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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be pissed off with this gift

156 replies

FenceFuckery · 29/10/2019 16:51

DH has been away for the best part of a week. Technically a work trip, but was being hosted on a jolly.

On the way out he messaged from the airport to ask if I wanted anything from duty free. I said no thanks, then followed up with another message asking him not to buy anything as we have just bought a house and are a bit broke at the moment.

He’s just returned, and got the kids to throw a bag at me - my present of some perfume from duty free. I have one favorite perfume that I’ve worn for years, I don’t want to change this. I still have an unopened perfume that he gave me a year ago, now I have two.

He went to a really interesting country that I’ve not been to, and would have loved something from there. Not a flashy afterthought from the airport on the way back. It’s like he didn’t put any effort at all into finding something I might like, but threw money at something at the very end. I honestly would rather have had nothing.

So AIBU for really not wanting this gift? U is for ungrateful.

OP posts:
FizzyGreenWater · 29/10/2019 19:10

He KNOWS I’m really low maintenance with cosmetics and things. I have my favorite products that I use all the time, and update as I find new ones I love.

he’ll be really offended if I regift or sell - well tough, if he doesn't want to be offended, maybe he should put some thought into things?

How come it's fine for you to be not listened to, but disastrous that he should be made to feel offended?

Sell it on ebay. He'll listen next time maybe.

ddl1 · 29/10/2019 19:12

Or did you only say that at the end, after he'd been on the trip? In that case it's not as U, but still you could probably have made your wishes a bit clearer. If you did and he disregarded them, then you are not U.

Namechangeoflife · 29/10/2019 19:20

What perfume is it op? I’m looking for a new one Grin

AdaColeman · 29/10/2019 19:21

Did you give him any clues or requests for gifts from the destination? if not, then you are being rather ungrateful, at least he got you something he knew you would like/use, how many men even know the name of their wife's favourite perfume?

Samplesss · 29/10/2019 19:24

He managed to bring the kids back a bunch of interesting toys and things.

He probably thought that you wouldn't want them, going by the fact you alluded to not wanting tat. He shouldn't be arsed if you sell it though, it's a waste if you won't wear it. He was only away for a week though, I can understand getting a few bits for the children but I wouldn't expect anything tbh. Not having low expectations, but because I wouldn't get him anything if I went away, just our DS. Tell him what you're expecting next time.

Eleanorbellanor · 29/10/2019 19:26

You sound like high maintenance

Cherrysoup · 29/10/2019 19:26

I wear the same perfume, what’s wrong with that? We are indeed not all the same!

Leave it for a month then sell it on eBay. Will he even notice it’s gone? My dh bought me one which I really didn’t like, I sold it. I can’t wear one he really likes because it’s an aftershave and reminds him of his best (male) mate! Not very sexy, apparently!

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/10/2019 19:28

It's not high maintenance to be happy with either no present or one you actually like!

GPatz · 29/10/2019 19:29

'And wear the god damn perfume, wearing the same one for years is a bit hmm.
I have several, different scents for different moods'

Which one do you wear for your arsey mood?

morriseysquif · 29/10/2019 19:29

You sound miserable and ungrateful.

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/10/2019 19:32

Why should she be grateful for a thoughtless and unwanted girl, that she paid for half of?

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/10/2019 19:33

Girt

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/10/2019 19:33

FFS GIFT GIFT GIFT 🎁

Mythologies · 29/10/2019 19:33

Post this in relationships where some, but only some, posters have higher expectations and do not expect to have to be pathetically grateful for having a thoughtless, unwanted "gift" thrown at them.

Original poster
FenceFuckery · 29/10/2019 19:33

I said no thanks to duty free when he was on his way out. That’s when I said not to spend heaps too.

When I say work trip, there was no actual work done. It was a pure jolly, visiting a bunch of tourist attractions and things. No office / presentations etc.

And as Samplesss said, it was only a week. I didn’t need anything. Now we are £100 down on something that I won’t use.

OP posts:
Mythologies · 29/10/2019 19:35

Oh and definitely sell on Ebay

gamerchick · 29/10/2019 19:35

FFS GIFT GIFT GIFT

Got there in the end Grin

So what if he's offended, get the bugger sold. It goes off eventually.

Samplesss · 29/10/2019 19:36

Sell it OP!

TFSRM · 29/10/2019 19:36

YANBU, it was a thoughtless present and a waste of money.

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/10/2019 19:39

Got there in the end Grin

Only just.

Original poster
FenceFuckery · 29/10/2019 19:40

I’m glad you got there! The idea of a thoughtless and unwanted girl was sad 😢

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 29/10/2019 19:42

And the only use for 'girt' is the Australian national anthem.

Travis1 · 29/10/2019 19:43

Yanbu who wants a gift that they won’t use and they’ve paid for half of? Either regift at Christmas or sell it op.

Bodyposiftw · 29/10/2019 19:44

I was gonna say YABU but then I read that he paid with joint money?
I would be pissed off at that, even for something I like. How is this a gift at all if you are contributing towards it?

justasking111 · 29/10/2019 19:46

Be careful what you wish for, my friend asked for a special gift from Pakistan when her OH was working there. She received the ugliest rug in the whole world which lasted a few years.