AIBU to ask for you all to be honest with me about my weight?

[Elmo230885]

I am really wanting some honesty advice and a bit of a reality check (please be honest but not cruel or rude please)

For context - I am a size 18/20 which has crept up over the years but have never been smaller than a 12/14 as an adult. I'm not sure of my actual weight, I just know I don't look great and I'm having to buy bigger and bigger clothes. I am currently on maternity leave with my 5 month old and also have a 2.5 year old. In the past I have lost bits of weight by trying to cut down on eating and have also done Slim Fast, have never tried Weight watchers, Slimming World etc. I know I eat too much (I'm a vegetarian and my downfall is cheese, mmm pizza!) and don't move enough, but its not that simple...at least I don't think it is.

The advice I want is in relation to what obstacles are actually stopping/hindering me losing weight and what are just excuses I'm using to kid myself?

Please offer me advice, then please please (please please) set me straight when I inevitably make up excuses as to why it wont work!

What do you think it stopping you?

Are you the one who takes the lead on stocking the house with food and sorting breakfasts, lunches and dinners?

Diets don't work. At all. Ever.

You need to get into the mindset of changing your eating pattern for life. The way you presumably made a decision to become vegetarian as a life decision. If dairy is your downfall can you make the decision to go vegan?

I think it is me making excuses. I was talking today to DH about my weight and he admitted he was starting to get a little worried and as we were talking I realised I had an excuse for everything e.g. doing an exercise class- I can't as I'm breastfeeding and currently am the only one that can settle my little one, eat better - I can't as I'm too busy looking after the kids etc

I was you a year ago. I've now lost 5 stone and feel like a different person. All those aches and pains have gone, and so has the self-loathing that would keep me awake at night, and stop me looking in the mirror.

If you want to lose the weight, you will. Make the decision to do it and stick to it. Remove the option of failing and you won't.

Have you had times in your life when you have eaten healthily and been a healthy weight? If so remember how you ate then and do that again.

Are there any mum and baby exercise classes near you? I found they helped me ease back into it

Being too busy is a really bad excuse. You dont need time in order to eat less.
My tip. Just dont ever snack. Eat a proper breakfast like porridge with fruit a dollop of Greek yogurt and some peanut butter. Something for lunch that has at least 2x veggies in some form and then same for dinner. Then just have the rule that you dont eat anything in between any of those meals. Works a charm for me and takes the decision out of my hands when people offer me things or I get peckish - I just think well no I'll just have to wait until lunch/dinner

Cut yourself some slack, you've just had a baby.

Not sure if we all see the same ads but your post is sandwiched between an ad for Macdonald’s and pictures of deep fried fish and chips !
No advice op , I’m the world’s worst at sabotaging my own good intentions. Tonight I have made myself a home made peanut butter chocolate and banana milkshake to go with a bowlful of macaroni cheese. I’m 2 stone overweight and truly want to loose it so can’t fathom why I just did that.
But if you want a bit of inspiration, my sister has lost a whopping 12 stone with SW. she looks amazing.

It will be habits you’ve got into that you just don’t believe you can change or don’t want to change. And I don’t think things like WW or Slimming world are sustainable long term.
For ages I didn’t believe I could reduce my alcohol intake, but after a serious health scare I did!
And the way I manage my weight is by doing intermittent fasting, which has become a way of life for me now and I don’t even think about it. Took me a couple of years to even try it because I didn’t believe I would be able to do it.

@FatAndFurious7 would you even eat a piece of fruit between meals or literally nothing? Do you just accept hunger (if you feel it) and make yourself wait till meal time?

You might be addicted to carbs and sugar. It’s hard to just switch to healthy eating if you are, but that’s the only way.
Aim to eat your 5 portions of fruit and veg a day, cut out processed food and you should see a difference.

I do tend to be the one that does the food shopping. I have phases when I'll try and plan, get fresh stuff and cook well but it never lasts. We end up scrambling for food, and put something easy in the oven which inevitably isn't good food. I think both me and DH need to change our habits together but he isn't over weight and can get away with eating more due to a more active job. I end up eating the same as him.

Youve already said in your original post that you like bad foods too much and dont move enough.

THOSE are the issues.

Im not sure what else youre looking for?

@Whatjusthappenedthere - thats the sort of thing I do!

I don't know if you'll have one where you live, but when I was on maternity leave with DC2, I went to a buggy fit class, taking place in our local park - rain or shine! You get to take baby along, exercise at your own pace and get fit in the fresh air. It did wonders for me and you don't need childcare. Lots of other mums were breastfeeding so it was a common sight to see a mum stopping mid exercise to feed her child.

As a mum to two small DC who works 4 days a week, it's a struggle to fit exercise in. So I adapt, try to do a home based work out when youngest is napping and oldest watching the iPad. Running at the weekend. Walking loads. There's so much you can do that doesn't have to involve a gym or physical equipment.

As for healthy eating, no advice sorry, I can give advice on fitness but I am very guilty of shoving in all the crap when I'm tired (which is all the time...)

Good luck OP, by admitting you want to change you're taking the first important step...

Leggings are only for the gym. After I had my daughter I made myself wear fitted clothes so I knew if they were getting tighter. It's too easy to stretch leggings over a (in my case) flabby tummy.
And let's be honest nobody looks nice in leggings ever.

You don’t have to do an exercise class to exercise with a small baby. You can spend an hour a day jigging round the living room with your baby to music or if the weather isn’t horrendous put the baby in a sling or the pram and go for a decent walk. If you make an effort to do one of those things at least 4 times a week you’ll start shifting weight in no time. Rather than dieting meal planning is good for making more conscious decisions about what you’re eating and stocking up on healthier snacks.

@mulky I think I've become so used to it now that I dont really crave snacks. If I'm absolutely starving then I won't deny myself something like fruit but it has to be a very healthy option as a snack. My DP does the same and so we dont buy or keep anything snacky in the house. Obviously if it's an occasion or we've gone out we have whatever we like and dont worry about it. I think that's really important too and not seeing having 'unhealthy' foods as a cheat day, I think that's a bad outlook really as it's just having a treat, not a cheat. So long as it isn't regular (more than once a week on average) then that's totally fine

i think the majority are right, its a mindset. I'll get nowhere until I get my head in the right place.

There's a great lady on YouTube called Lucy Windham Read. She does 7 minute daily workouts. Some are walking and other focus on target areas of your body. It's just finding the motivation to get going. Maybe try eating well in the week and eating what you like at the weekend? It means your not constantly craving treats because you're not completely denying yourself them. Little and often. Maybe think about smaller plates? Portion size can sometimes be the issue rather than what you are eating. You can do it!

Give up sugar and the weight literally drops off! Agree with no snacking. Eat more fruit and veg. Lots more. You soon get used to it and start eating more healthy foods naturally.

I do agree with being kind you yourself too though. You've had two babies in 2.5 years and it takes it toll.

OP, I asked about the food organising because meal planning is really important and a good money saver. If you consciously decide what meals you're making all week then write them up in a chalkboard or something at the beginning of the week then it's like you've written a contract to yourself and when 'chicken stir fry' is starting at you from the planner and you're eyeing up that pizza, you'll be much less likely to give in - you'll also have all the ingredients in the fridge already

Hello, you could be me three years ago. I used to think that it was just inevitable that I would get fatter and fatter since although I ate a healthy vegetarian diet I just seemed to get bigger and bigger. Although looking back I had no idea of what a healthy diet was and ate far too much delicious pizza and other snacks. At size 22 and 15 stone I decided I had to change my life.

It is possible. You have to believe it’s possible. You could be like me now. I’m size 10 and 10 stone and amazingly fit. I amaze myself. It is possible, you just have to believe it. Get on r/loseit or r/progresspics and see all the people who have done or are doing it. You can! I went from a sedentary completely unsporty unfit person to the fittest person I know outside the gym. If I can, anyone (able bodied) can. What’s holding you back is you don’t think it’s possible.