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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sat here thinking WTAF??

153 replies

Bingcankissmyass · 29/10/2019 23:16

Sat watching Gogglebox SU2C celeb special with DH, both in tears at the stories they're showing. The voiceover comes on and says 1 in 2 of us will get cancer, my DH through his tears says 'I hope its you"........WTAF???? We're just your average couple, ups and downs like everyone, no bad blood yadda yadda yadda. I asked him WTAF and he said he was joking, I guess maybe he was trying to lighten the morose atmosphere, but ffs my dad died of cancer a few years back so yeah, you fucking dick, this IS NOT funny. AIBU to actually be crying about what he said or am I being overly sensitive?!

OP posts:
Pemba · 30/10/2019 06:14

Bollocks is it 'satire'. It's a weird, sick thing to say. Not funny, especially when you've had a parent die of cancer. Is he often this insensitive?

Margsus · 30/10/2019 06:26

I had a very early breast cancer two years ago, dealt with and thankfully I’m now fine. We were watching the programme, and when we heard the the “one in two people” fact I said to DH “you’ll be ok then, it was me!”. We both smiled and that was the end of it. I think you’ve overreacted.

poppinpink · 30/10/2019 06:42

I would never say this to anyone. It's just not something to joke about Sad

Pemba · 30/10/2019 06:44

But Marg what was said in your house was very different from in the OP's. You weren't 'wishing' the cancer onto your partner, which even as a joke, is a bit off. Especially considering the OP's family history.

weebarra · 30/10/2019 06:46

It's not very funny.
However, I'm currently in remission from breast cancer and when the 1 in 2 star came on, I said to DH, "you'll be alright then!".
It wasn't funny and it wasn't sensitive. Sometimes people just open their mouths.

Baboomtsk · 30/10/2019 06:54

A bit insensitive but a (not bad) joke.

I'm more concerned with the statistic. I feel I'd know a lot more people with or who've had cancer if that were true.

Newbie1981 · 30/10/2019 07:00

It's funny. Sorry about your Dad but lighten up. It's so sad that it used to be 1 in 4 and now it's 1 in 2, it's scary. Making jokes lightens the darkness of this crap!

eggsandwich · 30/10/2019 07:31

I can’t believe how many people think this is acceptable.

I speak as someone who’s close family members have died of the disease and quite frankly think its not a laughing matter even if it is to “lighten the mood” as some say.

I’m sure the SU2C campaign wouldn’t expect that kind of reaction I know I wouldn’t.

I hate to think what his reaction would be if someone he was close to was diagnosed, probably not quite so funny then .

NotTonightHalloween · 30/10/2019 07:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Drogosnextwife · 30/10/2019 07:33

I thought you were a bit unreasonable until you sad your dad died of cancer, now I just think your dh is a dick.

magicstar1 · 30/10/2019 07:38

DH and I said the same thing...”bagsy it’s not me” and laughed. We’ve had cancer in the family lately too, but it was just a joke to lighten the mood.

WalkofShame · 30/10/2019 07:38

I think what we can learn from this is that you never know how someone will take a joke.

So in summary, neither of you are BU (but I’m in the I think it was funny camp)

NotTonightHalloween · 30/10/2019 07:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeronLanyon · 30/10/2019 07:58

What he said was obviously not literally funny.
What made me laugh unexpectedly (and as with so much comedy) was the juxtaposition of what was said (shocking and inappropriate), his tears, op’s perilous situation, my own fear for op’s reaction, how op’s dh must have blurted it out, how op’s dh must have then swerved between laughing and apologising. There’s are so many swing points where things could have gone differently. The repeated visual and emotional swings as I read it created adrenaline which was released by loud laughter.
That’s my analysis anyway. It’s obviously not a funny thing in itself at all.
My old ma died recently and my siblings and I and dp and I (amongst all the moving things) have said wildly inappropriate things from time to time and then laughed hysterically and then had some tears and loving memories. It’s good to laugh - when one side doesn’t, it’s gone wrong, or was misjudged or inadvertent which in itself is pretty funny sometimes.

Charley50 · 30/10/2019 08:14

I found it funny but i might have felt a bit hurt too, as I'm quite over sensitive sometimes.

What is with the 1 in 2 statistic anyway? I imagine a lot of that is because of longer life expectancy, so it's partly scaremongering.

ThatMuppetShow · 30/10/2019 08:20

YABU

it was funny

Then it depends how it played out, if you started shouting that he's an insensitive dick immediately, not giving him a chance to apologise, he's better removing himself instead of going into a full argument - which he did.

If you just told him that it's a very upsetting comment and you are shocked and he shrugged it off without apologizing at all, he's unkind.

DontLettuceBrexitLettuceRomain · 30/10/2019 08:26

Sorry, i know i shouldn't but i proper laughed out loud at that.

I'm sorry but so did I! Sorry OP, understand why you might be upset but I think it was just a joke.

KatyCarrCan · 30/10/2019 08:27

A lot depends on your relationship. I'd have laughed .

NotTonightHalloween · 30/10/2019 08:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fotheringhay · 30/10/2019 08:33

We are assuming he was joking, that's quite a big assumption! Only OP knows him

Gennz18 · 30/10/2019 08:42

my DH through his tears said “I hope it’s you”

I can’t stop laughing sorry OP 😂😂😂

ThatMuppetShow · 30/10/2019 08:42

We are assuming he was joking, that's quite a big assumption!

That's even funnier Grin

fotheringhay · 30/10/2019 08:50

Why?

diddl · 30/10/2019 08:51

I can see any humour in it at all tbh.

To me it's tantamount to telling someone that they hope they get cancer.

ThatMuppetShow · 30/10/2019 08:51

because the picture of a man in tears muttering these unforgettable words actually made me laugh