To think my male friend is in love with me?

[ExplodingHeart]

I don’t know why I think it. I suppose it’s a gut instinct. I’m very willing be told that I’m being unreasonable but I have this overwhelming feeling that my male friend loves me. Can I possibly know if he’s never said?

If I had to give some rational examples or evidence then I could try...
(For context he’s a very blokey bloke)

• he remembers all the little and big things that are important to me. He remembers dates that I have told him I have an important meeting or presentation coming up. I might not have mentioned it for 3 weeks but then the day before he sends his good luck.

• I’ve seen him look at me very differently to normal when he hasn’t had a chance to turn away. For example, one time I was walking ahead of him and had no idea he was there a few feet behind me. We were in a busy place. But I sensed he was there so I quickly turned around and smiled at him, taking him completely by surprise. He looked so vulnerable. He had all this tenderness and emotion in his eyes. A similar thing happened when I was meeting him somewhere and I approached him from afar. He was looking out the window for me. Again all tender and earnest. The second he saw me he turned away and went back to his normal self, full of bravado. A third time we suddenly bumped into each other fairly unexpectedly and he had that look again.

• another time I was somewhere where he definitely wasn’t expecting to see me. He came into the room (I had my back to him) and his feet shuffled on the floor in a startled way when he saw me. He composed himself in a flash and we carried on as normal.

I just have this overwhelming feeling of love coming from him. Am I projecting or could it be true?

We are very close. I think he’s wonderful.

Don’t let him be the one who got away! You both sound lovely and I think if you try and make something happen and it doesn’t work, you’ll feel much better than if you do nothing and he meets someone else.
It’s worth a shot!

Try it out! I have been with mine for twenty years and he is still wonderful.

Placemarking

Stop overthinking it and ask him to meet up! It doesn't really matter what you do. If there's a film, gig or place that you'd both enjoy, that would be perfect, but failing that it doesn't have to be anything special. Just ask him if he wants to go for a drink in his town, and get the train so you can drink. Personally I would have a drink or two to take the edge off but I wouldn't aim to get wasted and throw myself at him. I would just treat it like a date and hope that he feels the same. But I do think that once you've made the first move but inviting him on a date, you should wait and see what he does next - ideally he would reciprocate and invite you to do something.

It wasn't the same situation at all but when DH and I first met, we got on brilliantly but he didn't make a move as such, so I wasn't sure whether he saw me as a friend or something more. We met up with other friends a couple of times but it was slightly awkward (i liked him and i know now that he liked me, but nothing happened) and it only progressed when I was brave and invited him out for a drink. I was oh so casual about it but I was asking him out on a date (which I would never have done if I hadn't sensed that he might be interested).

Anyway sorry to digress. He sounds lovely, you sound smitten and I think you should go for it! You will kick yourself if you don't.

I hope things work out for you OP. You definitely need to do something, you will regret it if you don't!

Placemarking and rooting for you.

Yes just do it. Whenever I had a hunch that someone liked me it has always been true. You can just tell.

No need to make a big deal about it. Just say you are in his town for work and would he like to meet for a drink afterwards. Then see what happens when alcohol and flirting are thrown in to the mix. No big declarations.

Oh and the sharing the cigarette thing is very hot. You would not have been imagining that chemistry. You just need the opportunity again.

Place marking, I love threads like these, go for it OP!

Most of my boyfriends, including DH, have been friends first, and most are friends still, despite having tried a relationship, so it doesn't have to ruin a friendship.

I'm not keen on the 'get absolutely bladdered' approach as it can lead to confusion the next morning when you both realise it might only have happened because you were drunk, and try to save face, leading to heartbreak because then the other person tries to save face too. In other words your life turns into a bad romcom. A little alcohol can help, but any amount which bring ambiguity as to whether you really are interest, is ill-advised.

Instead, and depending on your relationship try one of these:

• Arrange more nights where it's just the two of you. If he seems happy with this, you can then up the frequency and the intimacy, which gives him plenty of time to start inviting other people, suggest going to the pub instead, if he doesn't want to get closer. Most of my friends-lovers relationships have shifted after a period of weeks of increasingly intimate settings, that start to feel a bit like dates.
• Hug at the end of the night, but just hold on a couple of seconds too long. That one has worked for me a couple of times.
• Drift close together and allow hands to brush whilst walking along. He may grab your hand, he may not, but if no one moves away it might give him/you courage to try an overly long hug.
• Go to the cinema (darker so better than theatre), rest your hand on the middle armrest. If he leaves his arm against yours, you can accidentally brush against him.
• A little alcohol, fight over the remote control or something, tickle fight. There's usually a moment where you both realise what this is really about.

Sorry if these sound juvenile, but they date from my younger days, as I'm now happily married to one of these friends!

Oh what a lovely thread, instincts can be very powerful, I'd say trust them. Can't wait for an update!

I know exactly what you mean, and I think he does. I agree with meeting for drinks and getting a bit flirty. Good luck!

Place marking and I just want to say @ExplodingHeart don't ever change OP! You're wonderfully romantic and you're lovely personality is popping out in the posts.

Hoping with all my heart that it works out for you.

@ExplodingHeart how about you invite him out or over with a third person present giving them the heads up and if they notice anything from his side, using coded language such as 'another glass anyone' which will be code for 'leave the room so I can talk to him about you'. They ask him if he has feelings for you and they hook you both up!
I'm a bloody genius! 😃

Go for it!

Take a chance. Tell him.

Oh please OP go for it and report back to let us know!!!

I'm in a state of laughter at your comment. Hilarious!

So exciting! Rooting for you OP!

Go for it OP!!!

I had a sense that a friend from work liked me, and one day it hit me that I reeeally liked him. I engineered a night out for a few drinks and eventually started 'the conversation' about how maybe we could be more than friends; he was falling over himself to agree with me. Later he confessed he'd been in love with me for months and was working up the courage!

6 years later we are married and gloriously happy. He's still just as loving, caring and considerate as he was before we got together and my stomach glows with joy when I'm with him. It's so worth going for- friendships make the best relationships!

Wheel 😍

First - you need to tell him
Then, make sure he knows
Finally, remove all doubt and spell it out.

just get drunk together. Then come back and update.
Shameless placemarking

I really hope this works out for you op!