...to buy radar key online to use disabled loo?

[Marigo]

I’m not disabled and neither are any of my children, however I’m often out with my 3 under 2.5 and in our local shopping centre loos there’s no toilet in the baby change. The ladies is impossible with double buggy plus buddy board and the disabled requires a radar key. Same for the loos in the two big department stores so I just can’t go out into town unless it’s the weekend and my husband can come in case I need a wee! I’m struggling to leave the house for this stress but my mom is disabled and I know how shit it is when she can’t use the large cubicle she needs. I’m really conflicted about what to do.

i sometimes wonder about people who start these threads. do they really think first? or do they just see it as a bit of sport to get people arguing?
because surely no one is that self absorbed and selfish?

BooFuckingHoo2 my comment about people who 'nip in' certainly wasn't aimed at you and I'm sorry if you thought it was. You have an absolutely valid reason for using the disabled loo.

The fact that you're worried that your genuine disability might disadvantage someone who has a different one shows that you are exactly not the sort of person I was talking about. It was the able bodied PPs who've made the comments I referred to that I was meaning.

I.would say it's more urgent than someone with no disabilities Boo.,I take my son in them sometimes he slso.has autism but also has severe learning disabilities and wears nappies so if I need to change him.I take him in the disabled loos as there's more room .

I have one. I have a disability though, however, I do use them for changing as often the pull down changer is in there. If it isn’t then I don’t use it for changing.

I think.it's a deliberate attempt to provoke outrage @Samcro ?

Knifeangel....shop doors for big shops have double doors, often automatic. Often single doors would be too thin for a double buggy to get through, especially when many toilets these days have one door, immediately followed by another and they dont open properly. I'd be slightly pissed off if I saw a woman trying to get one of them into the ladies, especially when theres a queue and it's quite a small area by the sinks. If the baby change was in the disabled, she'd have to go in there anyway!!

I also think the thread has been started to get people rattled as the answer to OPs question is obvious so what's the bloody point in winding up disabled folks

x2boys odd isn't . the Op even knows its wrong but still started this thread. goady as fuck.

And knifeangel...I didn't say all women have radar keys, but lots have. They've been on sale for 20 years. Its handy to have if the baby change is in there.

Marigo yes, I am very hmm about all the 'lifestyle choice' arguments, and in complete agreement about your post natal pelvic floor issues.

If it were as simple as going to the loo before you left the house then not going for 4 hours, you'd have probably worked that out, yes?

We all need to be campaigning for more suitable public toilet provision for all women, those with disabilities, young children, trauma experiences etc, rather than blaming individual women for doing the best they can with less than ideal resources.

I did the use the end cubicle with door propped open so that I could see the buggy with the baby in a sling technique a few times, and found it profoundly degrading, embarrassing and upsetting. Other people on this thread suggest that they found it no problem. Lovely, good for them. This is the only time I've used an accessible toilet, although I do have a disability.

Like you, the reason I used an accessible toilet if I was desperate wasn't because I wanted to make life harder for people with disabilities, or because I was 'entitled' or because I don't understand what accessible means.

It was because I really, really needed the loo and there wasn't other provision that was suitable. If there was, I would have obviously used that.

And people buying them who aren’t disabled is exactly why they shouldn’t be allowed to be on general sale

I hate it when they put the only baby change facility in the disabled loo. It can take me a good ten minutes to strip off, clean and redress a baby after a nappy explosion and I’m always really conscious that someone could need the disabled toilet in that time.

In our local M&S the other week I had DS (2) and baby DD in the pram and DS was desperate for a wee. There was a huge queue for the woman’s and the pram wouldn’t fit so I asked a cleaner if they would keep an eye on the baby and pram while I took DS in to use the toilet (I can’t carry baby in as I need to be lift DS onto the toilet so need 2 hands). They told me to just pop in the disabled as I could fit the pram in and DS wouldn’t have to wait. We were less than 2 minutes and I still felt guilty all the time I was in there!

@Wonkybanana thank you, I think I’m just a bit over sensitive.

I generally feel really guilty about using disabled facilities, such as special assistance on public transport/queuing etc. I think it’s because I can function relatively normally most of the time that I almost feel like I should just get on with it.

Indeed @Samcro

I can only think of one place local to me where the baby change is separate to the disabled toilet and that is a department store. All of our public toilets are disabled and baby change combined. Are we not supposed to use the changing facility then..?

YYABU++++++

The obvious answer to this would be to do a weekly shop online, surely?
Shopping centres aren't the most exciting places for young children anyway, and it's a great way to curb overspending on 'stuff' too. I look after three under fives and just wouldn't bother taking them to a department store for so many reasons (difficulty with loo logistics being only one of them).

It’s an attempt to other disabled people and their families. To highlight their “privilege” and demand they share. Personally since as I said upthread I can’t go to the toilet at all when out and about 1:1 with my son and we manage our lives I’m fairly unmoved by OPs plight.

Take a piss before you leave the house, get yourself some modi-bod pants (other brands are available) or use a disabled persons facilities. I CARE NOT. Your desperate, OP, plight will probably last you all of another year or so. My situation is for the next 50 odd years. You don’t need anyone to allow you to behave badly, do it or don’t but ffs get on with it.

AloeVeraLynn

Are they locked with a RADAR key? I doubt it as they have baby changing in them.

Of course you use them as baby changing big that's what they are designed for (though they ought to be separated really). The op is talking about specific accessable toilets only

@AloeVeraLynn don’t be daft, if the facilities are together the number provided will have been adjusted accordingly.

Yes, YABU.

Your children are a lifestyle choice. Being disabled is not.

The layout of the women's toilets in my local shopping centre meant get a double buggy including inlines in there impossible.

I used to use the accessible toilet if I was desperate. It was either that or leave 2 babies outside unattended, so I'm quite comfortable with my choice.

Now we don't use a buggy I don't use the accessible toilet.

I've heard that the online knockoff cheap radar keys can break in the locks, therefore rendering the disabled loo unuseable for everyone.

Piracy of these keys and the use of replica keys damaging the locks has required manufacturers to find a way to distinguish between the genuine keys and the fakes
Article here attoday.co.uk/blue-badge-company-promotes-new-radar-key/

However that article goes on to state "Ellen Green, Director of the Blue Badge Company commented: “RADAR keys are much needed for a wide range of people who may suffer from various problems and cannot always manage stairs or a queue. Not everyone who has a genuine need for a key has a visible disability. Although these keys are for disabled people, they can be purchased by non-disabled people like pregnant women or those who have incontinence problems. The new blue heart design has been really successful so far – we’ve sold over 5,000 in under six weeks!”"

Problem is, how many of the pregnant women who could have justified needing speedy access to a loo during their pregnancy will think their access to disabled loos should continue as they already have a key and the bigger space is more convenient when you have a buggy and little ones?

Or other people whose bladder issues have been resolved, but they continue to use the disabled loos because they have a key and it's more convenient for them.

This system is just open to abuse by selfish people, there has to be a better way to make it fair for the users who genuinely need to use disabled loos as opposed to the CF users who just find more convenient for themselves without having any genuine need.

Can’t you just get the radar key from the shop though? I have to get them loads of places to get in the baby change.

I think changing facilities being in the accessible toilet is a very different issue. Buying a radar key just to use accessible toilet is wrong