DH and Dinner - AIBU

[Redlioness123]

I'm just really interested to know whether I am BU or not, as my husband thinks I'm being controlling

I have made a lasagne today. It's not something we have often so I spent a bit of time on it making it from scratch etc. I also cut a nice salad to go along with it and I was planning to make some seasoned wedges before serving around 7.15pm (the time we eat most days).

DH arrived home from work around 6.30. Claimed he was starving, I told him what was for dinner and to have a banana or something (Lasagne is already made and is staying warm at the bottom of the oven)

I went out the kitchen to do something and returned after 5 mins to see that he has helped himself to a ginormous serving of the lasagne and begins complimenting me about delicious it is. I got visibly annoyed and asked why he couldn't have something else or at the very least, a tiny portion rather than a dinner-sized portion. His response was that he is only going to have a small spoon of it when we sit down for dinner and have a plate made up mainly of salad and wedges instead

I've left him to it but it's pissed me off so much - he does this all the time and I think it's so disrespectful to someone who's been slaving away in a kitchen to just dip into a hot dinner they've made like it's a snack. Is it weird that I would want to eat it and enjoy it together?? Maybe I'm just being silly - it would be great to get opinions!

Also I'm not sure if it's relevant but I work full time too and usually try to get home much earlier than DH to make a start on his snack dinner

Jesus Christ - I have no words for some of the posters over these 21 pages!

By page 3 I wanted to reach in and throttle some of the posters who had clearly not read that the OP wasn't sat there with a fucking timer waiting until the dot of 7.15 to allow the manchild to eat - SHE WAS MAKING WEDGES AND PUTTING BABY TO BED!

And don't get me started on the posters who ignored what she was asking and just started quizzing her on all manner of other things.

I honestly believe some posters just come on and say any old nonsense just to wind people up.

And yes, you have succeeded - I am wound up and really want lasagne for tea AND YES I WANT WEDGES AS WELL! - bring on the fucking carbs!

And now this thread seems to have turned into a power struggle between Dappled and Seeweed

Can’t believe this is still going on.

@DoctorAllcome “ What you describe sounds like that Downton Abbey tv show where children eat in a nursery with nanny and everyone dresses up for dinner and then waits for the gong like good little Pavlovian.”

😂😂 sounds exactly like that.

Maybe people need to accept NOT EVERYBODY IS THE SAME.

And now this thread seems to have turned into a power struggle between Dappled and Seeweed

Nah, I'm bored now. And out! Not had my opinion changed....

This thread is bonkers, I tells ye. BONKERS.

Interesting. This wouldn't bother me at all.....

But woodchuck by eating early OP’s DH was hungry by 10pm so ate a fish finger sandwich.

I'm not really talking about OP's situation as they clearly have a agreed to eat at a certain time etc. It's more the general principle of whether people should have to wait to eat because their DP says so that I don't think is reasonable.

Thought fat shaming was a no no on Mumsnet, or is it ok because he’s a man?

I've bought the ingredients for lasagne today at Waitrose because of this thread. Nothing like a homemade lasagne 😋

Didn't buy potatoes though...

@PulpPixie Wtf is this fat shaming bollocks? The man is 20 stone of course he's fucking fat and he knows it.

Eat with the DC, leave a plate in the microwave, say dinners in the microwave, carry on as usual...
See how long it takes for him to make grumpy remark

Your response, "oh the irony"

Or, just take the lasagne away, say "we are a family, I'm not your Staff, we eat together."

Or, just take the lasagne away, say "we are a family, I'm not your Staff, we eat together."

If someone did that to me we would never eat together again.

Eat with the DC, leave a plate in the microwave, say dinners in the microwave, carry on as usual...
See how long it takes for him to make grumpy remarkEat with the DC, leave a plate in the microwave, say dinners in the microwave, carry on as usual...
See how long it takes for him to make grumpy remark

Considering plenty of families do that anyway, what makes you think he would make a "grumpy remark"?!

Or, just take the lasagne away, say "we are a family, I'm not your Staff, we eat together."

Good grief. You do realise that this is her DH and not her child?! Do you dictate like that to your DH?

And “house rules” and “household expectations” cover many autocratic sins, in my experience.

MIne too. And saying someone is “disrespectful” or “selfish” for not obeying these rules to the letter is really about respecting the authority the autocrat has seized over your autonomy.

HWBU to eat the food you’d made for a meal together.

YWBU to tell him to have a banana. Better just to tell him what time dinner would be ready and let him decide for himself what to eat (other than the lasagne).

Or, just take the lasagne away, say "we are a family, I'm not your Staff, we eat together."

please someone move this thread on the feminist board.

decades of women right and notion of equality are being erased with each of these posts.

I would just find it bizarre that if I was cooking a roast and the meat was either resting or (if beef) still in the oven, and I was then getting all the veg prepped and cooked and at the same time wrangling a small child's bedtime, my DH came home, stated he was starving and then promptly took the joint out of the oven or warming drawer and cut a big chunk off it and started eating it. Instead of asking what he could do to help. And OP has said that her DH does the same for roast as he did with the lasagne.

Surely other people would find that weird and rude.

God yanbu at all. I've not ready every post but, I hope, the gist.

The fact you have a baby is what makes it especially bad. Eating together at that point in their life is a sign of your togetherness and that you are still a couple. you can chat over the meal.

With him digging into the food while you are upstairs really turns you into a skivvy imo.

I'd sort of understand if you had older childten or teens who you would be sitting down with at 7.15 even if he had eaten, say if you were waiting for their club to finish at 7 or something, but in your situation it's just not on.

I would just find it bizarre that if I was cooking a roast and the meat was either resting or (if beef) still in the oven, and I was then getting all the veg prepped and cooked

A lasagne is a meal in itself though so not the same as eating meat without the veg. Since when do you need wedges to go with it?

Since when do you need wedges to go with it?

To feed the ravenously hungry husband, whose normal form is to top dinner off with fish finger sarnies.

But the OP says he does the same with roasts so I am assuming that would be how the scenario goes. Also the OP was doing the wedges for him, so the least he could have done was wait for them.

But the OP says he does the same with roasts so I am assuming that would be how the scenario goes.

Well, if he eats the meat before the veg is cooked then it is weird but maybe it is the same as this scenario and the veg is cooked and waiting in the oven.

I think this is why obesity is so high in this country. Why the hell can't people wait 30-45 mins to eat no matter how hungry they are if they have already eaten that same day? If you were waiting for your food to be cooked and served in a restaurant you wouldn't be gnawing at the menu or kitchen door?!

And who would think you would need a fish finger sandwich after having lasagne, salad and wedges, but the OP’s DH thinks he does.

I'd have been annoyed - especially because I noticed in one of your other posts that he kept changing the time he wanted to eat. Seems like you can't win!