...to buy radar key online to use disabled loo?

[Marigo]

I’m not disabled and neither are any of my children, however I’m often out with my 3 under 2.5 and in our local shopping centre loos there’s no toilet in the baby change. The ladies is impossible with double buggy plus buddy board and the disabled requires a radar key. Same for the loos in the two big department stores so I just can’t go out into town unless it’s the weekend and my husband can come in case I need a wee! I’m struggling to leave the house for this stress but my mom is disabled and I know how shit it is when she can’t use the large cubicle she needs. I’m really conflicted about what to do.

And there are lots of people on here who are disabled and have children. Or who have disabled children. And they know quite well how self centred people who think “it’s just a minute” is fine can make it impossible to even leave the house at time.

The disablist attitudes shown here are awful. But are also way too indicative of the views of society as a whole

Oh, and I have reported it. What an awful attitude towards people

@Toastedstrudel needs to be banned immediately for their completely disgusting views.

@MustardScreams

I agree

My shopping centre has a similar setup. If I need to pee I just park the buggy with baby in outside of the normal cubicle and take toddler inside with me, leaving cubicle door slightly ajar.

@MustardScreams if you can give me an example of how I have disrespected disabled people I will apologise

No ones complaining about parents using the babychange/accessible loo combination ... some of us strongly believe that those facilities should not be combined in the first place but that is not the fault of the parents who need to use them.

My issue is with the OP's exact context here - not disabled, simply inconvenienced by having three under three and not being able to manage that many children single handed in public when needing the toilet.

It is not a disablity that prevents the OP from going for a wee in the normal facilities, it is a combination of choices she made - to have children close together, to use large buggies, to go out without another adult to help and so in that context, no it is not appropriate to use specific accessible, non-combined toilets or to buy a radar key.

DO note that most of the RADAR keys sold are NOT official or genuine, but it is impossible for NKS to police that.

@DoloresDingo if we’re playing the ‘I’m worse off’ game I’m currently undergoing intense treatment for breast cancer that causes hideous side effects, like needing to get to a toilet ASAP. I have a toddler with me. I still have never used a disabled toilet. It’s all about pre-planning and being prepared.

Let’s add patronising to the list.

Fair enough @HowlinProwlin, admittedly I was referring to the standard accessible toilets here which are also under radar key here but simply have rails etc rather than hoists etc. I would not find it acceptable for anyone to use those just because you have a pram either.

Dear god, the level of intelligence on this thread is minimal.

Oh sorry it was everyone’s intelligence you were insulting. My mistake.

I have 4 DC and did use the disabled loo with them when they were very small and there was no accessible toilet available for us to use . It's hard to take babies into a loo without a buggy, do people think we should lie them on the toilet floor while we have a wee??? Toddlers who.are toilet training often need to go urgently and quite often you.might have a toddler and a baby and therefore a double buggy . I think people are being unduly harsh ,I never went to the trouble of getting a radar key but if the disabled toilet was locked I would ask staff if we could use it and they were always happy to.unlocck it for us. it's shocking in this day and age we don't have adequate facilities for families to use. Years ago my DM would have.left me or my siblings parked outside in the pram while she went to the toilet( or even into a shop) , I don't think.people would find this acceptable now, your dammed if you do and dammed if you don't ! Sometimes MN can be shockingly unsupportive of other mums.

Have you not read some of the replies?! I wouldn’t call anyone intelligent that thinks using services designed and adapted for disabled people intelligent.

Is ok*

Laughing at some people's idea of hell.

Mustard I don’t know if you are being deliberately obtuse or you really can’t understand and empathise with the other side of the argument but I think I’ll leave it there, my eyes can’t take any more rolling today.

The issue is with the inadequacy of the facilities, not the people who use them in desperation.

@MustardScreams Well I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis, I hope you have successful treatment & a very long & happy life

Well I may not be “intelligent” but my child safety trumps everything to me. I would never intentionally play somebody’s disability down nor am I breeding a generation of uncaring children with a lack of compassion. I am actually the complete opposite.

Listen. Even if a genuinely disabled person needed the toilet, and the toilet was being used by another genuinely disabled person, they'd have to wait. Non disabled often have to wait at regular toilets.

I'm 'allowed' to use the disabled toilets (IBD) and often have to wait (AND TRUST ME waiting isn't easy!!!) for disabled people to get out of the toilet. Wouldn't make me feel any less stressed if it were a mum with 2 kids. Just be quick. Don't faff about. And get out as quick as you can.

Really don't see the problem.

All you who cannot go and legitimately got a radar key buy a shepee instead.
Need to go simple. Go into male toilets, insert shepee, piss, remove the shepee, wash and go.

Where is the issue with this?

And purlease we need to use the disabled toilet when out because we as a couple cannot go into the toilet of the opposite sex. Says who?

Why is this a zero sum game? Maybe there should be disabled toilets and pram-accessible ones
People just don't think about this when designing toilets. You could even have signs in windows to show

Listen. Even if a genuinely disabled person needed the toilet, and the toilet was being used by another genuinely disabled person, they'd have to wait. Non disabled often have to wait at regular toilets.

You need some basic maths to tell you why that statement is so wrong. The number of disabled people V abled bodied is minimal, therefore the odds of another disabled person occupying a disabled toilet whilst you need it is tiny compared to if able bodied people use it too. Yes of course it can happen, but keeping the toilet for its use as a disabled loo, massively reduces that risk.

Ok you don’t want to go into the blokes toilets.
Go into ladies leave door open, pushchair is behind you. Stand and piss.
Not hard really to find alternatives that don’t put your children in danger.
Mum with young boy, he wants to use the men’s let him. You can go in there and supervise him. Same goes with dads and daughters.

Presumably if a couple both need to be in a toilet at the same time then one of them or a person they are caring for is disabled.