To be sat here thinking WTAF??

[Bingcankissmyass]

Sat watching Gogglebox SU2C celeb special with DH, both in tears at the stories they're showing. The voiceover comes on and says 1 in 2 of us will get cancer, my DH through his tears says 'I hope its you"........WTAF???? We're just your average couple, ups and downs like everyone, no bad blood yadda yadda yadda. I asked him WTAF and he said he was joking, I guess maybe he was trying to lighten the morose atmosphere, but ffs my dad died of cancer a few years back so yeah, you fucking dick, this IS NOT funny. AIBU to actually be crying about what he said or am I being overly sensitive?!

YABU. Sounds like an insensitive joke.

Yup yabu, sounds like sarcasm / insensitive joke

Sorry, i know i shouldn't but i proper laughed out loud at that. Totally something my DP1 would say.

I don't think you're being over sensitive at all though.

If he's crying at how sad the cancer stories are and then said through the tears "I hope it's you" and it wasn't some bad attempt at changing the tone, at best its poor humour and if said in a heartfelt way, seriously, seriously, odd.

If he isn’t normally an arsehole, I’d go with a bad attempt at black humour.

Perhaps he meant so you don’t have to see him die?

Stupid thing to say but ridiculous overreaction.

what was his reaction after he realised he'd upset you?

I have to admit I laughed out loud. If it was meant to be funny then it is. (Though can see why it is insensitive with your dad).

He's now ignoring me! Turned his ps4 on in a strop, grabbed his headphones and has started a game, so I'm off to bed! I guess I know I'm BU as he wouldnt normally be so callous, but it just kinda sucked the wind out of me. Maybe I will laugh about it in the morning!

I laughed too sorry.

Sorry about your dad

I found it funny because I love black humour and I’m sure he was trying to lighten the mood.

And it’s OK that you didn’t find it funny either.

Neither of you are in the wrong.

Insensitive but funny. YABabitU but understand why.

That made me laugh.
I’ve lost people to cancer too as well as having a close family member operated on today for cancer so I don’t think I’m insensitive to it either.

Sorry you are upset but YABU.

I no I shouldn't but I am laughing my head off at this. I keep giggling thinking by it.
You really have to know your audience when making a joke like that though.

Definitely something we would say to each other here too

I keeping laughing thinking about it too. It’s the sort of comedy genius thing I’d say to DH and he’d get upset

I feel bad saying this OP because it's obviously upset you, but I must admit I did actually laugh out loud at that

But that's because me and my DH have exactly that sort of dark sense of humour (and my lovely mum died of cancer).

Having said that, it doesn't take away your right to be upset.

Speak to him about it. I'm sure he didn't mean to upset you

😂😂😂
Something I would say 100%.
DH would laugh.

I’m so sorry but I keep laughing too! What on earth was he thinking!? I lost my dad to cancer but we have defo as a family resorted to black humour to cope.

To be fair, this is the kind of thing me and my DP say to each other all the time when watching SUTC etc. And I lost my dad to cancer a few years back too.

Mind you, we have a very dark sense of humour. I'm at risk of Huntington's Disease which is a scary and horrible situation if I think about it too much. My DP is incredibly supportive and understanding. However, he will often joke about the things he's going to do when I've got HD and can't fight back, or I'll joke and say you wait until I'm ill, I'm going to do XYZ deliberately and make you clear it up etc. Others might be really horrified, but we both use humour as a means of dealing with difficult situations - it doesn't mean that we're actually serious about what we say , or that we don't find the situation desperately sad.

Humour is definitely a coping mechanism, and I'd say it's a fairly healthy one. But at the same time, if it's a sensitive subject for you, that's OK too. Maybe your DH should say sorry for being a bit thoughtless if he knows you're still struggling with the loss of your dad, and you should apologise for being a bit over-sensitive.

Hugs, hope you're feeling OK now.

I laughed too.
Me and dh share the same dark humour and have our song planned for our funeral, it just happens to be the same song.
We've joked a lot,
I think you have to be able to take the humour, it helps you cope when you need to, but sometimes it can knock you sideways without the others' intention.
I'd have felt the same a few years after the death of my dad.

My mum died of cancer, my best friend has cancer, my DH has survived a v mild cancer. I still laughed at what your DH said but that might be the way you have written it so well, I think maybe you had to be there and if you feel WTF over it that is very very understandable. Take care x

Fucking horrible thing to say. Even if it was a joke he should be apologising and reinforcing how much he loves you.

Especially since he knows full well that it will be doubly hurtful because of your dad.

Not funny.

OP, I don't think it's funny, either. Not at all, honestly.

Assuming he was only joking, maybe now he'll know better and be a bit more sensitive. Dark humour can be tricky, and there are certain subjects that some of us will never find fair game for jokes.