...to buy radar key online to use disabled loo?

[Marigo]

I’m not disabled and neither are any of my children, however I’m often out with my 3 under 2.5 and in our local shopping centre loos there’s no toilet in the baby change. The ladies is impossible with double buggy plus buddy board and the disabled requires a radar key. Same for the loos in the two big department stores so I just can’t go out into town unless it’s the weekend and my husband can come in case I need a wee! I’m struggling to leave the house for this stress but my mom is disabled and I know how shit it is when she can’t use the large cubicle she needs. I’m really conflicted about what to do.

Listen in the near future I’m going to start a thread asking mums with young babies/children what they do when out alone & need to use the toilet

I left them outside the cubicle door. I've never heard of a baby being taken from outside a cubicle door, I believe the risk is no greater than the risk of someone sneaking into you house and taking them while you're in the bathroom. Besides which, if anyone took mine they'd be bringing them back after a few minutes and begging me to take them.

Change that's very frightening. And yes I'd agree if they were brazen enough to snatch from a mother's hand they'd try from outside a loo.

Kanellebull of course the risk is greater than if you were in your home unless you leave all your doors unlocked and routinely have strangers coming in and out as they please.

In all my years using public toilets I’ve never seen babies left outside the cubicle. Personally I think it’s irresponsible and I would never take the risk, even if it’s a low one.

Kanellebull of course the risk is greater than if you were in your home

Prove it!

This conversation has just got really silly, I can only think of 2 abduction cases from inside a home.
Loads have taken place out with houses, Inc shopping centres, and maternity wards.

Dear god, the level of intelligence on this thread is minimal.

Kannelebulle I don’t need to “prove it”, it’s obvious and and if you can’t see that you must be terribly thick.

So if its so extremely dangerous to take children out in public single handed because child snatchers will snatch a kid out of a mothers hands...

You definitely shouldn't be going out alone. Then there will be two of you to child wrangle whilst you go to the toilet in turns, thereby solving the issue of needing to use disabled toilets when you aren't actually disabled.

FFS it’s not extremely dangerous to take your children out But it’s not controversial to think young children shouldn’t be left alone unattended in public, that’s just good parenting and common sense. If that inconveniences someone else for the 30 seconds it takes me for to have a piss then too fucking bad, frankly.

How many babies have been abducted from public toilets?

How many adults with young people have had to risk injury to the adult or the Carer by lying them on the floor to get changed?

I know where the real risk lies

@HowlinProwlin nobody has said it’s dangerous

This is going to be such an unpopular opinion and I'm going to get flamed but ....

I use the disabled loos with my 5 year old son and I'm a lone parent.

He refuses to go in the ladies and I can't let him go in the men's on his own. This isn't in fear of him being attacked or anything, the fucker turns all the taps on and thinks it's hilarious 🤦🏻‍♀️

I've tried dragging him by force to the ladies but he just screams "I'm a boy, no mummy" or worse...gets, ahem, "inquisitive" about the other ladies, he keeps asking them "are you bleeding too?" And we won't go in to what happened when a transwoman was in the toilet and he felt the need to ask me at the top of his voice "why is that boy dressed as a girl mummy?" I apologised profusely to said woman. He's genuinly a fully fledged social hand grenade.

If I can get away with him having a wee in the car park by my car I will, but sometimes it's just not possible and the disabled toilet is our only option so I take him in there quickly. I don't use the facility just him.

@Sirzy A very large percentage of children are abducted in public

Let him get inquisitive. Him being stubborn isn’t a disability

So provide back up then. I want examples of how many are Abducted from public toilets.....

@sirzy I said public places I mean if you’ll leave your baby alone in a public toilet you will leave them unattended other places too

I don’t give a shit if it’s ever happened before. That doesn’t mean it won’t ever happen and I’m not taking the risk.

Just outside a door is very different though. When you can see the feet that are coming near said door and it takes all of a minute (as has been pointed out many times as justification for using disabled toilets)

@sirzy no it’s actually not a child/baby out of sight is out of sight! It’s an unnecessary risk only an idiot would take. Would you be able to run across a shopping mall after your child if you saw someone’s feet approaching? Would you want to put your child in that position

Sirzy I know it's not, like I said o knew it would be unpopular. But the older he gets the less comfortable I get with forcing a boy in to women's spaces. In a year or so he will be able to go in the men's on his own I imagine, it's just I'm at a awkward stage of damned of o do damned of I don't.

I k ow it's not "right" but the alternative is just hell all for a 2minute wee.

Then if your not comfy with that make an alternative plan that doesn’t involve using disabled toilets. It’s not rocket science but disablist people like you make life harder for disabled people day in day out and don’t care in the slightest

Sure but that’s not every situation is it? In some bathrooms, such as my local shopping centre) there isn’t the space to park the buggy outside the cubicle door, it would have to be a couple of metres away, and there often isn’t a gap under the door. And the baby change is in the disabled toilet.

Again though your “hell for two minutes” could lead to an adult pissing themselves just because your not willing to parent your child and say “this is what is happening”

*How many babies have been abducted from public toilets?

How many adults with young people have had to risk injury to the adult or the Carer by lying them on the floor to get changed?

I know where the real risk lies*

But theres no real correlation between the 2 . The woeful lack of changing facilities for those who need adaptions is a very serious, but seperate issue. I would rather money was invested in those (despite being fortunate enough that I don't have to use them) than large cubicles with no adaptions but are for prams, the offset of that would be that perhaps people with prams would occasionally use disabled toilets. A bit of I can't so you shouldn't, and nastiness on this thread, what a surprise.

Sirzy I do like I said a wee in the car park, or down the side of a building. I'm encouraging public urination over using the disabled toilet if I can 😳 but I don't think pissing in the rubber plant pot in Debenhams 3rd floor home display is going to go down too well.

Like I said, I knew it wasn't going to be a popular opinion.