I have a house guest who has been in bed since Saturday and her husband doesn’t seem bothered. WWYD?

[hangingabout]

DH’s cousin and his new wife arrived on Saturday from the US. They’re only here until tomorrow. On Saturday afternoon, I had made lunch for about 20 people because other relatives came over to see them, but the wife went to bed after about one hour. All she ate was a tiny piece of roti and she was very quiet. Fair enough, I thought, she’s probably jet-lagged. Anyway, she has not been seen since! I’m not sure what to do now.
Yesterday morning, I made brunch but she didn’t surface. DH said to just leave a tray outside her door and knock. She didn’t answer, but the tray had disappeared later on. Then DH and his cousin were cycling all afternoon, but no sign of her. I asked the cousin if his wife was ok when they got back and he said she was “just lying down” and didn’t need any dinner. Then DH took him to the pub.
Today I was meant to be taking her out but still no sign. DH has gone to work and the cousin has gone to meet some business contacts. I have 3 teen / tweens here. AIBU to just go out and leave her a note?

Omg what the hell is going on. How bloody rude. She cba even making an effort in your bloody house. Never have her stop again.

I would of turned off the WiFi and electric to the guest room what a rude women.

Sounds like she is having a massive sulk. My back would be wrecked lying in bed for days like this.

There has to be something going on with her that your DH'S cousin isn't telling you. This isn't normal behaviour.

Why would you not just ask outright?
'You've been up here for two days, it's not normal behaviour, I'm extremely concerned for you. '
Or ask her dh

'This is not normal behaviour, I've stayed in the whole time and feel quite disrespected in my own house. Would you please explain to me what is happening and I'm not taking no for an answer'

Shameless placemarking to see if she emerged for dinner..

OMG just read the whole thread. Sorry OP but she is rude and has taken advantage of you kind nature. You are obviously more tolerant than me. I would have had to say something to her and her DH about not expecting to be waited upon and about making some effort to be polite and try and engage with her new extended family who are her hosts. Sounds like she thinks she's married beneath her....maybe you are better off not getting to know her. However knock off the waitress service with immediate effect. Did she dare to join you for dinner?

Why is everyone tiptoeing around this woman? If she's ill then no one seems to be finding out what's wrong and if she needs anything especially her DH and your DH who seems to be leaving you to it. If she isn't ill then she's incredibly rude! Find out which one it is!

Resting my arse

I'm just here to see if she came down for dinner.

Rude. Depressed. Pregnant. Overwhelmed. Ill. Self Obsessed.

Whole host of reasons she may be behaving like this. But it is not a whole lot of fun for you! Especially since you seem more concerned about her than her own new husband or yours!

I hope dinner goes well.

(Disclaimer I haven't RTFT)
But I was going to say could she be pregnant and feeling really ill?

I was like this when staying overseas with DHs family when I was very newly pregnant. I really didn't want them to know and I could barely move with the nausea.
It was hideous. We had to say something in the end because I just seemed so rude.

Your dh and his cousin are treating you terribly. You set a very low bar ito husbands.
If he makes you happy though.
There's no way I'd be commanded or told what to do, and my dh would be hosting if it was his family.
You can do better than this, your dh cousins wife is a red herring.
You are being taken for a prize mug, are you going to continue taking this shit?

Also waiting to see if she came down for dinner!

Bonkers!

I've also read the whole thread and won't be able to go to go to bed until we find out how she was at dinner

Also need to know if she came down for dinner

Been following this all day and dying to know what this woman's problem is. All very odd. Please update ASAP

My stepbrothers wife is like this. She stayed at our family home for a weekend. She did come to meals but looked pained throughout as if it was the last place she wanted to be. She didn't speak to anyone, even at points where she was asked direct questions she ignored people. She is painfully shy but it comes across as rude. She can't really look people in the eye. I understand shyness but I think if you agree to come to someone's house then you need to make basic efforts and being polite is a minimum. She was really messy and we were all helping with getting my grandma's 80th birthday celebrations sorted which was a lot of work and she didn't lift a finger. She even left dirty plates and cups and her own dirty tupperware boxes from her train journey for my parents to clean up my dad hasn't invited her back again and I don't think she would want to come back. I think everyone found the experience unpleasant.

I understand if your guest is ill/unhappy/shy or all of the above but like I said, I think if you agree to come to someone's house being polite is the bare minimum. She could have said to you that she wasn't feeling well and saved you hassle and worry. You have to think about the effect your behaviour has on other people.

Following because I need to know as well!

this is way better than Eastenders

I hope she finally emerged for dinner tonight. What strange behaviour, not just from her but everyone else for brushing it aside as perfectly normal

sorry, pmk I'm so prurient sometimes

she's a princess! go find that pea in the mattress!

Placemarking for the dinner update.... i wont be able to sleep otherwise lol