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AIBU?

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Original poster

...to buy radar key online to use disabled loo?

746 replies

Marigo · 21/10/2019 14:31

I’m not disabled and neither are any of my children, however I’m often out with my 3 under 2.5 and in our local shopping centre loos there’s no toilet in the baby change. The ladies is impossible with double buggy plus buddy board and the disabled requires a radar key. Same for the loos in the two big department stores so I just can’t go out into town unless it’s the weekend and my husband can come in case I need a wee! I’m struggling to leave the house for this stress but my mom is disabled and I know how shit it is when she can’t use the large cubicle she needs. I’m really conflicted about what to do.

OP posts:
TabbyMumz · 21/10/2019 16:24

"And people buying them who aren’t disabled is exactly why they shouldn’t be allowed to be on general sale"
How do you propose people get them?

TabbyMumz · 21/10/2019 16:25

"I think changing facilities being in the accessible toilet is a very different issue. Buying a radar key just to use accessible toilet is wrong"
But if you havent got a radar key, how do you get in to use the changing facilities, if its locked?

Toastedstrudel · 21/10/2019 16:28

This reply has been deleted

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BlankTimes · 21/10/2019 16:30

But if you havent got a radar key, how do you get in to use the changing facilities, if its locked?

Do the ones that also have changing facilities have Radar locks?
.

TabbyMumz · 21/10/2019 16:30

The obvious answer to this would be to do a weekly shop online, surely?
What...and never go out!! Its not just towns, by me, lots of parks etc all have disabled toilets etc with baby change in them.

NewYoiker · 21/10/2019 16:30

I've just been diagnosed with Crohns and if I need to go I need to go. I will shit myself if I don't go to the loo there and then. No just shit either most of the time there's a lot of blood too so I can't just clean myself up. It has to be a full on change and yes something I have to bring with me everywhere. I'm looking at getting a stoma because of the pain and frequency.

The only reason I can live a half normal life is because I have a radar key. Please don't abuse the disabled facilities because you have kids. It can put people like me in a Horrible place.

Also I'm not afraid to tell grumpy people when I come out of the loo having just had another episode why I had to use the disabled loo as 'you don't look disabled' is apparently an acceptable thing to say to a 28 year old Hmm

Not all disabilities are visible but i shouldn't have to have a sign that says 'will shit myself at a moments notice'

Gilead · 21/10/2019 16:32

Toasted. Nobody on here has said don't use the baby change facilities if they are in with the disabled loo. Your animosity toward people with disabilities is a tad worrying. Being disabled does mean that one has a greater entitlement to an accessible loo without a changing facility. They were created for a reason and that reason was so that those of us with disabilities could access society on relatively equal terms.

TabbyMumz · 21/10/2019 16:32

Blanktimes....very often, yes. You'd have to go and find someone to open it for you. At a park near me, you have to walk half a mile to the office by the gate to get someone to open it, hence lots of mothers buying radar keys.

SinkGirl · 21/10/2019 16:32

I'd not be impressed if a mum and kids and a giant buggy( personal choice) piled out of the disabled loo.

Don’t be so judgemental. My twins are both disabled but only 3 so still in a regular “giant” double buggy. Judge me all you want, but I have as much right to use the disabled loo as you do.

AloeVeraLynn · 21/10/2019 16:32

@5zeds Well no obviously it hasn't been adjusted... There's one. A couple of separate male and female one and then one disabled/baby change. And that's in the three towns around here.

ghostyslovesheets · 21/10/2019 16:33

But if you havent got a radar key, how do you get in to use the changing facilities, if its locked?

you ask for it to be opened - although maybe they are there for the benefit of disabled parents - who do exist!

LonginesPrime · 21/10/2019 16:33

my mom is disabled and I know how shit it is when she can’t use the large cubicle she needs

OP, this should tell you everything you need to know.

If everyone with a buggy had a key, it would be detrimental to disabled people's quality of life.

Radar keys aren't for you because you're not disabled, so no, don't use one.

User7429001 · 21/10/2019 16:34

I have never come across changing facilities that are locked unless there is a changing table in the accessible toilet as disabled parents also have to change their children. people have to pay for them much Like a blue badge

ActualHornist · 21/10/2019 16:34

YABU. Cut your cloth - find places you can go that have family toilets. This is what I did when in the same situation.

Figgygal · 21/10/2019 16:35

I can't believe you've even asked tbh

Raspberrytruffle · 21/10/2019 16:41

As a parent of a severely disabled child yabu! Jeez

Raspberrytruffle · 21/10/2019 16:42

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Clevs · 21/10/2019 16:47

A lot of places I've been to have the baby changing table inside the disabled (accessible) toilet so I've had no choice to use it. If there's a table in the ladies as well though I'll obviously use that and always check first. But pubs especially tend to have the baby changing in the disabled cubicle only.

Passthecherrycoke · 21/10/2019 16:47

There are no baby change facilities reserved for disabled parents Hmm if there are baby change facilities in the loo, they’re for all babies/ parents.

I don’t understand why you think it’s a troll. Surely you realise if anyone can buy them on amazon then plenty of people who don’t “qualify” for them will buy them?!

Raspberrytruffle · 21/10/2019 16:47

I love our metro centre its fab I've registered my daughter and you can only used it by calling them on a buzzer and giving them your membership number, might put a stop to lazy cheeky entitled fuckers alongside their brood, honestly if I was waiting to change my dd as she quite often has exploded through her nappy I'd tear you a new arsehole pet

Raspberrytruffle · 21/10/2019 16:50

@Passthecherrycoke I dont give a shit I've had years of having to change my dd on top of my coat because of entitled lazy bitches so no I wont calm down , people with disabilities and children with disabilities have had to fight for everything even something as basic as a suitable toilet not for entitled cows like op

MinTheMinx · 21/10/2019 16:50

The obvious answer to this would be to do a weekly shop online, surely?
What...and never go out!!

@TabbyMumz Who said anything about never going out? We're out every day, but at child-friendly places (not shopping centres and department stores). That's what most people do when they've got young children with them and as the OP has realised she can't cope with this kind of trip, why not admit it's something that's (temporarily) not possible? Compromise is a big part of bringing up kids after all.

Toastedstrudel · 21/10/2019 16:51

Obviously the larger issue is there is a real lack of resources, accessible toilets, bus spaces etc for parents with small children. For a site that is geared towards mums, there’s a lot of disdain for the ‘lifestyle choice’ of having children. And ‘fight for your own spaces’ being spat out is really unhelpful. Let’s support each other and realise that disabled people need their spaces and resources but small children aren’t to be hidden away and shunned as inconveniences.

Sirzy · 21/10/2019 16:52

Most disabled toilets are barely accessible to people with disabilities anyway. Add in selfish parents who decide it is for them too and you can make it almost impossible for those with disabilities to go out at all

WiddlinDiddlin · 21/10/2019 16:53

@Hedgehogblues and all disabled toilets should offer changing facilities... but whilst we are cramming in the needs of non-disabled parents, there is not room to fit changing places facilities.