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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask supporters of porn to read this

608 replies

SmileEachDay · 29/10/2019 16:25

meaww.com/missing-teen-adult-video-pornhub-modelhub-snapchat-periscope

A missing 15 year old girl was spotted in videos hosted by Pornhub. Those of you who are “ok” with porn - are you “ok” with this?

The sentence the man involved in making the videos is for another thread, but is shocking.

OP posts:
IfNot · 30/10/2019 16:59

I'm not speaking for you Jane I don't even know you. Maybe you really were a well adjusted highly paid LA porn star. Maybe you are a highly imaginative middle manager in IT. Who can say.
Anyway for the record I'm not saying all females in porn have been coerced or trafficked. Just that I have never met a "sex worker" who doesn't have some fucked up shit that led them to that point. It's nothing to do with moral outrage at all. It's that porn/escorting/ stripping etc are things that people with previously good lives don't go into. Or if they do they are damn rare. The vast, vast majority have the same sad stories (although often they have normalised so much abuse they don't even realise it's sad). Sex for money just isn't a "job like any other".

Original poster
SmileEachDay · 30/10/2019 17:02

handwringers interesting. I imagine “pearl clutching” and “prudish” are on the tip of your tongue.

It’s ok, I get it. You have to believe that people like me are anti feminist, SWERFS, anti bodily autonomy and generally uptight in order to justify your position. I get it.

I couldn’t give less of a fuck what you think of me. I give very many fucks about girls and women.

OP posts:
CAG12 · 30/10/2019 17:08

@IfNot sex workers are whole cohort of people, those that work in porn are a subsection of that.

Are the 'sex workers' youve met prostitutes? Or are you talking about women who make porn? They are two very different things

ReanimatedSGB · 30/10/2019 17:12

if you actually care about girls and women as human beings with autonomy you might like to educate yourself a bit on the damage that is being done by anti-sex-work activism (that link is not unsafe, it is a text document.)

Mercifully the bullshit age verification law has just collapsed, but you might like to consider who was going to benefit from the imposition of that law (clue: not those who may have been exploited in the production of porn.) Anti-porn scaremongering always comes from either well-meaning idiots or those whose agenda is actually a lot more harmful than it appears.

Original poster
SmileEachDay · 30/10/2019 17:16

ReanimatedSGB

The work I’ve done with prostituted women gave me an excellent grounding thanks, and I’ve researched the subject extensively.

Take pot shots at me all you like. You’re wrong.

OP posts:
MintyMabel · 30/10/2019 17:25

Happy to wear it on a t shirt.

Presumably the t-shirt hasn't been made by someone exploiting cheap labour.

What else, other than wearing a t-shirt, are you doing to stop exploitation of women?

OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg · 30/10/2019 17:26

But we still have this massive, superstition-based cultural legacy of fear and dislike of recreational sex and of female sexual autonomy when the woman's choice isn't to refuse/avoid sex or only to exchange it for a wedding ring.

While I’m sure that may be true of some people in relation to women’s sexuality, if your intention is to imply that anyone who has issues with the dark side of porn is some kind of uptight prude who dislikes anything other than married vanilla sex, you’re way off beam and guilty of a lazy, fallacious argument. I fully support women having as much adventurous, enjoyable, consensual sex as they want with whoever and however many people they want - but not at the expense of the commodification of women’s bodies in general and/or of wider harm done to women as a class.

SlightlyWizenedHead · 30/10/2019 18:03

Just because exploitation is everywhere does not make it ok.
Murder, rape, paedophilia they've been around for millennia so hey let's just let that keep happening shall we? That argument doesn't work.
In my view no one should be exploited sexually. There should be a cultural shift away from regarding it as acceptable.

BertrandRussell · 30/10/2019 18:17

“ReanimatedSGB- remind me. How are/were you connected to the porn industry?

PencilsInSpace · 30/10/2019 18:20

It just seems extraordinary to me that anyone would think “well, I know there’s a possibility that this woman being anally penetrated on the screen in front of me is not consenting, but I find it a real turn on, so I don’t care” How could you possibly think like that?

yy Bertrand.

Porn only has one function - to get you off.

Once you're aware that there's at least a chance you are wanking to a rape - how does it still work?

Original poster
SmileEachDay · 30/10/2019 18:31

how does it still work?

Because people convince themselves that the rape and exploitation isn’t this porn.

That the anal doesn’t injure in this porn.

That the title “teen succumbs to dad’s cock” is just playing, in this porn.

That this porn is ethical, consensual and that anyone who says otherwise is working against women.

I mean, fuck knows who is watching the other porn, because it’s no one on here!!

OP posts:
TomPinch · 30/10/2019 18:54

If a comparison is to be drawn with the clothing industry, isn't the question like this:

Would you by clothes from a shop that you knew performed no checks on whether their stock was made by exploited workers before offering it for sale.

That's the issue. The big free porn sites do no checks before uploading. This ought to be astonishing.

ReanimatedSGB · 30/10/2019 19:24

I agree completely that the big porn sites are a massive part of the problem, both for their lack of interest in checking that the content they host is legal in terms of performer consent/wellbeing, and their lack of interest in protecting copyright and paying creators (one of the biggest problems the ethical/fairtrade producers and performers face is having their work pirated by the big tube sites.)

One of the major problems with the big tech companies as a whole is their lack of interest in things like copyright TBH. It ties in with the 'disruption' trend, which is basically the insertion of middle-men into the client/provider relationship, which benefits neither (though that is another topic, to an extent.)

But porn-bashing, as always, benefits no one and is a distraction from economic injustice and the erosion of rights - everybody has to accept more surveillance and the concentration of power in fewer hands in order to Stop Porn...

JAPAB · 30/10/2019 19:42

This reply has been deleted

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BertrandRussell · 30/10/2019 19:44

Fuck me, some people are vile.

AllStarBySmashMouth · 30/10/2019 19:47

Oh shut up. Porn is not one singular thing. Of course I'm not okay with this. I'm okay with porn that is made with willing participants and isn't abusive to the actors.

PencilsInSpace · 30/10/2019 19:51

Well, it stopped working for me, but you do you JAPAB Hmm

BertrandRussell · 30/10/2019 19:54

People have always had “libidos and sex drives and sexualities” Unless you think they only started with PornHub. If you do, you’re wrong. I certainly had a libido, a sexy drive and a sexuality before 2007.

Lessthanzero · 30/10/2019 20:00

@SmileEachDay
What if your kids find out, they see your films, friends or friends parents find out and it gets round the school. They could end up bullied because of it.

Lessthanzero · 30/10/2019 20:03

I don't know why my phone keeps doing that. It was supposed to be @JaneSaysNo

Original poster
SmileEachDay · 30/10/2019 20:06

I'm okay with porn that is made with willing participants and isn't abusive to the actors

And how do you tell which this is?

OP posts:
SmileEachDay · 30/10/2019 20:07

This reply has been deleted

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PencilsInSpace · 30/10/2019 20:09

I suppose all the porn advocates on this thread are aware that around 80% of the entire global porn industry is owned by one company - MindGeek?

They own everything from big name hollywood studios to free youtube style sites. They host the pirating of their own content and make it extremely hard for performers to get it taken down. Thus they profit twice while driving down performers' fees. They host everything from 'amateur' to hollywood, gentle 'consensual' looking stuff to extreme racist 'teen' gang rape.

Just as they've developed a near monopoly on the global porn industry they are now going for a monopoly on age verification technology, while also developing their own VPN as a way round it.

JAPAB · 30/10/2019 20:16

What if your kids find out, they see your films, friends or friends parents find out and it gets round the school. They could end up bullied because of it.

Blimey. Don't have casual sex and ONS because if people find out they may think you are a slut.

Would you by clothes from a shop that you knew performed no checks on whether their stock was made by exploited workers before offering it for sale

Isn't that most charity shops. I agree it especially behoves the people when buying DVDs and subscriptions, to put some thought into the site before purchase. But the platforms such as Pornhub add another layer of separation as there is nothing in watching the stuff you find there that puts money in a porn-makers pocket. So in that context the question is more "would you look at an item of clothing through a shop window" rather than "would you buy".

Lessthanzero · 30/10/2019 20:18

People are so quick to protect porn. Like it's so fucking important and they need it so much in their lives, they are willing to have woman abused, coerced and injured as a by product.

Why does it have to be real, if you need to view people getting fucked so much, why can't we ban porn and only have simulated sex videos. Or change the law so it's illegal to be paid or profit from porn the making or distribution of. Then only the sex obsessed exhibitionists will be in the movies. They may not get as many hot young girls them though.