To not want to give them my baby stuff?

[TheCheekOfSomePeople]

Bil and his fiancé are expecting a baby (12 weeks pregnant I think) and dh has just told me that mil has just asked dh when can fil collect our baby furniture, clothes, toys and books with his van. I think they are even expecting to collect the pram which my parents bought and we are still using (my dc is 22 months old).
Me and dh are also thinking about trying for another baby in the near future.
AIBU to think they are being cheeky?
AIBU to want to keep the stuff because my dc is still using the pram, toys and books and it might be difficult to get it back if we have another baby. And it might not be in as good condition as we gave it.
Dh didn't mention that we were thinking of trying for another baby

Has BIL's fiancé responded to your text? I would perhaps give her a call or better still, pop in. Take a pack of biscuits and make a brew. She could be getting the other side of MIL's battiness, and is feeling quite alone...

I think the mil is a cow, but the dh is the main problem.
Who would want to be with a man who put you second to his mother's wishes.
I'd have told him to slig his hook until he was ready to put me first.
OP do you have no self respect?
Do you not think you are worthy of better?
This is such a sad thread and lot's of pity for OP.

Still no reply from bil's fiancé. Wonder if it's because she doesn't know what I'm talking about or because she is annoyed because mil promised her all my stuff.

bakesalesally thank you for the reply. I also don't make my Mil or inlaws feel welcome because I don't cave into their demands. It's always my fault, never DH's. My Mil was also as batshit when I had my dc. She was obsessed about trying to get me to stop breastfeeding. She phoned dh every day to ask if I had stopped yet. She talked negatively about bf when I was only 10 weeks pregnant. Because she wanted to spend time with my dc and my DH without me their (hogging the baby as she put it).

My mil was adamant I wasn't to bf.. Because she couldn't bf her ds she didn't think it was fair dgs had breast milk when his df didn't!!
Bonkers I tell you!!

See, I would be sneaky and not tell DH that the locks were changed and just swap the key on his key ring. He won't realise until MIL can't get in and then you can ask her why she was trying to break into your house.

@Babysharkdoodoodood nice!

I wonder if the sister and mother in law cooked this up between them.

As for your husband, if he chooses to rest his balls in her handbag, then he's your issue, not her.

Still no reply from bil's fiancé. Wonder if it's because she doesn't know what I'm talking about or because she is annoyed because mil promised her all my stuff.

Surely though if she didn't know what you were talking about she would say so?

Anyway, you know she got it and read so that's that, now she knows, leave it at that. Cheeky arseholes the lot of them

Surely though if she didn't know what you were talking about she would say so

Depends.
I could see sil deciding to just stay out of it.
Or that she told BIL to handle it. Whether the OP would ever hear of this 'handling' (could simply amount to telling MIL that she shouldn't bother / that they didn't want them or something)? Rather debatable. Her MIL may very well decide to not inform her...

Or the SIL could have decided to first find out what happened (via her husband or by directly contacting her MIL instead of answering).

Or the OP's SIL might be on mumsnet as well /may have recognised the OP's text. Which... Let's hope not. Seeing as the OP's comments may not have inspired goodwill on the part of the potentially genuinely 'innocent' / uninvolved in laws?

I don't know.
The SIL may also be genuinely upset because she wanted the stuff. Or feel like the message simply didn't warrant a response.... 🤷🏻‍♀️

It all sounds so tiring for you as well. What a pain your MIL is.
When I had DS I got stuff from various different people who all volunteered to give it to us. (Though was very slightly put out with my flaky cousin, who said oh you can have all our stuff and then never mentioned it again...)

Babysharkdoodoodood That is a very cunning plan.

Oh, I feel your pain there. It was as if DS was her opportunity to redo her time as DH as a newborn. I was an inconvenient incubator.

That was when I was willing to try and please. After 17 years of marriage, I am over that, but I will always stay polite because it isn't fair on DH. He always always has my back, I know that, we just actively chose to not engage or fuel their dramas.

I like Babyshark's plan. Very clever.

My Mil was also as batshit when I had my dc. She was obsessed about trying to get me to stop breastfeeding. She phoned dh every day to ask if I had stopped yet.

My grandmother kept asking if I was still “nursing” DS.

In the end she asked me again at a family do and I said “no, I’ve stopped now”. I hadn’t. I carried on for another year but it shut her up.

@WaningGibbous You should see what I can do with a turnip.

@bakesalesally I have a very similar MIL situation and appreciate your advice!

Unfortunately it's too late for Babyshark's plan though, as he already knows.

@Confuddledtown bon chance! It's certainly challenging, isn't it?

I really really really hope that when I am a MIL, I will be at least liked!

@babysharkdoodoodood.
I think that is bloody genius.
Have some chocolate 🍫

"Hogging the baby"???? Jesus. Your MIL sounds worse and worse OP.

Your text was absolutely fine and reasonable. Have you heard anything back yet?

Your SIL probably doesn’t want your baby stuff, especially so early on. Its MIL being weird, like so many MIL I see on mumsnet!

The 'hogging the baby' comment says everything we need to know about this toxic woman.

Bypass your wet fart of a husband and contact your vile MIL direct in future so you can be firm and not give away personal information that has fuck all to do with her.

@Babysharkdoodoodood for PM!

You are not finished, end of. YANBU.