Sheer top, no bra.

[PrincessPain]

How much would you judge seeing a little more than a hint of a female nipple while out and about? Say shopping in tesco, in the queue at the post office, someone dropping their children off at school?

If going out in a see-through top with no bra is 'for you' and not for anyone else, what you're essentially saying 'I get a little thrill out of showing my tits in public'. It isn't 'a fashion thing' it's an exhibitionism thing. You seem to be greatly in denial about that.

I see it a lot on Instagram, music videos, facebook, catwalks, - ah I see, those bastions of real life. No fakery or made up stuff there at all.

@Spinzy
While not related to the post, I definitely agree with the comfort thing, I do occasionally go out without a bra, (thinking about it, not sure if a sheer top is for me because last time I was wearing a white tee shirt, braless, popped to the shop, the car was parked at the back of the car park and then all of a sudden it was torrential rain and I covered my chest area while returning the trolley as I didn't want anyone to see my nipples).
Maybe it's me wanting to be part of something that I am not a part of, I.e. getting to dress up for nights out, holidays with friends, music videos, even a nice meal out, whatever the case may be, just things I've never experienced and probably never will.
I didn't enjoy my youth (I know I'm only 27 but I've always had responsibilities or confidence issues).
When I do wear a bra it's always a padded sports bra with no underwire, comfort is a big factor for me.

that’s a clubbing outfit and a particularly racy one. It’s not something to wear on the school run unless you want social services to be called?

I wouldn't want any attention, not positive or negative.
If people were either laughing or wolf whistling I would feel deeply uncomfortable

And you think you won't get any attention walking round with your tits out?

I think the free the nipple campaign is more aimed at the media. On social media, in newspapers and magazines, nipples are usually photo shopped out of photos as they're somehow seen as offensive. The things you see on these platforms are necessarily intended to be replicated in real life. What I think pp are and about is that you're coming across like you don't realise this!

*aren't

I see it a lot on Instagram, music videos, facebook, catwalks, and there is a "free the nipple" movement in an attempt to make it more acceptable.

There will always be a huge divide between what's acceptable online and at celeb events and what you can wear in real life. I have a whole fantasy wardrobe of stuff that looks amazing on Insta, in FB ads, at events... but would look awful outside of that situation. And if you look at Rihanna, she wears this type of thing out at shows and events, but massive hoodies when she's actually going about her life!

"Free the nipple" and other such campaigns tend to be very focused at allowing female nipples in advertising, not in real life. And a lot of the people involved in them are doing it for column inches, the less you wear, the more likely you'll get some coverage. It's a world away from everyday clothes.

By all means look at outfits you like and plan what your red carpet look would be, if it makes you happy, but for everyday life you're going to want to stick to more conventional looks - if you want to push the boat our a bit, look at different colours, textures, etc. The reception you'd get in real life would be massively different to online, rightly or wrongly.

Congrats on the new found confidence, though

Theres obviously wider issues here than the top. Flashing your nipples won't suddenly make up for what you feel you've missed and it won't miraculously give you confidence. In fact it's likely to get you attention from the kinds of people that will damage your self esteem. You have to work on the inside and how you feel.

OP do you have friends you can organise a night out with? I don't go clubbing any more but can still enjoy a night out or a fun night at someone's house.

On the school run or in the supermarket? I’d think you were a bit of a tit.

I haven't got any friends.
I've been very isolated and more and more anxious about things for a while regarding doing things socially.
I also won't leave my 2 (very young, hence no school run) boys with anyone other than occasionally DH.

Why will you never have those things, OP? Your last post sounds so sad and I can’t see that going out in this kind of outfit would help at all.

It would have been be an outstanding outfit in many ways to wear this morning. Brrr.

After three kids I'd be bothered about trapping a nipple in the freezer section

I don't think I'd judge women for a hint if nipple.

Swealtering summer heat, a loose blouse / skirt, no bra and some nipple peaking through the fabric? Perfectly fine imo.

This top however is not 'some nipple' peaking through. It leaves nothing to the imagination. (And I personally don't like the look tbh)

So yes, I'd judge.And tbh, I do think I would feel a bit sorry for the child. Especially if they're at an age where other boys (or girls, I guess) might make comments about the attractiveness of their mother's exposed breasts... So: huge nono for the school run imo.

Maybe it's me wanting to be part of something that I am not a part of, I.e. getting to dress up for nights out, holidays with friends, music videos, even a nice meal out, whatever the case may be, just things I've never experienced and probably never will.

I've never been in a music video but I have experienced the other things.

May I ask why you can't get dressed up and go out every once in a while?

I'm not trying to condemn you for wanting to look beautiful or attractive. It's imo absolutely normal and dressing up is imo actually a Form of self care (or respecting yourself, as my mother would say).

what a funny contradiction @PrincessPain that on the one hand you have no friends, feel anxious and are socially isolated.....yet on the other you asked about showing off your body in a way that is socially unacceptable and screams 'Look at me!' why would you consider making a spectacle of yourself when you are socially awkward and shy?

This sort of top is very much a celeb 'look at me aren't I cool and edgy' type of look

Doesn't translate into daily wear

At the school gates you'd get a reputation as the slutty /inappropriate mum, kids would be labelled/ridiculed etc by both other kids and teachers, and of course the parents who don't want their children to think it's acceptable to be wearing and showing off body parts that lots of people do sexualise

Tesco - you'll have all sorts going on there - kids pointing you out, letchy men copping an eyeful wherever they can

Honestly, I think this is a wind up - nobody is really that stupid that they'd find this ok in normal day to day activities

Clubbing - hhmmm... mixing alcohol etc with hot sweaty bodies, dancing, stupid behaviours - it's a fast track to unwanted attention or worse

Nipples in Tesco.

Whatever next?

Nutscapes in Aldi?

Arseholes in Waitrose?

OP, in the softest possible way, confidence doesn't come from stuff like this. What you do matters far more than what you wear. Value your achievements, not your looks.

Really pleased you're happy with your boobs, but I don't want to see them.

@PrincessPain

How about a hobby where you would get to dress in pretty and or skimpy clothing? Take a dance class once a week and have your DH look after your sons? Or how about pole dancing?

May I ask why a babysitter isn't an option?

You deserve companionship and happiness. And you deserve to feel beautiful.

I can never work out why people think it is no big deal to show nipples or genitals in public. We are not in a part of the world where people bear these parts everyday and have never worn clothes. Doing it is all about shock value and not body confidence at all. And fashion has gone towards pushing these boundaries.

I don’t want to see nipples (male or female) when I am out and about. At the beach, no worries, been there, done that got the sunburn. At Tesco or the library??? Mmmm, it makes me feel like I am an unwilling participant in someone’s voyeuristic fantasy. So while people may say what is the ‘big deal’, I am just disrupting societal norms, but it is actually all about that shock value.

I just think people doing it are attention seeking and if that is your motivation, own that it is your motivation and understand why.

Oh and nothing like a child to point out the emperors new clothes if you did venture anywhere with kids around. Look mummy, that woman has her boobies/breasts/nipples out!

Well, part of the reason I haven't worn it is because I'm worried about people looking at me. And now everyone said there would be absolutely no way of avoiding the attention that would come with the top I've said I won't ever wear anything similar.
It's a weird one, I like to be different, think many facial piercings, tattoos, in your face hair, but I don't leave the house very often.
I do my make up to take Instagram pictures and then wipe it straight back off again.
I think it's trying to be part of something I'm clearly not part of.
I thought I has some friends before I had my boys, but all my friends turned out to just be work colleagues who I havent spoken to since.
My old best friend and bridesmaid at my wedding blocked me on all social media and my phone number one day and I still don't know why.
I sometimes try and make conversations with people from high school on Facebook or if I bump into them but if they ask to meet up I come up with reasons to avoid it until they stop talking to me because I keep blowing them off.

Anyways,
This is getting way too deep and physcholical.
I tried to leave it hypothetical and then posters didn't seem to take it too seriously, when I then mentioned it was for me to wear the comments went mad.
I hate to be the person who posts on AIBU and then can't take the heat, but bloody hell, I do think some of the comments could have had the same effect without the nastiness added in.
Especially after I updated 4 pages ago that i categorically would not inflict my nipples on stranger for my own and their comfort.