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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hit trigger warning for attendance- all for poorly baby

132 replies

12carrots · 20/10/2019 21:40

Help me out MN!
Work have taken me to the side and said I need to attend a meeting RE my attendance- I've had 2 days off (not together) in the last 6 months to look after my son. Childminder would not take him these days as he had v&d, anyway I would rather be there with him when hes not well. Especially as I am still breastfeeding and he rejects the bottle when he's poorly.

I had one sick day last week, I was genuinely very ill and also vomiting. I work on a reception desk so very customer facing.

I was under the impression that ALL employees are allowed emergency time off for dependants?

Should work be classing these absences as different absences or are they 100% correct to class all absences under one category?

Soooo.... AIBU to not expect to hit my "trigger points" when I've had one absence for myself?
No family nearby so no emergency childcare available, they are aware of this too.

OP posts:
RedskyToNight · 20/10/2019 22:03

If the trigger at your work is instances of absence it would have made no difference if you took off day or 2.

Original poster
12carrots · 20/10/2019 22:04

@DonPablo
1 day each for all absences.
We dont get sick pay, so I wasnt paid for this.

OP posts:
RedskyToNight · 20/10/2019 22:05

So you rang in sick despite not being sick? What was written on the rtw paperwork?

Original poster
12carrots · 20/10/2019 22:06

@RedskyToNight

I didnt tell them I was sick, I called in and said I was unable to come in because I had to care for my poorly son. Think they automatically put that down as sickness though

OP posts:
IHateWashingUp2 · 20/10/2019 22:10

Er isn’t it illegal not to give sick pay, at least on a normal contract? (I’m asking)

NeedAnExpert · 20/10/2019 22:11

There are 3 waiting days for SSP. So no statutory sick pay for single day absences.

Mouikey · 20/10/2019 22:12

@12carrots
As you requested it as sick leave, that’s how they will treat it, whether you have a cold, chicken pox or other ailment. So as you have met a target, it is right that they investigate. You’ll probably end up with another much shorter target. Going through a capability for meeting this target is normal. Make sure you don’t meet the next target.

However, beware... you called in sick when you weren’t. They could take umbridge at this. You should check (tomorrow) if they offer unpaid parental (special or carers) leave. If they do, apologise profusely and explain that you didn’t realise and asked for the wrong type of leave. Assuming that on your rtw forms you stated your son was ill. If you said you were poorly on your rtw form, I think you will need to accept the capability process.

Mouikey · 20/10/2019 22:14

And if your not already, join a union.

TheBitchOfTheVicar · 20/10/2019 22:14

he earns more than twice what I do, so financially it makes sense for me to take emergency time off.

It won't make financial sense if your work let you go before probation is up/in the first two years of your employment. Plus it sends the message that you will also put his career first, which you may know from reading lots of threads on here is a huge no no if you want to have the means to remain financially independent.

DonPablo · 20/10/2019 22:14

Ah, so they've recorded it as your sickness, and as you're only entitled to ssp, and they were all single days you're also unpaid for the days. Now that sucks.

I'd explain that the mistake is how those 2 days have been recorded. That you were expecting them to be recorded as unpaid carers leave, because that's what you needed and you explained it at the time, so it's an error.

You can but try! It's the truth after all.

Mascarponeandwine · 20/10/2019 22:20

I’m always mystified by the “only allowed to take one day to make arrangements, you’re not supposed to look after the child”. But if you don’t have willing family, or your friends all work, what arrangements can you possibly make? Can you really call up sitters.co.uk and hire a babysitter to deal with d & v ? What “arrangements” could you possibly make? Talk about being set up to fail.

NeedAnExpert · 20/10/2019 22:23

“only allowed to take one day to make arrangements, you’re not supposed to look after the child”

It’s not “a day”. It’s a reasonable time period, which will vary from case to case. There are babysitters that can be employed to look after ill children, you may need to take them further away to someone that can look after them, or use the time to find someone to swap your shift......

CanThingsChange35 · 20/10/2019 22:23

For the record, you could have taken 48 hours off (and should have to protect customers and colleagues Angry) and it would only be calculated as one period of absence. It's not the days that count it's the number of periods of absence.

A colleague was off for 6 months following an operation and this was counted as one period of absence.

So, if you'd had all three days off together it would be one period of absence, not three.

It sounds like you would benefit from a thorough explanation of the sickness/leave policy with either your line manager or someone from HR as you've taken sick leave when you didn't need to.

Loveislandaddict · 20/10/2019 22:30

Maybe the meeting is a ‘back to work’ meeting after your illness, rather than an attendance meeting?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 20/10/2019 22:30

Er isn’t it illegal not to give sick pay, at least on a normal contract? (I’m asking)
I worked for an Asshole of a company once who wouldn’t pay sick pay the first year, so we all came in sick to get paid. I think you can claim sick pay through the government but it was such faff for pitiful amounts.

Mollpop · 20/10/2019 22:33

it's not the days that cont, it's the number of absences

Not necessarily. In my job you hit trigger an more than 3 spells of absence or more than 10 days in 12 months

Original poster
12carrots · 20/10/2019 22:35

@Loveislandaddict
I was supposed to have a back to work meeting after every period of absence, but havent had a single one. Then they're jumping straight into the attendance review meeting.

OP posts:
sweeneytoddsrazor · 20/10/2019 22:52

@12carrots
Who filled out the paper work? We have rtw interviews but it mainly consists of who ever is conducting it filling out the form and both of you signing it. Questions are along the lines of are you feeling ok now, did you need to see a Dr and so on, all very simple. They cannot go straight to an attendance review if you and your manager havent done this.

NeedAnExpert · 20/10/2019 22:57

They cannot go straight to an attendance review if you and your manager havent done this.

There’s no law that says there has to be an interview. The company policy may be that the form needs completing but be silent on meetings.

SusieOwl4 · 20/10/2019 23:00

In our company we would have to take that as holiday not sickness

Original poster
12carrots · 20/10/2019 23:03

@sweeneytoddsrazor
I got handed a form, filled it out, handed back to management, they sign it and file it away without ever discussing it despite policy stating we should have a return to work interview after every absence

OP posts:
TequilaPilates · 20/10/2019 23:05

It's not the days that count it's the number of periods of absence.

In my job it's days plus periods of sickness. So no more than 3% sickness or 3 periods of absence, in a 26 week rolling period.

goodwinter · 20/10/2019 23:06

OP it seems you're being penalised for not being aware of the different absence types - I don't know if there's much you can do about it (as you don't have 2 years of service, so they can pretty much do what they want at this point as long as it's not discriminatory), but you have my sympathies.

I'd explain that the mistake is how those 2 days have been recorded. That you were expecting them to be recorded as unpaid carers leave, because that's what you needed and you explained it at the time, so it's an error.

^^ This might be your best shot.

SunniDay · 20/10/2019 23:15

Hi OP,
Take a look at these government pages about time off for dependants and parental leave - and print/highlight for your employer.

(from time off for dependants: www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants/problems-when-you-take-time-off)
"Your employer musn’t:
treat you unfairly for taking time off, for example refusing you training or promotion
dismiss you or choose you for redundancy because you asked for time off for a dependant
refuse you reasonable time off
If you think you’ve been unfairly treated for taking time off for dependants, get advice from your staff or trade union representative or Acas."

Schuyler · 20/10/2019 23:20

The issue with emergency dependents leave is the word “reasonable”. It’ll depend on work policies. For example, if you’re phoned by a teacher at 10 am to collect your child from school who needed A&E plus a bone re-setting for a dislocation, it’s reasonable you won’t be back by 5 pm once you’ve dealt with that. The employer will need to ascertain if this day’s leave was reasonable as it’s for an emergency.