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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hit trigger warning for attendance- all for poorly baby

132 replies

12carrots · 20/10/2019 21:40

Help me out MN!
Work have taken me to the side and said I need to attend a meeting RE my attendance- I've had 2 days off (not together) in the last 6 months to look after my son. Childminder would not take him these days as he had v&d, anyway I would rather be there with him when hes not well. Especially as I am still breastfeeding and he rejects the bottle when he's poorly.

I had one sick day last week, I was genuinely very ill and also vomiting. I work on a reception desk so very customer facing.

I was under the impression that ALL employees are allowed emergency time off for dependants?

Should work be classing these absences as different absences or are they 100% correct to class all absences under one category?

Soooo.... AIBU to not expect to hit my "trigger points" when I've had one absence for myself?
No family nearby so no emergency childcare available, they are aware of this too.

OP posts:
LIZS · 20/10/2019 21:45

Do you work full time or part time? It may be taken as a % of your working hours but best consult your Absence policy.

daisychain01 · 20/10/2019 21:46

You really need to check your company's policy - that's what counts. It should clearly state what constitutes emergency care, and whether paid or unpaid. If you have to do an attendance review, they need to give you the information as part of that discussion.

NeedAnExpert · 20/10/2019 21:46

You’re entitled to (unpaid) emergency time to make arrangements, not to actually look after the child.

And if you were vomiting, you should have stayed off until you had had 48 hours clear before returning to work, surely.

Your employer is entitled to be concerned about how much unexpected time off Any staff member is having.

StepAwayFromGoogle · 20/10/2019 21:46

If it's the Bradford Index then reasonable time off for dependents is not meant to be included in the score.

TooManyPaws · 20/10/2019 21:47

You need to check what your policies state. I'm a bit out of date, but aren't parents entitled to so many (unpaid?) days off for dependents?

NeedAnExpert · 20/10/2019 21:48

How much time off has your husband taken with your children when poorly?

Mouikey · 20/10/2019 21:49

First you need your sickness policy and special leave policy.

Secondly, did you phone in sick when your son was poorly or specifically ask for special leave to care for him. Did you talk about god with your manager in your return to work discussions?

Do you have flexi or could you have taken leave? Again this would have depended on what you said when you called in.

In the event that you called in sick on each of these occasions, it doesn’t matter if it was for you or your son. I assume the trigger that you have met is not more than two instances of sickness in a specific period of time (usually but not always 12 month rolling)?

Are you in a union?

I am not sure but there maybe caters leave available for all, but I understand this is unpaid. Again you need to check the policies, but it would all depend on what you said when you called in.

StepAwayFromGoogle · 20/10/2019 21:50

You’re entitled to (unpaid) emergency time to make arrangements, not to actually look after the child.

WTAF? No childcare setting is going to take in a child with D&V. Not everyone has GPs on tap who don't mind getting really sick in their retirement.

Mouikey · 20/10/2019 21:50

Ffs not did you talk about god when you returned, but did you talk about it!

NeedAnExpert · 20/10/2019 21:51

I know. I don’t either.

But that’s what the law says.

mineofuselessinformation · 20/10/2019 21:52

Yes, if it's a Bradford score thing it's an absolutely rubbish way of dealing with absences.
Attend the meeting, state your case.
If they still insist on 'taking action' then let them do it (but do involve your union), and remember at the same time they are supposed to help you to reduce your absence in the future, so they need to put 'appropriate measures' in place to help you avoid it.

NeedAnExpert · 20/10/2019 21:53

Unless the OP has less than 2 years service.

Original poster
12carrots · 20/10/2019 21:53

I'm part time, and yes I should of had 48 hours off for vomiting, but I'm glad I didnt as they would mark that as another period of absence

OP posts:
NeedAnExpert · 20/10/2019 21:55

Ah. I love it when people do that. About 20 other people generally end up catching it. 🤮

RedskyToNight · 20/10/2019 21:57

StepAwayFromGoogle
You might have no alternative but to take time off work to look after your sick child, but legally emergency leave is only sufficient time to make arrangements

Hesafriendfromwork · 20/10/2019 21:58

3 absences in 6 months sounds like the standard trigger. How may hours do you work a week?

Work do not have ro let you have time off for poorly children AND then not count it as an absence. Unfortunately.

Original poster
12carrots · 20/10/2019 21:59

Sorry- trying to answer all questions!
My partner has not taken time off recently as he is in the middle of a heavy training scheme leading up to a promotion, he is the only one who can do his job and he earns more than twice what I do, so financially it makes sense for me to take emergency time off.

We don't have any other childcare options, closest family is a 4 hour drive away- so by the time I've dropped lil one off and driven home my shift would be over!

I've only been employed here for 6 months as I started here when coming off of maternity leave.

After every period of absence we fill in a return to work form and are supposed to have a return to work interview (though I have never had the interview, just the paperwork)

OP posts:
DonPablo · 20/10/2019 21:59

Well, where I work, you'd take the day your were ill as sick leave. The other two instances would have either been unpaid leave or short notice annual leave if you still wanted to be paid for the days.

How did you take the days for your son? Annual leave, paid leave or your own sick leave? If its your own sick leave, so we're paid, weren't actually sick and haven't dented your own leave allowance, then they're within their rights to flag this up as problematic.

It sucks, because again, all the places I've worked count one day sick the same as two weeks sick. Its just a period of absence. 3 of those in 12 months is the first step to an intervention. So it sounds to me that this is what you've triggered.

Mouikey · 20/10/2019 22:00

So did you request the absence as sick leave, flexi, leave or unpaid caters leave?

Mouikey · 20/10/2019 22:01

Carers not caters!

Original poster
12carrots · 20/10/2019 22:01

@NeedAnExpert
I agree with you, I shouldn't have gone back until the 48 hours, but cant risk hitting any more trigger points as one of the kids is sure to fall Ill sometime in the next 6 months!

OP posts:
NeedAnExpert · 20/10/2019 22:02

Be careful how hard you assert your “rights”. With less than 2 years service it’s extremely easy to find a legitimate reason to sack you.

Original poster
12carrots · 20/10/2019 22:03

@Mouikey
I guess I requested it as sick time, but explained the reasoning why each time during the phone call. I should of been more aware.

OP posts:
NeedAnExpert · 20/10/2019 22:03

Sounds like you phoned in sick 3 times?

Several posters have asked what sort of leave you took.

NeedAnExpert · 20/10/2019 22:03

🤦🏻‍♀️

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