To feel like the only person in the world to end a marriage after less than a year?

[costtete]

I got married this year but it was a big mistake. I've been having a tough time recently and he's been completely unsupportive and just not the person I thought he was, he's only happy if I am putting him at the centre of everything and not focussing on other things in my life, he sulks otherwise and it's just become a horrible environment. He now wants to split up too. I feel so embarrassed and upset at this mistake and like the only person who has split up a few months after the wedding. Anyone been through the same?

Mine ended after five months. I was so embarrassed, we didn't even tell any family for a month or two.

I think my first marriage lasted 5 weeks. We were together for 5 years before that, and I wanted to marry him, thought I was happy. I had an epiphany in the airport on the way to our honeymoon that he was actually an abusive cock. By the time we got back, I was done. No fucks given.

SIL split up straight after the honeymoon. Twice.
Now on husband 4 and still under 40.

Do what is right for you OP. We all make mistakes, we don't have to stick with them.

If it makes you feel any better Britney was married for whole 56... Hours.

You do what's best for you. Screw anyone else

My sister shouldn't have got married - it took about 5 years after the wedding for them to split up - 5 years too long IMHO - he was an abusive prick. Don't be embarrassed OP, I'm sure it's happened to lots of people.

DH cousin - IL claimed they foresaw it at the wedding becuase of how her family were treating his.

years later he's happily married to someone else with two children.

Also happend to one of the teachers at DC school - known becuase of name changes - I don't think anyone felt or thought anything but sad for her.

My Muslim friend left her husband after one year of marriage. She faced all kinds of issues , disapproving relatives etc, but she stuck to her guns and is now happily married to someone else, despite being told by her ex husband that no other man would marry her

but sad for her - I think I've phrased it poorly - sad it happened to her but not thought of as any reflection on her or anything she should be embrassed about - just a bad thing she went through.

Honestly, this is one of those situations where ‘the people who matter don’t mind and the people who mind don’t matter’ kicks in. Staying married because you’ll be embarrassed about a divorce is daft (and I say that as someone who did it ). Most people think ‘oh no, how sad’ and move on. Your closest friends and family will be concerned for you. That’s it. And you’ll feel so much better once it’s out there and done.

People do hide their true selves, this may be conscious or unconscious behaviour it may be a bit of both but it does happen, people who are domineering and controlling believe that once they've got you where they want you they will be able to make you comply

My friends split up on their honeymoon.
It was totally for the best and they're both now married happily to other people.

The people who matter in your life would rather you were happy more than anything else, I'm sure.

Just over a year for me (11 days)
He cheated on me. Yes I was humiliated my marriage had ended after such a little time but 10 years later everything has worked out for thr best.

I wonder why it is that so many couples split in the first year of marriage - I've never been married & it's one of the things that puts me off marrying DP (been together 13 years)

Do things change that much from living together to marriage, taking each other for granted for example? Genuinely interested as we know we'll have to marry at some point but why do things suddenly change?

I divorced my first husband in my twenties - it took me 4 years and I really should have done it much sooner . Embarrassment passes when you give yourself the opportunity to try again

Far better to face up to it not working and get out quickly than try to hold it together, knowing it's not right.

It might feel embarrassing to you but really, why? No one else lives your life but you - only you know what you're dealing with, so they can all mind their own business. And any adverse reactions will be over and done very quickly.

Just not worth staying in a bad marriage.

@BlastEndedSkrewt

More likely that getting married is to patch up the relationship - that was what happened in my sister's case. Also, I know of a couple who were together 20 years and then split up within a year of the wedding. Another sticking plaster wedding.

Thanks everyone, much more common than you realise I guess but still feels huge right now, the stress is making me feel ill so I am hoping it will feel like a relief when it's finally over

i ended my marriage after a weeks honeymoon. i was sort of addled thinking that he would stop being a lying cheating violent jerk if we married. on the wedding day i got blotto on spirits but i must admit it was a great party with my family him well hmm. anyway i had won a weeks holiday to America and i ended up having a week of him being the usual jerk going to an internet cafe to communicate with his Russian mistress i only found out then that she had been around all our relationship and lots more. when we flew back i went to dads got myself a place to live and served divorce papers. i paid a very high price though but yes a week of marriage

Went to a wedding of a guy who divorced first wife after 5 months and second wife before they had the wedding - between civil ceremony and wedding party - ALL before the age of 25. You are Good!

Life is way too short to be unhappy.

Nah, bollocks to that. If you're unhappy then you're unhappy. Try not to give a shit what anyone else might think x

I actually think it's braver to admit you may have made a mistake than to carry on for everyone else...

First marriage lasted just over a year (we had 3 kids already and had been together 9 yrs, 1 of the kids wasn’t his) it was painful and messy and embarrassing but I have realised that people who don’t understand and make it difficult for you (DSIS) are just arseholes quite frankly.

You're really not! I know a few, and I bet there are many, many more who wish they had ended it before a year and not wasted any more precious time in a dead end relationship. Be proud of your intention to take control, be grateful to live in a society where are able to do so, and crack on with your life! It's part of your story, nothing to be ashamed of.

Just leave, don't waste your life because of embarrassment! If you think about what you would advise a friend in your position you know the answer. Who cares what the gossips will say.