...to buy radar key online to use disabled loo?

[Marigo]

I’m not disabled and neither are any of my children, however I’m often out with my 3 under 2.5 and in our local shopping centre loos there’s no toilet in the baby change. The ladies is impossible with double buggy plus buddy board and the disabled requires a radar key. Same for the loos in the two big department stores so I just can’t go out into town unless it’s the weekend and my husband can come in case I need a wee! I’m struggling to leave the house for this stress but my mom is disabled and I know how shit it is when she can’t use the large cubicle she needs. I’m really conflicted about what to do.

Absolutely pathetic I would never go into the men’s toilets to use a shewee standing next to a man? Seriously get a grip

Not to mention a man would be so uncomfortable with this. What about how men feel about this

@ChangeAndThenChange don’t try so hard to be goady. Seriously, it’s embarrassing.

😂😂 this is hilarious!

Fuck it I'm going to just piss as I walk around Marks and Spencer and the minimum wage laky can just mop it up behind me. That seems like a fair solution.

Or I'm going to encourage my 5 year old to take a shit in a mixing bowl in the Kitchen section of Asda and just sling it in the car park bushes as I leave.

😂😂

@MustardScreams how am I goady? Some suggestions are ludicrous to say the least, people are chatting crap

Why should it be uncomfortable to use a toilet that wasn't designed with you in mind?
It's just a toilet right and as long as it fits your needs then why should anything else matter?

Just because your comfortable with this doesn’t mean everyone is.

But another group are supposed to be comfortable when someone uses a space not designed for them?

The urinal was just an example of the more logical use it in the ladies. A lot of parents are saying they use the space because the cubicles aren't big enough. Don't want to sit and pee with the door open, don't want to leave the buggy outside the cubicle. To anyone walking past the cubicle, it looks like you are standing.

Going to the men's was in relation to some females having a desperate none medical urge to need to loo. If I am desperate and only the men's is available I will use it. Even though I have a radar key officially I use it when I have absolutely no alternative. Holding in pee gives me incredible pain from my kidney. They turn round to see no queue and head for the disabled toilets. How often are their queues for the mens?

Suggesting we use the males isn't ridiculous. Search through MN you will find others also saying use the mens.

*There queues
apologies for all grammar stuff

Well I’m the same, if I hold too long I get a UTI. People need to be careful suggesting things just because they are comfortable with it. Not everybody is, for whatever their reasons are. I am certainly not saying I use the disabled toilet out of convenience only. I only would use it if I was left with no other solution if I cane out & somebody was waiting who the facility was in place for I would apologise profusely & explain my situation with the hopes they forgive this.

Honestly, the suggestion of using a shewee and men's toilets are as ridiculous as those who aren't disabled using the disabled toilet.

It really isn't hard to understand. If you're disabled, use the disabled loo. If your child is disabled and you need to be with them, use the disabled loo. If you're not disabled, use regular toilets. If you have kids, use a parent and child cubicle if they're available, or otherwise make do with a regular cubicle. If you are going pram shopping, think about the practicalities of where you'll be taking that pram.

Do not use facilities that people have fought for for years out of sheer laziness on your part. Honestly. The amount of fighting people are doing at the minute for more Changing Places toilets and half of you want to bring all your sprogs in there and occupy it when you have absolutely no need? You should be ashamed of yourself.

You might have kids, and it might be a bit of a ball ache at times, but kids grow up. People live with disabilities, often, for a lifetime. Leave their facilities alone.

Using it in the males was one suggestion aimed at the I'm desperate and other than entitlement I have no need to use the disabled toilets..

Specifically aimed at parents who are using the disabled toilets because don't want the cubicle door open etc. They can leave the disabled loos alone and still go for a pee. Everyone is happy right?

And if a public toilet doesn't allow buggies into space then get campaigning locally and publically to make changes. Yes, you might not directly benefit once alterations have been made. But surely we should be thinking about the future,

Perhaps we will have to agree to disagree here

Pepepig

Your missing the point. Nobody is arguing that their aren't enough baby change facilities. There are plenty, a high percentage of which are in disabled toilets. Nobody is arguing that parents shouldn't charge babies in there.

The argument is should mum use the loo herself, so she can keep her children supervised while she does a pee? Which is probably far quicker than nappy changing 1 child never mind changing 3 children.

Ideally places would provide a family toilet like my local sainsbury has big enough for a buggy with change mat, two sinks and a normal sized cubicle completely separate of the disabled loo. But there not many of them around.

Human needing toilet while in charge of 3 three tiny humans. Human chooses accessible toilet where human can supervise three tiny humans, go for a wee (with the door shut )and wash hands.

What a fuss.
This thread is crazy!

@CoachBombay

Failing that there's always a soft seat in a library!

You're disabled for the purposes of the Equality Act if you have a physical or mental impairment that has a ‘substantial’ and ‘long-term’ negative effect on your ability to do normal daily activities.

That would theoretically include the effects on control and continence from a twin pregnancy, although I don't know how severe that is for the OP. It doesn't always mean a diagnosed illness.

I have a radar key because DD is autistic, incontinent for urine, and isn't able to use public loos. If she either needs changing, or on rare occasions has actually said she needs the loo, it has to be an accessible toilet as she can't access cubicles. But she takes ages either screaming and flinging herself on the floor if it's a change or to use the loo if she's using it. There's no doubt I'm allowed to use it for her, but at the same time I feel terrible about using the accessible loo because I know other people with disabilities can't wait the time she needs, but there's not a realistic alternative for her.

We really need lots more accessible loos rather than fights over how impaired you need to be to use them - and while we're at it, loos with changing facilities for older children too.

Mustard - no, absolutely not - hotcuppa said she was incontinent after her youngest and incontinence is a disability. Might not get PIP but that's not the test.

I'm going to suggest that "all that's wrong with the world" is more likely to be shaming a woman with accessibility needs into not using the accessible loos.

@Blackbear19

I am absolutely not missing the point, and do not dare attempt to patronise me.

If the mum is not disabled, she should not use a disabled toilet. It doesn't matter if it's quicker, because that's simply short hand for 'it's more convenient for the mum". Disabled toilets are not for mums (unless you're a mum with a disability or disabled child). Mums have regular toilets and baby changing toilets to use. People with disabilities can often only use one toilet, because it encases facilities which are essential for them. Does lazy mum with no disabilities need a hoist, for example? No.

Stop being entitled to facilities you are incredibly lucky not to need. Your behaviour is appalling and embarrassing. Let me guess, though. You're at ASDA and all the P&C spaces are taken. You're only just needing to quickly nip in with a handful of kids to get eggs and bread, so you park in the disabled bay. It's too much hassle unloading 3 kids far away from the doors when you're just going to be a few minutes. Unbeknown to you, a disabled driver has pulled up to the disabled bays and can't find a space. She now has to drive to the back of the car park so she can get out of her specially adapted car safely, and has to manoeuvre herself across a busy car park simply because you were an entitled mum? Do you see how utterly selfish you sound?

And yes, there's always that rare chance that all the disabled bays may be taken by all genuine blue badge holders. The chances of that are low, though. However, if all mums started using the disabled bays for their convenience, there would be none left for genuine users. This has dangerous consequences.

The same applies to toilets. You might think it's fine if you 'just quickly nip in and use it'. But what if everyone starts doing that? Suddenly, the disabled toilet is never vacant. Suddenly, the toilet which was designed for those with a wide range of disabilities (physical, mental, and so on) is inaccessible. Those who need a hoist have no other option and may end up soiling themselves waiting. Those who have needs which mean they cannot queue for lengthy periods may end up having a meltdown in the line. Their carer may get overwhelmed. It can get dangerous.

You might not see the harm in using it, and yes, you might be factually correct in that if just you use it, not many others will be directly affected. However, if everyone hops online and buys a radar key for their lazy convenience, it's a big problem. Show some compassion for those who already struggle with daily life.

There are more important people than you on the planet. Perhaps leave facilities which are for those who need them more alone, or go to a different shopping centre which is better suited for your incredibly specific needs. Alternatively, grow up and adapt like the rest of us. Stop being entitled to things you do not have any need for. The world does not revolve around you.

Mums have regular toilets and baby changing toilets to use

There is ONE in my town and that's not even in the town centre. The rest of the baby changes are all doubled up in a disabled loo.

@LauraMipsum I’m not shaming anyone, if you read my earlier posts I have similar issues and have never used a disabled toilet. There are thousands of women that have continence issues after giving birth, that does not give them the right to use accessible toilets when there are perfectly good toilets in the same place usually.!

@Blackbear19

The point of this thread was that OP was wanting to purchase a radar key to access and use disabled toilets. Not baby change/disabled dual purpose toilets (which she is entitled to use). If a toilet is multi-use then I don't have a problem with mums using the loo quickly while they are in there, obviously. They are entitled to be in there as it is also baby change.

I do have a problem with people who aren't disabled, going into disabled-only toilets to use them, however.

I personally don't agree that they should be doubled up (I think they're very different things and should be kept separate) however I can understand a cafe, for example, with a small flow of customers doubling up as the chances of two people needing the one toilet at the same time is even more slim than usual.

As I believe I posted up thread, ages ago.. if you have urgency issues, there are cards you can get that you show folk that gets you to the front of the queue, OR you can use to get access to toilets that are normally staff toilets.

I don't see anyone taking up that advice (apologies if anyone has), so it would seem that all these incontinent-due-to-reproducing folks are NOT sufficiently urgent as to need to get a card and use it.... so again it does look like it comes back to convenience, rather than genuine need.

Throughout this entire thread and others running, I fail to see anyone trying to organise a Mumsnet based campaign to separate facilities for disabled and baby change, or generally improve matters - Mumsnet COULD be a really useful power to wield in such a campaign but again it looks like it's easier to justify nicking the accessible loos than it is to .. do something about the real problem...

wanders off muttering

People are being a bit ridiculous here. Disabled toilets are usually where baby change is too. They are intended to be accessible not necessarily for people who may suffer from urgency. I think it’s fine op - buy a radar key.

@zsazsajuju except in this instance the OP is talking about an accessible ONLY toilet and not a combined baby change/accessible toilet in a local store...