...to buy radar key online to use disabled loo?

[Marigo]

I’m not disabled and neither are any of my children, however I’m often out with my 3 under 2.5 and in our local shopping centre loos there’s no toilet in the baby change. The ladies is impossible with double buggy plus buddy board and the disabled requires a radar key. Same for the loos in the two big department stores so I just can’t go out into town unless it’s the weekend and my husband can come in case I need a wee! I’m struggling to leave the house for this stress but my mom is disabled and I know how shit it is when she can’t use the large cubicle she needs. I’m really conflicted about what to do.

"Then that simply means people decide for themselves whether they are in need of a disabled loo"
Yessssssssssss....did you really think people needed to meet the equality act in order to use a disabled loo?

Also... Cancer is a condition that affects every day living...so does meet the equality act anyhow.

@SinkGirl but if your children are disabled your point is irrelevant, stroller size or not? You are using a loo with disabled individuals

And how would the people threatening to verbally assault mothers leaving disabled toilets know that my kids are disabled or that I have damage to my bladder from 6 endo surgeries and an Emcs?

This was my point.

"She has said she's got continence issues that relate to how urgently she needs the loo",
So disabled, yes?

If this was the real issue do you think she wouldn't have put that in her OP?

I think if her issue was severe enough to not be able to make it to a normal toilet there's no need even for the thread in the first place and even if she did post if she'd said "having twins has left me unable to make it to the loo in time, wibu to get a radar key online" of course no one would say she is bu.

But her op is about a double buggy, hence my suspicion the issue is not serious enough to warrant a radar key. But if it is then I of course stand corrected.

OP, you asked WWYD?
Considering that as you state, I’m not disabled and neither are any of my children, then in your situation I wouldn’t dream of acquiring a RADAR key.

Why didn't you mention your incontinence problems in your op?
The only thing you were concerned about was fitting your double buggy into the ladies toilets

The sense of entitlement beggars belief.

Unfortunately you're not unique.

You are not disabled, your children are not disabled. So no you shouldn't buy a radar key so you can use the disabled toilets.

Of course you can. It’s accessible toilet, so use it.

I usually do the take pushchair in to ladies and leave outside cubicle whilst peeing with door open. A couple of weeks ago I did this was mid pee and a partially sighted woman comes in being verbally guided by her husband outside who couldn’t see my pushchair. I couldn’t stop mid pee but managed to get the woman not to crash into the pushchair and her husband to come and rescue her all whilst still peeing.

It probably would have been safer to use the accessible loo but I was desperate couldn’t see one and my bladder isn’t what it was.
The only answer to the issue is more larger loos for everyone to use.

Im in two minds really cause theyre not "disabled" toilets anymore, typically theyre "accessible" toilets.. and in your case, access is the issue. I probably would, but just dont abuse it

Marigo can you imagine the uproar if your child was hurt or god forbid abducted whilst you were merrily peeing after trusting some random person you'd never met to look after them?

FFS it says it all when someone tells you YABU unless you've pissed yourself!

I don’t know why accessible has been taken by so many to mean “open to anyone”

Being accessible is about making facilities so that those with disabilities can access things they wouldn’t be able to otherwise.

Most accessible toilets barely meet the minimum standards as it is and are only a box ticking exercise. When people abuse them by using them when not disabled that just makes things even harder for those who have to use them.

I can't get my wheelchair through the normal loos, so depend on access to disabled loos.

Your lifestyle choice doesn't give you carte blanche to abuse, and it is abuse, facilities, but like so many arrogant tossers who misuse disabled loos, parking spaces, etc, I expect you don't care - yet if a disabled person parks in a P&C space you go batshit.

The amount of people advocating your stance proves my point too.

I'll make a concession for you - you take my disabilities and wheelchair; I'll take your kids then you can use all the disabled facilities. Deal? No? Thought not, somehow...

The OP has stated she knows it's not ok, but what option does she have?

Yes OP. Your children, shopping venue, pram size are all lifestyle choices.

Also, you went from saying you are not disabled in the 1st post to backtracking and saying you were, in fact, disabled after it was clear that the vast majority disagreed with you.

You aren't entitled obviously, but certainly seem to think you are...

Some of us have a disability that is not visible and when we (I say we as if I am out with my children they're too small to leave outside alone) use the accessible loos, people give us awful stares. They can't see the digestive disease I have that means at times I can't wait or I will soil myself. They also don't see the 50% of the time I don't have to use the accessible loos. I feel people should be less judgy and more accepting of individual differences. But equally not abuse a system for their own gain .

YAbvu

I did. I wasn't leaving my baby in a pram outside a toilet cubicle whilst i have a wee. Fuck that. Also a number a baby change facilities are in there when I've been out and about.

All these incontinent women! Self control and more pelvic floor exercises or you won’t be able to leave the house at 60 without pull-ups.

Do fuck off.

Yanbu. Park in a blue badge space too, or if using public transport use the wheelchair space. And get in a claim for a carer to come and help you at home while you're at it. It's not fair that only the lucky people with disabilities get all these amazing perks. Especially when reproducing is exactly the same as a disability.

Personally I'm always overwhelmed with jealousy when I hear of anyone that needs to use disabled facilities. Least they could do is share their toilets with those of us unlucky enough not to have disabilities.

I'm going to disagree with the majority here and say YANBU. Do people really expect you to either not go to the toilet or drag 3 young children into a normal cubicle with you whilst you wee??? Not very hygienic or good for your health. It's not your fault there are no suitable facilities. I say buy the key. No one who sees you use the facilities will know you are not disabled. Sometimes us mums need to be a little bit selfish to survive.

I did the use the end cubicle with door propped open so that I could see the buggy with the baby in a sling technique a few times, and found it profoundly degrading, embarrassing and upsetting.

And how do you think a disabled person with Crohn's, Ulcerative Colitis, Incontinence or wheelchair user feels when they piss/shit themselves because a mother has "nipped in for a wee"? (General, I did note your disability).

No one who sees you use the facilities will know you are not disabled

This is the kind of shit that makes the life of a disabled person just that little bit more difficult.