...to buy radar key online to use disabled loo?

[Marigo]

I’m not disabled and neither are any of my children, however I’m often out with my 3 under 2.5 and in our local shopping centre loos there’s no toilet in the baby change. The ladies is impossible with double buggy plus buddy board and the disabled requires a radar key. Same for the loos in the two big department stores so I just can’t go out into town unless it’s the weekend and my husband can come in case I need a wee! I’m struggling to leave the house for this stress but my mom is disabled and I know how shit it is when she can’t use the large cubicle she needs. I’m really conflicted about what to do.

I'm not sure I'd describe twins as a 'lifestyle choice' pp!

@raspberrytruffle how do you plan on tearing someone a new one (beautiful vocabulary you have btw), are you saying all disabilities are visible?

If not how would you differentiate between a "bitch with a brood" and a parent with a disability or with a child with a disability?

“We're out every day, but at child-friendly places (not shopping centres and department stores).”

Parents shouldn’t ever go shopping unless they can get childcare? Should disabled people be told to not go out either then?

“I've had years of having to change my dd on top of my coat because of entitled lazy bitches”

Where do you think other parents change their children? Especially if the facilities are in the disabled toilet?

I can't believe people think it's appropriate to leave 2 or more young babies unsupervised in a pushchair outside a toilets. Bizarre.

Shes not saying shes going to take a radar key off of a disabled person fgs! I dont see any problem with it at all. Most baby changing facilities are in the disabled toilet anyway

I'm surprised that people don't have to provide evidence of disability to get a key.

'And the effects of a twin pregnancy on my continence and control aren’t a disability but do make leaving the house without being certain of being able to use the loo quite stressy.'

This counts as a disability IMO, at least for the time that you have it. It's restricting your ability to get around etc or you even might have accidents! I think you can order a key with a clear conscience. I know a lot of women have this problem, but it effects everyone differently, and is kind of impairing your mobility in that it's impairing your ability to go out. Go for it xxx

Yabu to consider using a radar key but your problem is real - no adult loo in the baby changing and 3 small kids you can't leave outside.
So get a travel potty with a liner, have an emergency wee into it if you're really desperate and leave the liner in the nappy bin (properly tied, not leaking etc)

If not how would you differentiate between a "bitch with a brood" and a parent with a disability or with a child with a disability?

You can tell. They have guilt written all over their faces at being caught and then they try to 'assist' you to assuage that guilt.

"love our metro centre its fab I've registered my daughter and you can only used it by calling them on a buzzer and giving them your membership number, might put a stop to lazy cheeky entitled fuckers alongside their brood, honestly if I was waiting to change my dd as she quite often has exploded through her nappy I'd tear you a new arsehole pet"

So people with speech disabilities or not from the area wouldnt be able to use it?

As a disabled person I have to say that having to buzz someone and give a membership number in order to pee is a disgraceful way of dealing with it. I would feel so degraded by it. Nobody else has to seek permission to go to the toilet, why should I?

I don’t agree with buying a radar key for the reasons originally listed.
However, Those of you saying ‘go before you leave the house, you should be able to hold’ clearly haven’t experienced incontinence caused by child birth. Or any form of incontinence.
Also as for the big pram, I doubt even the smallest pushchair/pram would fit into a standard ladies cubicle with 3 children and an adult.
The issue really lies with the people creating the facilities.

I don't buy that @imnotyourgranny I'm pretty sure I've never looked guilty coming out of an accessible toilet with my twins.

I would have felt more guilt leaving them outside.

OP - buy it and go for it.

And nevermind what anyone thinks.

Posted too soon.

The issue is baby changing being in the accessible toilets and also standard toilets being badly designed.

In newer shopping centres there's seems to be more of a move to individual toilets rather than cubicles which seems to work better.

I don't buy that @imnotyourgranny I'm pretty sure I've never looked guilty coming out of an accessible toilet with my twins.

Even when face to face with someone disabled who is clearly struggling because you've kept them waiting?

No not if my children have needed to be changed and that's where the changing facilities are.

Parents shouldn’t ever go shopping unless they can get childcare? Should disabled people be told to not go out either then?

I don't see the link. If you can't cope with going shopping with three young kids, you should change the way you shop until the situation changes rather than CHOOSING to use facilities that aren't designed for you. It's the word 'choice' that changes things isn't it?

I’m entitled to one, but I don’t have one. Because I don’t go out when I’m that unwell that I would need one, and have only had one time I really desperately had to go, and as I bent over double with a stomach cramp, three lovely ladies all waiting said ‘go first’ (there are nice people out there!!).

Please don’t! You are not disabled, you are taking the piss.

YABU, but I don't see why women's loos don't just have a long cubicle at the end for prams. At the local leisure centre for example they have a pram sign on the disabled loo (they only have 1); so because there's nowhere else a pram will fit without leaving the baby outside of the cubicle it's nearly always in use. So unfair if you are disabled and made to wait, but there's no other provision. I agree with others than provisions for prams should be improved rather than increasing use of facilities which others need. I've avoided going certain places on my own as I know I won't be able to go to the loo.

They do have a baby changing room, but theres no toilets in it.

"Even when face to face with someone disabled who is clearly struggling because you've kept them waiting?"
You have no idea if anyone coming out of the toilet is disabled or not. Perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to judge

This situation can happen anywhere, not just in towns, shopping. It can happen in parks, train stations, anywhere.

I’m disabled, and am fine with people with prams and young children using the disabled loo.

It’s an accessible toilet - there for people who have difficulty using the regular toilets for any reason, which obviously you do.

Buy a radar key, use the toilets as quickly as you can. If you see somebody heading towards the toilet that you guess needs it more than you do, then wait till they’re done. Stop using it when your children are bigger.

No problem.

^ this.

It's funny how people expect us to hold our urine after having kids and our pelvic floors being shot to bits and leave our most previous belongings outside of a cubicle as not to inconvenience someone else.

Toilets are now accessible and not disabled.

You have no idea if anyone coming out of the toilet is disabled or not. Perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to judge

You have no idea of what the people coming out of the toilet are like when I see them. So perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to judge. Because I can tell. I know what shifty and guilty looks like. I know what the embarrassed 'oh let me help you' as they grab my arm and try to 'support' me means. They may try to hide it but they look like a toddler covered in crumbs trying to make out it wasn't them that ate the biscuits.

@nailslikeknives is that a joke? Are you suggesting OP pisses in a potty?!