DS has ADHD. He's argumentative all the time. I'm permanently in school meetings where he's been judged by neurotypical standards and punished to the point of near expulsion. He has to be reminded every day to get dressed, brush your teeth, flush the toilet. At 11.
Do I regret having him? Probably, if I knew how little enjoyment I would have gotten from raising a child with ADHD. There are small and infrequent victories peppered in a sea of constant battles, rudeness, forgetfulness, laziness, poor hygiene, social issues. Some days, he's relentless and very unlikeable. The days where he is not like this do not balance out anywhere near equally. He can be funny, and witty, he's a great performer. This is probably 5% of the time, and truly hard to appreciate or find endearing when the other 95% of the day, he's driving you beyond your wits end. Some days, he's the absolute bain of my life, and I'm not afraid to say that. Friends and family who have witnessed some of his less than savoury behaviour over the last decade would say the same. DH tries his very best with him, but often reaches the end of the day and is equally defeated.
I often feel less of a parent, more of a sergeant major. I question if I'm not maternal, but then, I've never had a "normal" child to raise, so I wouldn't know. I look at other parents on parents evenings and wonder how unimaginably easy it must be to have their child.
I suppose I derive some happiness from seeing him happy. I take him a lot of places, we do a lot of things. Christmas, I spoil him and really do enjoy watching him open his presents, but it's often short lived as his brashness and impulsiveness will result in something being broken within 5 minutes, and that will then ruin his morning... which typically then ruins everyone else's.
I think many parents are in less than desirable circumstances. I think so many more than those who dare to admit, would make different choices if they knew then what they know now. It's just not acceptable to say in our society.