To not want to give them my baby stuff?

[TheCheekOfSomePeople]

Bil and his fiancé are expecting a baby (12 weeks pregnant I think) and dh has just told me that mil has just asked dh when can fil collect our baby furniture, clothes, toys and books with his van. I think they are even expecting to collect the pram which my parents bought and we are still using (my dc is 22 months old).
Me and dh are also thinking about trying for another baby in the near future.
AIBU to think they are being cheeky?
AIBU to want to keep the stuff because my dc is still using the pram, toys and books and it might be difficult to get it back if we have another baby. And it might not be in as good condition as we gave it.
Dh didn't mention that we were thinking of trying for another baby

[Flynn2019]

Hi OP I am in a similar position although my LO is only 8 months old and his cousin is due 2 days before his 1st birthday. I can tell my MIL is not happy we haven't just given them our Snuzpod, car seat and base and clothes etc. I explained that certain things we will be keeping as we plan on having more children and other things I plan to sell, being off on maternity leave has really dwindled the bank balance. I really don't understand the expectation some people have. I would never in a million years of expected anything from family/friends. If I do decide to give them anything I will be saying that it is part of the gift that we would be giving to them for the baby.

[TowelNumber42]

You obviously don't want to have the big row with your husband. So, you have to set the boundaries with MIL. If she uses it against me that's fine. Really. Be the bad guy. The bad guy who never has the piss taken by MIL again. It seems DH wants the women to fight it out. If he likes being under the thumb of a woman, and you are OK with it, make it be you not her.

[midnightmisssuki]

God. Your husband sounds useless, why are you with someone who won’t stand up for you?

[Fightingmycorner2019]

No , just no ! Get pregnant fast (joking obvs)

[Ninabean17]

I can't quite believe you're dh still hasn't said anything. I'd be seriously thinking about your future with this man.
Its great that you've changed the locks, but don't tell her, let her try and get in..

[smilingontheinside]

Sorry for such shit typing, Im tired and one of my pets is very sick so not a good day

[smilingontheinside]

Sometimes it takes a long times, years before you really see how weak your OH is. I knew mine was weak but I was strong and busy and before I realised it 30+ years had past. Well I'm kn thd other dide if this type of fall out, I am being maligned and bad mouthed by my dil. I havs stepped back from any relationship with her but still see ds and gcs. My oh has not supported me or stood by me when she has kicked off. So after thd 30+ years Im getting rid of him. Maybe save yourself all the years of being miserable and if he's not supporting you now get out. Wish I'd done it years ago!

[AdultFishcakes]

This OP will not be back. 100%.

[KindnessCrusader]

Are you still in possession of all your baby gear op?

[justilou1]

I have noticed that OP (in this post) has no interest in confronting her DH about HIS behaviour with HIS family. She has buggered off, but PP Says that the outlaws are a recurring theme. I wonder why?

[MadameButterface]

I concur re therapy

Advanced search shows that this op has had numerous threads about these unbelievably cheeky presumptive ils this last few months (inviting themselves to stay, demanding she pay for hotels when hosting them is not convenient, criticising her grocery shopping, demanding expensive gifts etc) and has been told on all of them that this behaviour is not normal or acceptable. Yet somehow she remains unable to put boundaries in place. I think the problem must run quite deep within the family dynamic and requires a level of help beyond mn pom pom waving tbh

[CravingCheese]

If MIL does come to the house and take your baby things, then report it to the police as theft.

Seeing as OP changed the keys.. Her mil would have probably been let in by the OP's husband. Who probably would have given consent to her taking the stuff...

I therefore don't see this being a particularly fruitful endeavor, tbh.

I am however wondering whether couple's therapy might be a good idea....

[Icanflyhigh]

Wow. Your mil is batshit crazy!

[LovePoppy]

That boat post is brilliant

[TheMaddHugger]

www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/77pxpo/dont_rock_the_boat/

[Pantalaimon88]

If MIL does come to the house and take your baby things, then report it to the police as theft.

[ncfortuesday]

The two of you sound bloody daft!

He sounds like an absolute melt and you're putting up with it! Nuts

[HollowTalk]

OP, did your BIL and his girlfriend buy you anything for your baby when it was born?

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

I told dh if he gives a key to his mum I'll change the locks again and he won't get a key, and then I'll be returning him to his mummy

The thing with ultimatums is that they're useless unless you mean them. Unfortunately I don't think he'll believe you for an instant and he certainly won't refuse MIL a key if she asks (and it will, of course, have been given "purely for emergencies")

So what are you going to do when this happens?

[Howyiz]

Ring your sil and ask her WTF is going on? Is your mil doing it off her own bat, in which case both you are sil can set her straight or sil is in cahoots in which case you set her straight, then ring your mil and set her straight.
If your mil is desperate for baby stuff I would give her the cot back and buy a new one and tell her that that is all she has claim to. Then never accept a present from her again.

[Honeyroar]

I will ask again- how do you put up with such a wet, pathetic husband? Never mind ringing your mil and giving her some grief you should be giving your husband grief until he bloody grows up and stands up for you and your/his baby.

[lynzpynz]

She offered to clean hand-me-down toys you'd been gifted and never returned them?! Who does that?!

This is just one of many things all caused by DH putting 'an easy life appeasing her' before looking after you and DC. Unacceptable, no other word for it.

Cut contact if you can with her, tell DH you don't want to hear any more of what she says about you and the automatic response to any more batshit requests involving your things / time / DC are a big fat NO thanks to her behaviour. He wants to appease MIL - let him, its all his problem now you're done engaging.

[Scoobydoobywho]

Is there anything that only your dh uses, maybe you can tell him someone you know wants it so they can have it and he can spend money replacing that. How would he feel about his things being taken.

[RebootYourEngine]

Can your dh not see how batshit crazy his mother is?

[justilou1]

I’m a bit interested in the dynamics between DH, BIL & MIL.... is BIL the golden child? MIL seems much more excited about BIL’s new baby than your little one. In fact, PIL both seem to have forgotten that your kid exists at all.