Hit trigger warning for attendance- all for poorly baby

[12carrots]

Help me out MN!
Work have taken me to the side and said I need to attend a meeting RE my attendance- I've had 2 days off (not together) in the last 6 months to look after my son. Childminder would not take him these days as he had v&d, anyway I would rather be there with him when hes not well. Especially as I am still breastfeeding and he rejects the bottle when he's poorly.

I had one sick day last week, I was genuinely very ill and also vomiting. I work on a reception desk so very customer facing.

I was under the impression that ALL employees are allowed emergency time off for dependants?

Should work be classing these absences as different absences or are they 100% correct to class all absences under one category?

Soooo.... AIBU to not expect to hit my "trigger points" when I've had one absence for myself?
No family nearby so no emergency childcare available, they are aware of this too.

So if your baby refused to bottle feed when ill and only breastfed, majority of MN would still rather leave their kids with a stranger?

I don't think anyone is suggesting you would need to do that. People were however suggesting that you and your partner could and probably should share child care.
Because you are are not a single parent without a support system. And it's not like breastfeeding initially seemed to be your reason for prioritising your DP's career, earning potential and pension over yours!

So... It's not like you're in the position of needing to make a choice between endangering your sole source of income, leaving your ill child with strangers.

Anyhow. I hope your meeting goes well.

Good luck.

What's the alternative? If you don't have a support network, don't want to use a sitter service, and want to hold down a job, then you are reliant on your employer being very flexible about your attendance. Not all employers can be that flexible. Not all employers need to be that flexible, there are plenty of people looking for work. Not everybody can get a job with an employer who is that flexible. So you make the harsh decision to prioritise your child rather than your career.

The alternative is for employers to be more flexible and fortunately many are. People aren't expecting to be paid if they are not working and many would just take annual leave so while it may be a bit inconvenient for the employer it usually isn't a great cost to them to be flexible. Being inflexible because you don't need to be and because there are plenty of people looking for work is not a good reason and there should be legislation to prevent inflexibility for the sake of it. Both parties need to be reasonable, not just the employee and I would argue that expecting people to find strangers who would be willing to look after a potentially very sick child is not reasonable.

Don’t most people build their tribe during maternity/adoption leave?

No...what if you live somewhere that doesn't have much in the way of baby groups? Or you have a high needs baby and struggle to even get out of the house? Or you have anxiety or struggle to make friends? What if you do have a support network but they all work themselves and can't take time off? Have you never seen any of the recent reports about how many people in society are lonely...not just the elderly but people of all ages.
I also have absolutely no support network. No family nearby, no friends in the city we live in, don't know neighbours and certainly wouldn't be comfortable leaving DS with them. Fortunately I don't work at the moment but I would love to, and would like to be able to start thinking about getting back into work once DS gets his nursery hours but stuff like this worries me so much, I'm not sure what people are supposed to do.

*So you don’t see anyone but each other and colleagues? No friends? No neighbours?

It may seem bizarre to you but my friends and neighbours all work for a living. I know some elderly people who don't work but do you really think it fair to ask them to look after a sick child who could infect them and make them ill?

So you don’t see anyone but each other and colleagues? No friends? No neighbours?

It may seem bizarre to you but my friends and neighbours all work for a living. I know some elderly people who don't work but do you really think it fair to ask them to look after a sick child who could infect them and make them ill?

@12carrots

I don't work in HR so may be wrong but I don't think an employer can insist on putting unplanned leave to care for your child down as sick leave.

Why are they not allowing you to use your leave?

In your situation unless you desperately need the additional income or you love the job I'd opt to be a SAHM, at least until your DS is in school.

Ignore the posters saying you should use a sitter service, develop a network etc. I have family and close friends nearby and would still never ask, or want them, to look after my child if they're unwell.