To think I can go on benefits instead of returning to work?

[UniversalCreditOrNo]

NC for this.

Let me start off by saying this....up until
February last year, I have never not been in work. I got my first job at 13, was working full time and living alone at age 21 (before which I worked 25 hours a week alongside my studies) and it was only last year when I decided to go travelling that I ever found myself without employment. I got pregnant at the end of my travels, and here is where I find myself.

My daughter is now 6 months old. In 3 months time, I’m supposed to go back to work. How do people afford to do it? Childcare is £56 a day where I am. On my current minimum wage job that’s a take home of around £30 a week....before tax and NI.

My partner is on around £20k and I can rely on family for 1 day a week childcare. So here’s my AIBU. Can I go on benefits, instead of going back to work? Is that a thing people can do?!

I don’t know how it works. My area is universal credit....is there even such a category for this? It’s not jobseekers as I wouldn’t be looking for work, and it’s not like I’m signed off with illness or disability.

My partner is convinced we can because he doesn’t earn a lot and ‘this is precisely what the benefits system is for’. However....his mum is a serial benefits user....everything from being a stay at home single mum until her youngest was 15, until now where she’s signed off for an injury from 3 years ago she still claims is affecting her work ability All I can think of is the stigma behind choosing to go on benefits, but right now I can’t see another option.

Get an evening or weekend job, do something from home, re-train or do some study - why should the rest of us have yo work our arses off to support your lifestyle choice of doing eff all? That's most definitely NOT what the benefits system is there for!!

I dont work my ass offand pay taxes to fund your choice to stay at home

You wouldn’t have to if employers paid a living wage. Think about that.

@gingerbiscuits

• 'staying at home doing eff all'....lovely to see that value is placed on a woman's role of raising children.

• I'd also like to meet the mother who manages to do 'eff all' with a 6 month old at home.

• the lady at the job centre would beg to differ - telling me this is precisely what benefits are for, and that there are heaps of other mums in precisely my position.

42MyOtherLifeIsAFairytale

You are right, you should not do what you do not want to do like footing the bill or paying taxes. Have you tried protesting, writing a letter to your MP or talking to your government about your taxes payment?
You should because I can't help you nor can the OP stop you from paying your taxes.

why should the rest of us have yo work our arses off to support your lifestyle choice of doing eff all?

Shocking attitude to what mums SAHM of children are doing - it’s far from eff all!

@gingerbiscuits actually that is exactly what the benefits system is for, because the days in which people could run a home on one income are long gone. Do you also think that SAHPs who are being financially supported by their partners are doing "fuck all" or is that solely for women who have to rely on the state?

Your anger is misplaced.

@UniversalCreditOrNo

Seems a good compromise, whilst at home (benefits or not) it's essential to plan for the return to work - I didn't, big mistake (no benefits involved I should add, h had a high enough income). Protect your ability to support yourself or you end up like me!

@8bumblebee8 unsurprisingly missing the point entirely. Not what I said at all but hey ho. At least your replies are entertainingly weird

@Greentulips; self employed, carved out my own career w bloody hard graft and doing nicely, thank you. Happy to pay taxes and support those in need of benefits. Someone w a partner on 20k choosing to stay home is not those most in need. They are making a choice, just like I made mine.

Arghhh. @greentulips. Ignore me. Had a reading/comprehension fail... yes, if wages were decent all around and if childcare was affordable, working and having a young family would be if Infinitely easier.

Ok op I’m not going to give you any abuse (despite thinking you lack of planning is your own fault) 🙄

However, I had a friend (A) who was in your exact situation when her DD was born. It is a hard situation nobody is denying that (it’s why responsible adults plan and save to afford it).

Anyway... A wasn’t entitled to benefits because of DP’s £22k wage BUT that wasn’t enough for them to survive (both had some debts and finance...etc) he also worked shifts so finding work around his was impossible. A decided (not uncommon) to file for UC alone and pretend her and DP were not in fact living together (at her parents). Which entitled her to about per £700 a month of support.

2 years later her and DP split and he reported her 🙈 needless to say she wishes she’d never done that!

I’m afraid in your current situation you’re unlikely to qualify for UC and working will probably cost you money rather than earn it.

You’re a bit stuck as a result of poor planning but please don’t fall into the trap many women in your situation do and lie! It ends very badly.

Why not look into jobs you can do from home? You could be a childminder if you get yourself registered and take the courses needed??

I think this 'lovely lady' from the JobCentre and all this guff about its being a great things for 'mums' is leading you up a garden path. I have yet to hear a single good thing about being on UC. But hey, everyone I know who has been on it has found this out the hard way.

' I have yet to hear a single good thing about being on UC. '

After a sudden change in my circumstances I found myself at the jobcentre not too long ago. They have given me a 6 months easing in period where I do not have work, or look for work because of the nature of why I ended up there. I got a £1500 advance which has been a massive help, and means I have enough in the bank to feel secure. I then get my rent paid, and £800 on top. I'm blown away, and very grateful for the support. Also, the lady I have been dealing with has been nothing but kind.

I do wish people would at least read op's updates if they don't read the whole thread. Then they'd see that yes she and her partner are entitled to UC even on £20k a year and yes op does have a part time job.
I do think there's also a lot of scaremongering about getting back into the workplace after a break. It's only really the higher paid jobs which this applies to, and the vast majority of people do not have higher paid jobs. It's a small, and short term sacrifice to spend the first few years at home with your children.

DHhasleft

That's good to hear that you have had a positive experience of UC. Hope things improve for you.

Good news op!
And to all the haters going on about their taxes, well I'm more that happy for some of my taxes to help out people like the op. She's not doing anything fraudulent or even wrong, she just wants to care for her baby. This is probably the best thing for her and her baby. Save your hate for the owners of big companies buying three super yachts for themselves while leaving full time employees to scrap by on poverty wages topped up with state benefits.

She's not doing anything fraudulent or even wrong, she just wants to care for her baby.

Maybe she should have saved her money to enable her to do that, rather than blowing it on travelling and then getting the state to pay instead.

@DisneyMadeMeDoIt thanks for not giving me any abuse....but where did I say I was going to lie to get UC?! That's absolutely awful and something I'd never even consider doing. Whilst people's opinions of me on this thread may be fairly low, at least I can say I've always been honest!

I've done a few updates...I'm entitled to UC and will be going back part time.

Might be worth reading a couple PP's extremely well worded and valid points about 'just becoming a child minder'. I personally think it's a huge offence to those who are child minders to think it's just a job a mum can do to stay at home with her kids. But the PP's wrote it a lot better than I did...have a quick read.

Well seeing as you describe childcare as leaving a child with strangers it would be the ultimate hypocrisy for you to get yourself registered as one anyway!

I completely agree that childminding is not an easy option- and nor should it be. The best childminders are totally committed to it, they build wonderful relationships with the children and provide a stimulating and nurturing environment, as well as keeping up with all the paperwork, record keeping etc

Definitely not for anyone looking to earn a quick buck while avoiding paying childcare for their own kid. And I certainly wouldn’t want the people more precious to me, my babies, being cared for by anyone with offensive views about childcare - strangers indeed!

Entitled to website. You may get money towards childcare

Good lord @Acciocats that just be the 7 or 8th time you've stated how offended you are by that one sentence.

Where I am, nurseries have a very high turn over of staff....this from a friend who used to work in one. There are (in her opinion) not enough staff to pay enough attention to each and every child's individual needs....so yes, in my own personal opinion, this would class to me as leaving my child which what initially could always be be total strangers.

Not once did I claim a child minder was a stranger. At the beginning of this thread I can admit to being slightly naive as to the over all role or cost of a child minder....my only experience of it being the weird lady who picked my friend up from school and dropped her home without so much of a smile when I was young. I've done some research since this thread began and hey ho...guess what...I will be using a child minder! A lovely lady who seems very into outdoor education with her little ones and I honestly can't wait for her to start.

I see a few of your comments have been deleted by MNHQ. I didn't get a chance to read a couple of them, but I can only guess they were calling me names or making personal attacks. I hope this explanation clears up any offence I've clearly caused you?

Good lord @UniversalCreditOrNo that’s some serious back pedalling. I’m sure anyone who uses ‘leaving child with strangers’ knows exactly what they’re doing; ie making a thinly veiled snidey dig.

Anyway it’s good that you’ve sorted a solution.

Btw by deleted comment was merely pointing out what I’ve just said - that anyone using that phrase is being bitchy. I then commented ‘nice work MNHQ!’ (in response to their deletion) and I think that got deleted too Christ knows why- there is frequently no rhyme or reason to what gets deleted and what doesn’t. Rest assured there was no personal attack on you - not my style, and it’s a very weak way of making a point anyway. I will however, call out any unpleasantness about childcare simply for the sake of it - Such as phrases like ‘leaving children with strangers’ because it’s so utterly disrespectful to WOHP and to childcarers. It’s a shame the childcare provision in your locality is crap, but that doesn’t mean everywhere is. Goodness I wouldn’t have paid my entire salary for several years on childcare if it was rubbish. I’d have stayed home instead.

Anyway, let’s see if this post stays or gets deleted ... who knows?!
But good that you’ve sorted your problem situation anyway

If you think our country is in a mess due to people seeking benefits, and not corporate greed...then I guess you're misinformed.
The Tory government want to help people like Amazon, Starbucks, Google...not pay taxes. They also want you to work until you're 75.
So kindly shut up about people in lower income situations trying to further their lives or sort their situation.
All this facile... It's a safety net.. bollox. Is nonsense.
Now the reality we live in food banks are a safety net.
You, like many others on this thread seem to deem that the less well off need to buckle up and suck it up. She's not looking for a handout, a solution.
I have a solution.
She could work online, teaching English, singing songs, and teaching the alphabet. Earning very little...but still earning and being present at home.

Your baby is still very young, if you can, stay at home and look after her; I'm happy to pay taxes for that sort of thing as someone who was lucky enough to have to work very few hours while mine were little.
Crack on, Op. Good luck to you; you can always make more money, but you never get the time back. I've had to go back full time now mine are older and have their own lives. It's Google, Amazon and Starbucks who fuck the system, not folks like you.

Fucking LOVE Mumsnet.

Another lady has just posted this exact same question.

She's being told to stay at home and claim benefits

Where are the vipers this time around?! I wonder what's different.