Husband STILL isn't up.

[ifhink]

H still isn't up. I work FT whilst he's a SAHP. DC were up at 8am (we had a rough night) and I got up. Been up twice to get him to come and yet nothing. I do all the night feeds with DC2. Earlier on in the week he said he wasn't sure if he wants to be with me anymore. He's going on holiday alone next week so I had to take a weeks holiday to watch the kids (we were not welcome to join him). AIBU to be mega pissed off?

do you have a joint account?

id be freezing it about now,cause on holiday he will rinse that

so hes using the hard earned family money for timeout

selfish shit. leave him

End the relationship but slowly and carefully so you don’t get screwed.

If this man chooses he could easily present the situation so that he gets the kids AND you pay him for the privilege! Which would be fair in many circumstances but not this one I think. He’s done such a number on you that you believe him, and that he has power over you, the children and your future forever. He doesn’t at all! But only if you stop believing him and start thinking for yourself.... and leave strategically.

Next step is to get yourself informed. Information is indeed power. Don’t do anything rash, slowly slowly does it, but quickly quickly goes your brain!

BillieEilish, his mother may be paying for it, but the OP is expected to pay the MIL back once she's been paid.

It's his Christmas present. I really wish people would read threads, why bother posting again and again when issues have been covered.

Did it 4 times yesterday on various threads. I give up.

Yes, she lives in her FIL's house
Yes, the nappy is CLEAN, she never said otherwise
YES, the MIL is paying for the trip
NO SHE CANNOT CHANGE THE LOCKS
DH 'going away with someone else'? I highly doubt it. Nowhere has OP explained the circumstances of this UK based trip, which MUST have been discussed.

And so on...

Until people accept and comprehend these facts, any advice given is moot and irrelevant.

Legally I'm scared because he's very likely to get the kids. Which he'll want so he doesn't have to work. What have I done with my life

@BillieEilish I begged him not to go and he's been 'joking' about 'pulling' someone else.

Legally I'm scared because he's very likely to get the kids. Which he'll want so he doesn't have to work. What have I done with my life

So you need to think strategically and not with your emotions, and carefully get you all into a good position for you to leave.

Just don't know what that is @BrendasUmbrella

Do not stoop to begging this horrible person not to leave you. You're better than that.

I don't want to lose my kids @AloeVeraLynn

How would you lose them? You're likely to share residency of them like many separated parents. There's no good reason for him to take them away from you. Why would a court allow it?

@ifhink Honestly, just wait until he’s gone and then speak to women’s aid. They’ll be able to advise you, and they’ll have seen his type 100’s of times before. Alternatively present with your children as homeless at your local council offices. Explain that your relationship has broken down, that you live with his family, and they will rehouse you. It might not be great, but it will be something. (I think someone said upthread that you’re in Scotland, I have experience of emergency housing here, and it’s really not too bad.) Make an appointment and speak to a solicitor. None of these things will lead to you losing your children.

Husband called it quits tonight.

I’m so sorry @ifhink. You really need to plan what you are going to do now- home, work, childcare if you want them to stay with you etc. A lot to think about in a short space of time.

I’m sorry for your you must be feeling, OP, but I honestly do think you’ll look back on this and see it as the best thing he’s ever done for you.

Lease read @ColdTattyWaitingForSummer advice above and think about taking it.

Good luck

Sometimes the hardest things to take end up being the best things for us. I think you know in your heart that you were not happy.

Please, get to a solicitor as soon as possible.

You need to get find a solicitor and get legal advice ASAP. Given your position (min wage job, rented house etc) it may just be better for you to quit as well and just live on benefits whilst this is going through so he can't claim to be the sahp (who doesn't actually do any parenting).

Leaving a child in just a nappy in late October is abusive, they will not be warm enough. I feel sad hearing about it.

Do you have any family you can stay with? I think if it was me I'd be moving out with my kids whilst he's away, seeking legal advice and handing my notice in on the place you rent.

This will all be a shock, but you need to be strong now and fight for your kids. Book a solicitors appointment tomorrow.

Good! He sounds dreadful.

I think you’ll find he’ll quickly lose interest in being the resident parent when he has to do all the night time and early morning get ups, meal times, cleaning, washing etc!