AIBU to be sick of these comments?

[SundayGirlB]

My baby is 5 months old and ginger. I LOVE his hair. It wasn't a surprise, both DH and I were ginger as kids and my side of the family are Irish and ginger.

It's the first thing people mention, which is fine. I think he is gorgeous. But I get so many comments like 'oh no, it's not ginger it's more blonde' or 'it will go blonde/brown' or 'are you worried he will be bullied?', 'ah, i don't mind it on babies but not adults' etc etc.

I am fine for him to be a little flamed haired beauty forever but seriously, he is only 5 months and already getting negative comments. People need to get over this ginger thing.

AIBU to dye my blonde hair ginger in solidarity and tell people to sod off?

My DD has ginger curly hair and when she got picked on a junior school her response was "I can change my hair if I want you're stuck with your face". She is now 26 and hasn't changed a single thing about her gorgeous hair

I don't mean to hijack your thread OP but has anyone else wondered why dark hair is preferred, in so much as it doesn't get ridiculed like red or blonde hair?

I'm part Scandinavian, part Scottish/Irish and have blonde hair, blue/grey eyes and very light skin and can't tell you how many blonde jokes I've been the butt off over the years. Happily, I'm going grey now. I've heard similar from blonde men who wish they were dark - especially with online dating as most women seem to prefer dark hair according to a lot of men I've spoken to.

@GoodJobSteve

I hope he smelled better

He did! He was so lovely. He had matching eyes too!

can't tell you how many blonde jokes I've been the butt off over the years. Apart from those (I assume you mean the blonde = stupid type jokes?), it's my experience that blond hair is prized over dark, for women anyway. I know many women who dye their hair to be lighter.

I've heard similar from blonde men who wish they were dark - especially with online dating as most women seem to prefer dark hair I LOVE blond men! Always have, since my first innocent crushes at primary school I've always imagined that it's partly because they catch my eye more, being less common than dark-haired men?

Yup its rude and offensive. But be prepared - it carries on. And people don't realise that making an issue of a physical difference is not okay. They actually think its funny. Dickheads. And they do bully redheads - thats true. At my daughter's secondary school they said 'gingers have no souls.'

I used to refer to my daughter as strawberry blond - because she was when she was little. But now she is a very strong ginger - and she's claimed it as her own - she and her friend call themselves ginger ninjas and woe betide anyone who tries to make a thing about it! They get ripped apart. When she was little she just wanted to be blond but now she loves it. She likes standing out from the crowd. And she does because she also has blue eyes which is very unusual. She is a viking.

This is #2 son. He's always had that hair color, and he loves it. The "ginger bullying" isn't really a thing in the US, though; we've only ever had positive comments on his hair.

Christ I thought we were past all that bullying kids because they have ginger hair or wear glasses crap. The next time someone is rude enough to say that they don't like like ginger hair on adults. look them square in the eyes and say "Oh and why might that be, I'm just wondering because I don't think my baby's hair colour will change and neither would I want it to" then watch them squirm as they try to find an answer that won't be (obviously) offensive.

When I first moved to England, I had a ginger colleague and possibly the biggest culture shock was that I didn't realise we were supposed to bully him!!! Don't get the obsession, personally, I don't think it's a "thing" elsewhere.

I like how they put it in Game of Thrones, "kissed by fire".

Tell them to bugger off if they are arseholes about your child’s beautiful hair, don’t put up with their ignorance. “ Did you mean to be so rude?” is a polite way of putting it as pp have said.
My friend ‘s son and daughter have lovely copper coloured hair and it looks stunning. My grandmother had dark red hair , Titian red she used to call it and it was lovely.

I have never understood this. Am I wrong in thinking that it only happens in England? I come from a EU country and was shocked when I learned that some people are bullied for having red hair; I was in my early 30s and had just had my first baby; someone in my baby group had a baby girl with red hair and there were so many comments about it...

I love ginger hair, my first boyfriend was ginger and few after that!
Nothing wrong with a ginger!

I have never heard any ginger comments or bullying in real life I didn’t even know it was a ‘thing’ until Mumsnet.

I love ginger hair and I was desperate for my kids to be ginger. People are just rude. I would be telling them that perhaps people should be parenting their children better to accept and embrace difference rather than bullying someone for their hair colour.

Oh ds got this all the time it’s not really ginger it’s strawberry blonde or the patronizing comments

No it isn’t strawberry blonde but is an unusual colour (see few with his colour hair and goes very light in he son but it’s not blonde it’s like honey) but it’s most definitely ginger

As he had got older it’s not as bright and he has never been bullied some of family call him he he ginger ninja which is fine with him

Just ask 'What is wrong with ginger hair?' and wait for them to explain. Keep waiting and looking at them until they stutter and go red and say nothing else.

SIL / BIL are a bit like this. Nephew had red hair - it's red, not blonde. Which is fine. But they insist it's blonde

If it’s any consolidation, I spend hundreds of pounds a year to make my blonde hair ginger- I have always loved ginger hair and was really rooting for ginger babies myself, but alas it wasn’t to be. I think ginger hair is stunning and so precious and you should defo tell any detractors to fuck swiftly off.

Just laugh and say “oh don’t be silly, I’m sure that type of bigotry died out years ago.”

My gs has gorgeous red hair.His ma has red hair and all her side of the family.My dp side of the family have red hair also.

Seriously just tell them to fuck off.If they can be rude to you,you be rude back.

The thing about all the ginger threads on MN is that no-one will admit to disliking ginger hair, in fact they tend to bring out some really OTT responses about how much some people adore it

I agree I can see through the patronizing comments thankfully now ds is older he doesn’t get them

I agree with this rarely if people are making comments on an ideal look of someone they find attractive do they mention ginger hair yet it’s so often mentioned as a something they are not attracted too. Ginger children used in adverts tend to not be pretty children but a particular look - often portrayed as mischievous for some reason. But we thankfully are not just attracted to a looks but I know ds has already heard gingers are not so good looking and other negative comments but so far they have not bothered him (I think this is more to do with he isn’t seen as a real ginger freckles/blue eyes he is already aware of this because his friend has this colouring - how sad is that they are not even teenagers yet)

If I am honest I used to wish he had a different colour hair as the comments were just either upsetting (poor boy will get bullied) or annoying with the over the top positive comments which are just patronizing just say he/she is cute that’s enough

How depressing and irritating for you to have to endure! Such a rare and beautiful trait, not to mention hidden benefits like higher pain tolerance!

I'm part Scandinavian, part Scottish/Irish and have blonde hair, blue/grey eyes and very light skin and can't tell you how many blonde jokes I've been the butt off over the years.

My sister is ginger and she was bullied horribly in school, partly for her hair colour. I'm blonde, so instead my hair was fussed over by all and sundry and it really bothered me. I was a little tomboy and even as a small child it made me feel uncomfortable to be treated like an object - like, is that all I'm worth, my hair, something I'm not remotely interested in? I've also been treated like a bimbo throughout my life because of it and noticed the difference in treatment when I've dyed it darker (although unfortunately it doesn't suit me that way). Anyway, just saying sorry you're getting these comments, I wish people wouldn't focus on hair in general as a way to make assessments of a child's worth, positive or negative.

Does red hair darken? I don't actually know as I don't have it. One of my kids seems to be going slightly sandy/mousy

I don’t understand it either.. Ginger hair is amazing. I have red head envy. I’ve dyed mine ginger for ages now because I just love the colour. Definitely dye your hair because it’s awesome.

YANBU. I wonder where the dislike of ginger hair derived from? Maybe it is because it is connected with Irish and Scots and over the centuries, when we were fighting each other, it was just something that set them apart which was picked on in a negative way? Mine presumably derives from my paternal irish and scottish ancestry as a great grandmother had red hair.

I was born with a shock of ginger hair which my mom loved. Sady I didn't. I soon became aware that it wasn't a desired hair colour. I don't think I would say I was bullied but I remember being ridiculed by other young children singing 'Ginger nut, fell in the cut and frightened all the fishes' to, or rather, at me. Any slight difference with a friend resulted in insults about it. In my teens I had boys asking me if I had a ginger minge. Adults automatically assumed I had a temper because I had red hair.

I started dying my hair at 15 because I hated it. I dyed it brown then black before wrecking it for years by bleaching it blonde. One of the reasons why I decided not to have children was because I didn't want them to have red hair and suffer ridicule for it.

By my late 20s I was heartily sick of bleaching it so I dyed it and then let my natural colour grow out only to find my hair had mellowed to a lovely shade. Over the years it has changed and has natural golden highlights in the auburn colour. I now get complimented on it frequently, especially when I am in an everyday place like a supermarket or bus stop.

However, it wasn't until I developed a couple of bald patches due to a health condition that truly made me appreciate it. Yes, that would affect anyone, whatever their hair colour, but I remember one day standing at the bathroom mirror wondering whether I would develop more bare patches. I finally realised my hair truly is my crowning glory and is actually a stunningly beautiful colour which, if it grew back, I would always appreciate. It did and I do. I absolutely love the colour now.

People always pick on something that makes you stand out from the rest. It is a shame though to have to suffer ridicule for it from an early age. It definitely impacts on self-esteem.