AIBU to be sick of these comments?

[SundayGirlB]

My baby is 5 months old and ginger. I LOVE his hair. It wasn't a surprise, both DH and I were ginger as kids and my side of the family are Irish and ginger.

It's the first thing people mention, which is fine. I think he is gorgeous. But I get so many comments like 'oh no, it's not ginger it's more blonde' or 'it will go blonde/brown' or 'are you worried he will be bullied?', 'ah, i don't mind it on babies but not adults' etc etc.

I am fine for him to be a little flamed haired beauty forever but seriously, he is only 5 months and already getting negative comments. People need to get over this ginger thing.

AIBU to dye my blonde hair ginger in solidarity and tell people to sod off?

catlady3 Funnily enough, I had this exact conversation two minutes ago with an English work colleague. I grew up in Spain, one of my classmates at school had bright orange hair. I don't remember her being insulted because of it or anything in any way. I was just reading the thread, and asked my colleague whether this was an English thing? She just said that as far as she can remember growing up gingers were always teased. Hmmm

My dd, who's 7.7yrs old has waist length red hair. She insists it's ginger though! It's not obvious where the colour comes from, but it's from her fathers side. All we get are positive comments and dd calls the colour posh. We get her to embrace the colour and she loves being one of the few with this colour hair. The only pain is getting the knots out of the length

I would honestly punch them in the face! So offensive and plain rude.

I like how they put it in Game of Thrones, "kissed by fire".

I hadn't heard that. How beautiful!

My DS (now adult) has red hair - it is lovely. he was never bullied about it and when he was a baby I generally got complimentary comments. The main annoying one I got was 'who's the father?' as neither XH or I have red hair (MIL does though)

Ignore all the rude people - red hair is beautiful, DS's turned to a dark coppery colour as he got older and he now has a flaming red beard to go with it. The kids he now teaches think it's very cool

Ginger is beautiful. I love ginger hair.

But even if it wasn't people can be such utter dicks, saying things like this. Where does it come from?! I would call it something close to racism. Fear of something that isn't common?! Try and ignore them, they're just unthinking knee-jerk comments.

I would honestly punch them in the face!

What a stupid thing to say. Is that the best you can do to deal with rudeness?

Where would the Pre-Raphaelites have been without red/ginger/whatever you want to call it, hair?!

See, Lady of Shalott as classic example of powerful beautiful depiction of red hair.

Only on MN could I ever imagine contemplating this response "would you ever F off with your comments about my babies hair", together with a real wasp sucking face on me.

Who are these people!
This type of rudeness needs to be called out defiantly.

How dare they!

I am a very mild mannered person. But do NOT make a personal comment about any of MY children.

If you don't have anything nice to say to someone.

Shut the fxxx up, is my mantra.

OP, best advice is let rip the next time👍💐

Absolutely LOVE ginger hair (and no, I'm not saying that just to be nice :) ). My own hair are brown, but I used to colour them fiery ginger for a long time, it's beautiful.

Tell those people to fuck off, seriously. They are being rude and ridiculous.

YANBU, I can understand concern over bullying as that was certainly a thing growing up in the 80s and 90s at least, but the answer isn't to hope it will darken! We live in Italy and it's the opposite, DS's strawberry-blond hair is much admired, with friends expressing the hope that it will turn properly red. People are shocked if you mention that redheads are sometimes bullied in England, it's just not a thing here. Historically I think red hair was associated with being Jewish - Judas is depicted with red hair in lots of Italian art - as is Jesus to a lesser extent - but now it's just seen as attractive and unusual in most regions.

I've read that the situation in England is similar to that in Australia and Canada, but not the US (where it's seen more positively). I imagine that historically it stems from anti-Catholic/Irish/Scottish prejudice?

Just back from a baby class and coffee date where....lo and behold his hair was commented on. This time by an Aussie who loved it which is a nice. But alas, it was still a topic of conversation.

I am not a confrontational person but I think I will come down hard on these negative comments. I'll go for deadpan and maybe a bit cutting. I need to show my son as he grows up it's not acceptable but also not get to worked up about it in front of him.

People are indeed, thoughtless twats.

My DD has ginger hair which actually was a surprise as her Dad and I have very dark brown hair and her siblings do too. It must be a recessive gene. It isn’t bright ginger, it’s brown-red (auburn I guess) and absolutely gorgeous.

When she was born my FIL at the time asked if I was sure H was the father , I was mortified. I also encountered the comments like ‘at least it isn’t proper ginger’ and so forth. I love her hair colour, it’s absolutely beautiful.

People really do need to get over the ginger thing, I think it should be celebrated.

My DD is fire red same as DP. When people made comments like "ohhh shes going to be a ginger" I would just reply Yes I love it. Soon stopped any negative comments. Which always seem to come from adults not one child has said anything yet to my DD.

But I get more and more positive comments about DDs hair and eyes now so dont worry about it OP. It's frustrating though I get it.

Whattodoabout, I understand that you think ginger hair should be celebrated but why exactly? As some sort of 'antidote' to the nasty comments? Even if people aren't being nasty about it, if you hold something up and herald it as marvellous, you're inviting being cut down to size yourself. You only have to see that on MN, somebody wanting to have a little boast about something - they are leapt on. Why put your child in the frame for that? I get it though, providing a 'cushion' is kind of nice but, it's counterproductive when some see that cushion as a punchbag...

Each to their own, of course, but it would make more sense to me to respond the way that billy1966 says, stop it at source, don't brook any arguments or justifications about it, just tell them to STFU.

Can't argue with that really. It's almost a perfect phrase.

YANBU.

When I met my husband he had this lovely ginger beard and has bright blue eyes. I’ve hoped one of our kids would have his hair colour, no such luck. I love red hair and think it’s absolutely gorgeous. Ignore the negativity.

I must admit I'm not a big fan of red hair. Auburn or strawberry blonde, fine, don't notice it really but bright orange or red? No. My friends 2 boys have bright red hair and very very pale skin and to be honest I just don't think they look well. Of course I would never say anything bit personally no, I just don't like the colour.

Take the comments without blinking. And then compliment them on their nose job.

"I bet you're so pleased with the results as your nose has always been so big/crooked/ugly."

@TheVandalsTookTheHandles that's not really the point though is it? I may not like something about the way someone looks but I keep it to myself.

There are lots in my family who are ginger and they are all proud of their colour. Tell people to sod off ❤️

If it is any consolation, I was quite disappointed when none of my children inherited my husband’s red hair. We did think our son might have it, but no. They all have brown hair like me.

@TheVandalsTookTheHandles - wow, really? I mean, it's very magnanimous that you wouldn't actually say anything out loud, but you still felt the need to point out your personal distaste for red hair on a thread started by a mum who was tired of getting negative comments on their child's hair.

But it's obviously very important for you to tell everyone that you're not a fan of the redhead skin colour - message received. Any other genetic or developmental preferences you want to talk about? How do you feel about people with curly hair? Freckles? Dark eyes?

I'm sure you're aware of the general scientific consensus that red hair and the associated lighter skin pigmentation helps prevent rickets in colder climates with less natural sunlight by encouraging vitamin D production and improving heat retention over darker skin.

But in your eyes we just look unhealthy. Why not? How do you feel about people born with darker skin that gives them additional protection against the sun in hot climates - does their skin colour look healthy to you? I mean, there's evidence that lung-capacity is an environmental adaptation amongst people living in Tibet and Nepal which can make them look barrel chested, but if you feel they look top-heavy I'm sure they'd be very grateful for your feedback.

Seriously, wtf? I don't get the reasoning behind joining a thread where people are saying "I don't like hearing negative comments about my child's red hair" and saying "my friend's children have red hair and they don't look good?" Did you think we needed a real-life demonstration of the negativity?

@Bouledeneige
she and her friend call themselves ginger ninjas and woe betide anyone who tries to make a thing about it! She likes standing out from the crowd. And she does because she also has blue eyes which is very unusual. She is a viking.
I love this - your daughter is awesome and you're an amazing mother to have given her the self-confidence to take something that could have been damaging and see it as a strength.
My DD used to get the "gingers have no souls" comments all the time. One of her favourite responses was to say "I know, that's why I have to suck them from other people - I couldn't get anything from you."

I wonder if the stereotype about red-haired people being fiery came about partly because of us getting fed up with dealing with the crappy comments about it :)

One of my children has ginger hair and I have had the same comments. If comments in the same vein had been made about the colour of a child's skin I expect it would cause a spike in the hate crime statistics.

However, I also had some very complimentary remarks about her hair.

The only comment i would have would be a positive one!! I love fed hair and dye mine! Had a baby girl on Monday born with loads of hair that has a reddish tinge and I'm so keen for it to be red!! Both our mother's have red hair (also irish) so we've been hoping for it through my pregnancy!
Definitely tell people where to go if they're negative.