To think one can go for a pee when their newborn is asleep?

[ChilledBee]

So the other day I emailed the lullaby trust to ask:

sorry but got to say it, ffs. it this really a thing ??

sorry what is your aibu? You have asked and they have clearly answered you, they've said go pee

It’s entirely up to individual mothers whether they take research to extremes or not. I don’t, personally, and tend to take most advice as it is meant: as a guideline only.

Sorry I should have probably given more backstory. There was a thread the other day related to leaving babies alone to sleep. A sizeable amount of posters said they don't/wouldn't leave a newborn alone in a room while they pee. They'd wait for them to wake up. Several people including me thought that was between OTT and ridiculous.

I think the Aibu night be a bit general taat rather than a dig at lullaby trust

Common sense is a thing. Use it.

I must be a terrible person as I not only left her to pee but would leave her napping in Moses basket in living room to go make a cup of tea

Of course you can go to the loo. I remember posting about the fact of fallen asleep on the loo for an hour when my ds was a baby a few years ago. I had a poster tell me that I was hugely irresponsible, I’d put my babies life at risk and that it’s really not hard to be in the same room as your baby at all times for a few short years .

Of course you cannot go for a pee. Ever. You have to be either superglued to the baby or never take you eye off them.
Laying the baby down to nap. Nope you carry the baby constantly in a sling.

I’m impressed the response was so serious. I couldn’t have done it. It would be on the funny things you remember on the next works night out piss up 🤣

Also SIDS is awful but the risk of SIDS for a safe-sleeping, full term baby is very very low. Sometimes posters on here act like it's playing Russian Roulette to have a baby napping in another room for 15 mins, when the reality is that SIDs, while terrifying, is not that common at all.

Of course it's ok. During daytime naps I was caring for older kids in another room completell.

I used to refuse to leave my newborn baby to find food, so I just ate chocolate in our bedroom. I honestly think I was struggling a bit, mentally, at that point. Anywho, I gained a tonne of weight and got sick with truly crippling mastitis. There, wasn't that a lovely story?

Yanbu that people should be able to go for a wee if they need it when their baby is asleep or awake, as the Lullaby Trust seems to confirm.

I wonder what is happening to common sense.
Seems to be dying out.

PS: I wouldn't leave her because I thought she might need me. I actually didn't think about SIDs risk.

Many of us understand Beatrice.

Hmm. I’m not sure about “it’s the same rules as you would use when they are awake and need supervising” in their report. I wouldn’t leave a freely crawling baby unsupervised for five minutes to go to the loo or make a cup of tea, though I certainly would leave a sleeping baby.

A sizeable amount of posters said they don't/wouldn't leave a newborn alone in a room while they pee. They'd wait for them to wake up. Several people including me thought that was between OTT and ridiculous

Ok well you go for your pee when you need to and leave them to not pee

I must be a terrible mum. I would pee, hell I even used to shower too! I was known to take the bins in/out and even hang washing on the line.

Some people really do needs a dose of reality and yes guideline should specify short proofs like nipping to the loo or putting on a slice of toast or load of washing is perfectly safe.

It is very OTT to not leave for a pee, in fact i would be concerned for the mother that they were struggling with anxiety. I used to go and have a shower when ds napped, door open so i could hear him if he woke.

Wow, so they never go to sleep while baby is asleep? Or is it ok as long as you are in the same room? Weird.

It is really important that new mothers have someone or something to help them put risk into perspective. On average, around 680,000 babies are born in the UK each year (that’s the 2017 figure anyway). 230 of them died of SIDS. The majority were boys with low birth weights and exposure to smoke in the home.

The risk is very, very low.

I didn’t read the other thread, but I was shocked to realise, via mumsnet, that the advice literally means baby not sleeping in another room at all for 6 months. People were talking about the challenges of putting their 5mo old down in the lounge then having a shit evening of sign languageing to their partner, then how to move baby upstairs with them. I really did not take the advice in this way and am fully comfortable with the risk of my babies being in another room without me with a monitor on, when they are not brand new. I know you are talking about newborns. And of course I peed!

It is OTT but SIDS plus general new baby anxiety can really do a number on your ability to think straight.

Fortunately my PFB would only sleep on me, meaning I got to experience the occasional joys of peeing with a sleeping baby in a sling. Fun fun times that was.

I can see why some people wouldn’t want to leave their baby to go to the toilet if they are constantly hearing that you should be in the same room as the baby at all times. I had really bad postnatal anxiety with my first and I was constantly terrified he would die. I never left him. That wasn’t normal or healthy I know that but I just couldn’t leave him even for a minute. Luckily he was a catnapper so the longest I’d have to wait would be 30 mins or so.

With my second he was napping upstairs from 8 weeks which obviously wasn’t ideal but he wasn’t able to sleep through the noise of a toddler so had little choice as he was becoming hysterically overtired.

cookiemonster5
I did the same with both of mine.
In fact both of mine were out in the garden in the pram for hours.