To be sat here thinking WTAF??

[Bingcankissmyass]

Sat watching Gogglebox SU2C celeb special with DH, both in tears at the stories they're showing. The voiceover comes on and says 1 in 2 of us will get cancer, my DH through his tears says 'I hope its you"........WTAF???? We're just your average couple, ups and downs like everyone, no bad blood yadda yadda yadda. I asked him WTAF and he said he was joking, I guess maybe he was trying to lighten the morose atmosphere, but ffs my dad died of cancer a few years back so yeah, you fucking dick, this IS NOT funny. AIBU to actually be crying about what he said or am I being overly sensitive?!

Sorry OP. I laughed when I read that. It’s funny. It’s very dark but it’s a good way of dealing with something too terrible to contemplate. Didn’t you want to laugh at the sheer awfulness of the joke? He subverted you’re expectation of a spouse, said the unthinkable.

He didn’t mean it.

Another one who had a giggle with that. It’s the type of thing my dad would say to my mum. They’ve been very happily married for 50 years.

Tbf, honestly sounds like something me or DP would say.

He often says he hopes I go first because I'll drive our families mad if I don't.

It's comedic levity in a moment of sadness. I do understand that your dad dying makes it inappropriate but I wouldn't hold it against him.

Very insensitive, it's a horrible disease that is taking the life of my fantastic dh (38 yrs old, stage 4 bowel cancer). Really not a joking matter 😭

To be fair they are saying one in two will get it, may as well be a bit flippant about it

My DH and I have both had cancer, and my reaction was that your DH was making a quick, off the cuff remark to lighten the mood. Nothing more.

I kind of tittered too. My brother died from cancer and my father survived it. Given that he was in tears at the programme, he’s obviously not unmoved by it all. It just sounds like a bit of ill-judged black humour - not that he’s actually wishing the disease on you.

Hope you can make up.

sorry, but that is funny. And I can totally see me saying something just like that. I in 2. Once you see the funny side tell him you'll toss a coin for it; he can't get off that easily.

And cancer is a bastard, and so sorry it got your dear dad.

I find it bizarre that anyone could find his funny. It was a disgusting thing to say.

If he isn’t normally an arsehole, I’d go with a bad attempt at black humour

This

Are other posters ignoring the fact that after upsetting his partner with a nasty joke about her dying of cancer - knowing she has lost her father to cancer - he is now sulking and blaming her for her feelings and playing a fucking PS4 game.

Well look at all the shits out to play in here.

I'm sorry OP, he was being an insensitive prick and has no right to sulk. 🔔🔚

My mum had cancer, am I allowed to laugh?

My mum had cancer, am I allowed to laugh?

Both of my parents died of cancer, and I did.

I'm glad other posters have showed up.

I would have reacted exactly like the OP

Ho Ho Ho What a Lark to tell your partner you hope they get a killer disease

And what a humourless killjoy the OP is not to roll on the floor laughing at such sparkling wit

Weird thread

Sorry but I laughed (out loud) too. So I I will have to say YABU. I have a very dark sense of humour though. I think it's important to laugh at the dark shit though...makes it much less...shit.

I think lots of people are laughing or say they would because of either the way you’ve written it or can imagine them/their partners saying it, in a certain tone.

It’s the sort of thing my family would say too (& we’ve had far too many losses from cancer) but you have to get the delivery right & ckearky he didn’t.

🌷 I hope he was just trying to lighten the mood. If not that’s really horrible & im not surprised you’re upset.

If he isn’t normally an arsehole, I’d go with a bad attempt at black humour

I agree with the above. Hopefully he will have got the message from you and it won't happen again.

Both of my in laws had cancer, my father in law died of oesophageal cancer, my mother in law had bowel cancer but remained in remission until she died (she had Parkinson's, poor soul). I also have a lovely cousin who had breast cancer resulting in a mastectomy, radiotherapy and chemo. That was a good few years ago and she has been fine ever since but, as you can imagine, it was pretty dreadful for a while. Yet I still didn't think what your husband said was a big deal. Insensitive, yes, but there are people who blurt things out without thinking.

I doubt he will do it again - but it wasn't a hanging offence.

Oh dear - I said the same to DH! I qualified it saying it was because he gets cancer benefits from his work and I don't. Hope he wasn't upset though!

I couldn’t help noticing that the odds have narrowed considerably. I’m sure I remember it being one in ten. I definitely remember it being one in five- then three.

It’s still the kind of thing DH and I would say to one another though. I think your DP has gone into defensive mode because he wasn’t expecting your reaction, OP.

That was a cruel thing to say.

I think it's a cruel thing to say, especially as he's off sulking now.
To some it is funny, to others not. I'd be upset if my DH said this to me.

I laughed when I first read it but I think I misunderstood your OP - were you in tears of laughter from watching Gogglebox (in which case I can understand that he said it if you were both giggling and that's how I first read it) or in tears of sensitivity from watching cancer stories (in which case YANBU and quite a weird thing to say at that point).

@BritishHorrorStory

I understood it as the latter which is what makes it weird, as it doesn't appear to have been said in jest.

I think your delivery and scene setting is very funny.

The joke after losing your Dad - some people find comfort in gallows humour and others find it repellent. He should know you better but I'm sure it was a misjudgement on his part rather than cruelty.

No one is BU. Kiss and make up.