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Original poster

To feel like the only person in the world to end a marriage after less than a year?

134 replies

costtete · 22/10/2019 10:55

I got married this year but it was a big mistake. I've been having a tough time recently and he's been completely unsupportive and just not the person I thought he was, he's only happy if I am putting him at the centre of everything and not focussing on other things in my life, he sulks otherwise and it's just become a horrible environment. He now wants to split up too. I feel so embarrassed and upset at this mistake and like the only person who has split up a few months after the wedding. Anyone been through the same?

OP posts:
adaline · 22/10/2019 11:38

My cousin ended her marriage six weeks after the wedding, and it was the best decision she could have made, for both of them.

It's fine, honestly. It's much better to realise it now.

Good luck Flowers

Aquamarine1029 · 22/10/2019 11:39

Get out as soon as possible, op. You are still so young and have a happy life to look forward to. Anyone who would judge you can go ahead and marry your husband if they feel so sorry for him.

Househunt1 · 22/10/2019 11:40

Cheryl Cole had short marriages in the public eye.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 22/10/2019 11:41

Well it’s a bit rubbish and I’d be embarrassed being completely honestly. I do know a couple that split quickly but she was cheating on him

However it is, what it is 🤷🏻‍♀️ You can’t stay in a relationship you don’t want to be in, life’s too short for that

formerbabe · 22/10/2019 11:41

I know two couples who split after less than a year....both are now happily married to other people.

I know another couple who nearly split but didn't...now have a child and are stuck.

Isit7yet · 22/10/2019 11:44

My sister split with her husband less than a year after getting married. I'm actually incredibly proud of her. It takes a strong person to do that. She's now happier than I have ever seen her. Anybody that thinks anything less of you isn't worth giving a moment's thought. I work in a medical background and see families have life altering events - nothing should make you stay in an unhappy relationship. Your happiness should be your priority

SorrowfulMystery · 22/10/2019 11:44

I know one friend of a friend who called off their wedding a week before, having felt much as you do -- the excitement of planning covered up the fact that they were fundamentally unsuited. (It was before mobiles and social media, so my friend, who was the bridesmaid, had to phone the entire huge guest list...)

And another who split up within months of the wedding. I agree with pp -- much better to ride out the minor embarrassment now than the waste years of your life being unhappy. If that is, you genuinely think the relationship has no future, rather than this just being a slight slump after the wedding.

areyoubeingserviced · 22/10/2019 11:44

My cousin got married to her husband in January and they split up in June.
She was a bit embarrassed, but she definitely made the right decision.

EmeraldShamrock · 22/10/2019 11:45

Don't feel embarrassed at all.
Feel empowered you recognise it is not working, it doesn't sound very nice I've had experience with his type before.
I can't stand adult's sulking.

WeeMadArthur · 22/10/2019 11:45

Happened to me, he was having an affair with a colleague within months (and had probably been having an emotional affair with her before we were married, fuck knows why he bothered to get married).

No point flogging a dead horse OP, he isn’t the one for you, there are much nicer people out there.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 22/10/2019 11:46

I know someone who left their DH on the honeymoon, so that marriage didn't even last two weeks.

Doingitaloneandproud · 22/10/2019 11:48

Me and my ex split after 6 months married, he was sleeping with a colleague then walked out to be with her. It was embarrassing but now I look back and it's the best thing that could have happened so I'm not embarrassed anymore. If it's not working there's no point in being miserable, life really is too short.
I hope you're okaySmile

georgie262 · 22/10/2019 11:49

I know of 2 people, one a close friend, who've decided to end their marriages after 2 months. It happens move on. At least you've not wasted years and years on each other.

SenselessUbiquity · 22/10/2019 11:50

I know a couple who split very soon and it sounds as if your husband is like this man - he had expectations of his wife that she would obey him in everything and concentrate only on him once they were married. It was only going to surface once they were married as he "accepted" her independence and her self determination when she was his girlfriend. Better to end it now than drag it out. He'll learn something, maybe (not that this is your problem but it might help some other woman down the line)

nespressowoo · 22/10/2019 11:50

Well done for recognising it, OP. Much easier to part ways now without children involved. Your family will support you. Who cares what other people think - your happiness comes first! Good luck Thanks

AutumnRose1 · 22/10/2019 11:51

"he only wants me when I'm doing everything his way and giving him my full attention"

Yes. Friend of mine divorced within a year for similar reasons. They lived together a few years but once the marriage was done, it was like he saw it as a green light to show his real life and relied on her to be too embarrassed or inert to leave.

Who cares what anyone thinks.

AllStarBySmashMouth · 22/10/2019 11:51

You're definitely not alone OP. And there's no shame in it. You have to do what's best for you. There's no sense in staying in an unhappy marriage, regardless of its length.

AryaStarkWolf · 22/10/2019 11:52

I know a couple who split very soon and it sounds as if your husband is like this man - he had expectations of his wife that she would obey him in everything and concentrate only on him once they were married. It was only going to surface once they were married as he "accepted" her independence and her self determination when she was his girlfriend.

It makes me shudder to think men/attitudes like this still exist

Poolbridge · 22/10/2019 11:52

My STBXH’s friend separated with his wife after 6 weeks of marriage.
In my case, I temporarily moved out after 7 months’ of marriage - then returned to promises of change and endured the best part of 8 years of truly miserable marriage - and are now finally leaving. My instinct to leave in the first year of marriage was clearly correct, and I feel I have lost the best part of 8-9 years in a very unrewarding and at times abusive relationship.
If deep down you know it’s wrong and won’t work, get out. Life’s too short I think.

Cherrysoup · 22/10/2019 11:53

Don't waste your life and why worry about what others think?

Iamthewombat · 22/10/2019 11:53

A selfish man who expects to be the centre of attention all the time, you say? Well I never! You are making the right decision OP, but realise that there are many others fitting that template!

paap1975 · 22/10/2019 11:53

I know a woman who left her husband as soon as she came back from her honeymoon...for someone she had met on her wedding day (friend of groom's). They are very happy, 25 years on

jillandhersprite · 22/10/2019 11:54

I actually think its worse for the people that know it isn't right but hang in there 'to save face' and the number that seem to think that a baby will solve the problems - when all it does is start another rollercoaster that makes it even harder to leave.
Good luck - you'll be so much happier

Breathlessness · 22/10/2019 11:55

I didn’t end things quickly. I let it drag on and on. It was miserable. I look back now and could cry for the wasted years.

If it’s not right, end it. Dragging it out because of the embarrassment of ‘failing’ is a waste of your time. Spend time figuring out how to be happy on your own, how you went down the wrong path and how to avoid it in the future.

Chocolateandamaretto · 22/10/2019 11:55

Isn’t the first year of marriage peak time for a divorce? Like the most divorces happen in the first year or after about 20 years.

You’re in good company, and it’s better to go quickly than hang about being miserable!

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