of study/ further qualification. A juggle, sure. But it would look better on your CV than an extended gap of being unemployed.

The benefits system should be a net to catch those fallen on hard times. If it's ever a lifestyle choice, than it's at the expense of other taxpayers and abuse of the system. There lies the reason it's crap for those that really need it and aren't opting-in. Of course is going to piss people off. Understandably mums that do have to hand over their children to 'strangers' are rubbed the wrong way by this. Most mums would prefer to stay at home with their children, it's pretty insulting suggesting it's an easier choice for others because of the work they do or that your more deserving of time with your baby because you get paid less.

Yes it's shit nursery is barely covered by minimum wage, but again you chose to go travelling and have a child at a point in your life when you were earning minimum wage, others who studied/worked up the career ladder over travelling shouldn't fund what is a result of your life choices.

purplepolo The system is not meant to support families as a lifestyle choice tho .. the welfare state is a safety net .. no wonder we are in a state if we use it for purposes it is not meant for .

Go to the entitledto website - it will give you an indication of how much you could get. If you are entitled to Universal Credit, you will be expected to be actively looking for work, and will need to attend the jobcentre 1 x week