How often do people call their MIL?

[Geneva1995]

Just wondering how often people speak to their MIL on the phone. I speak to my mum every other day but I don’t feel the need to ring mil half as much and DP seems to think I’m unfair.
She rang last night and I missed her call so she rang DP and asked if she’d done something to upset me. I was in the shower!

We live 300 miles away so we don’t either of our parents often

Just to say - Likewise my DH does not phone my mum and dad at random to chat - I don’t know why there seems to be an expectation on women to do this by MILs. As soon as I pointed out to DH the fact he isn’t in normal contact with my parents, he recognised how ludicrous her issues with me not being in frequent contact with her are. It’s another version of “wifework” when you aren’t living with them in your daily life!

I call her occasionally to chat birthday and Christmas presents, we occasionally text about bands and life but I don't call. DH does, often, and I'm in close contact with my parents. That's how it should be.

I call mine, he calls his. I have never assumed responsibility for remembering birthdays/presents for his side either. Though I do buy Christmas gifts for the little ones.

I have been with my DH for 30 years, married for nearly 28 and I don't think I have ever phoned his parents or his siblings. Well apart from things like when we've been on the way to see them and he has asked me to call to update them on our ETA or something. But I have never just phoned for a chat. I find it hard enough to find anything to talk about when we visit. DH speaks to them several times a week but it has never even crossed my mind to call - they are his family, not mine.

Not called unless I've needed something only she knows the answer to or arranging transport with her because DH doesn't drive yet. I do text her a lot though amd say hi if DH is Skyping (different countries).

But i also dont ring my DM that much. We tect more than call/Skype. Mostly due to time differences etc.

I do find it odd that my DM would call her MIL and own DM daily and they lived in the same town and saw each other daily.

I never routinely called my MIL, just as DH does not routinely call my parents. Why would we? It would be weird. She wasn't my mother.

I'd have called her if I had something specific that needed to be discussed, but there weren't many of those.

Never, she lives 3 miles away. I’ll chat to her for 5 minutes if I answer the phone to her, but she usually has a specific question for DP so I pass the phone to him for that. She does sometimes ask those questions through me but 9 times out of 10 I don’t know the answer, & I’m not the family secretary so she is much better off talking to DP anyway.

I used to call my MIL every day sometimes we spoke 3/4 times a day. We also texted throughout the day too.

I miss talking to her, she died suddenly and out of blue 3 years ago. I still look at her number in my phone just wishing I could call it one more time and for her to answer.

I probably spoke to her more than I spoke to my own mum to be honest (speak to my mum nearly everyday now).

I was married for 17 years and called mil - 0 times
She called me 0 times
No idea if she ever had my number

Tbh. It never crossed my mind to

Including today zero times so far.

Never ever

At least twice a week, maybe more. We live in different continents now but even when we lived 10 minutes from each other we still spoke most days.

Never. We have a group chat with all of hubby's side and we all talk in there daily. But 1:1 maybe once every 2 weeks. But never really call.

Never

ExMIL I rang fairly regularly, more often than mother, we got on really well.

Soon to be MIL, I very rarely ring. We do have a family WhatsApp group though, and I do message on that. I occasionally ring MIL to discuss GFILs care.

I never phone her. No need to. We have a good relationship- no bad mil stories from me! I see her every couple of weeks or so so no need for extra phone calls. Dp arranges with her directly.

When she was alive, she used to call us every Sunday morning without fail.
She would speak to himself first and then if I was around, she would speak to me.
I loved my ma in law.

Never. I email her and FIL photos of the baby though. And we all Skype together. We get on great, it just wouldn't occur to me to ring her. My OH does that. When the baby is older I will probably help her ring.

It’s genuinely never occurred to me to call my mother in law. I do remind my husband to call her when he hasn’t for a while. And I’d find it bizarre if he was chatting on the phone to my mum too.

Never.

I get on with her fine and she's a perfectly nice person but I have no reason to ring her!
DH never rings my mum so why would I ring his?!

NEVER EVER. Ghastly woman.

I have three DIL. We never speak on the phone but we do text.

Literally never

Never. That's DH's job and TBF he does call her regularly.
We live abroad so I don't see her either. Result.

I ring her since she lost FiL. It just seems like the kind thing to do. We speak about once a fortnight. She's a lot more interested in our family now she's on her own. I've lost my mum, who was pretty crap anyway, so it's nice to have someone that's interested in the children. My DH doesn't really get on with her but duty calls once a week or so.

I'm v sad about all these responses, even though I understand them. Unfortunately males aren't often great at keeping in contact as I know from my son who's at university. He answers when I call, about twice a week, but never calls me or replies to messages.

I wonder how people who have sons on here but no daughters would feel about having such limited contact with their married children's family life. I'm not saying DiL's are responsible for resolving this, just that it's quite sad. No wonder older people are lonely and I wonder how many of them who haven't spoken to anyone for a week had sons rather than daughters.