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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Birthday card

243 replies

Heartburn888 · 18/10/2019 07:52

It’s my birthday today ♥️🎉

My partner has kindly bought me a card from him and from his two boys (my step sons) which was lovely and appreciated.

I haven’t got a card from my unborn child - am I just being a birthday drama queen or is my disappointment justified? I have asked him he said the supermarket didn’t have any cards from ‘bump’ but if that was me purchasing the card I’d of just got a happy birthday mummy card. I’m in the latter stages of pregnancy for context.

Aibu to go and buy one myself?

OP posts:
KatherineJaneway · 18/10/2019 09:57

Happy Birthday Flowers

Never heard of a card from 'bump' before but I did get a birthday card from my cats so not really that far out to think there might be a 'bump' card out there somewhere.

iklboo · 18/10/2019 10:03

Look, I didn't get one from my unfertilised eggs. Don't you think you're being a bit precious expecting one from your bump Grin

Happy birthday!

iklboo · 18/10/2019 10:04

what a weird thing to get upset about. If this is truly the only upsetting thing you have to worry about in your life then you are extremely lucky. I suggest you go and volunteer at a charity for homeless people or domestic violence victims and start getting a dose of reality love

You DO realise the OP is being lighthearted don't you?

ymf117 · 18/10/2019 10:05

Happy Birthday OP, some people are clearly jealous that you've had at least one shag in the last 9 months!

It's no wonder there's always posts about children getting bullied and so much depression in this country if these are the keyboard warrior cunty responses that "adults" post on here and on someone's birthday! Scroll on by if you haven't got anything nice to say!

It's about appreciating someone for who they are and the tiny human they are about to push out. Not really that hard to write and bump is it, especially as this is new territory for OP and not DH.

Ohnoherewego62 · 18/10/2019 10:05

Happy birthday from your bump!

YABU but you should still have a lovely birthday and enjoy the next exciting 6 weeks. Countdown is on and good luck for when the baby comes 🥰

SchadenfreudePersonified · 18/10/2019 10:08

Oh, for crying out loud . . . . .

I've seen it all now. Hmm

ChocolateChipMuffin2016 · 18/10/2019 10:13

I think lots of people on here are being really mean! I got a card signed from my son and bump when I was pregnant, I would have been about 34 weeks at that point. I also got a Mother’s Day card from son and bump (she was actually born the day before but DH was being organised as she was 2 weeks early!). So I don’t think you are being unreasonable.
Also all the people saying foetus, yes you’re technically right but when (if) you were pregnant and carried that baby for 7 months, did that baby not feel like a person to you? When you talked about the baby During pregnancy did you call it a foetus? Because I bloody didn’t! I would think anyone who called their baby a foetus while carrying them would be more weird than a mum wanting a card from their unborn child! Yes it twee and cringe but who gives a fuck! It’s a nice thing!
And to the woman who’s friend signed the card from bump and then the baby died, again, their baby still existed, even if it passed away.
Happy birthday OP! Hope you have a lovely day!

Bigregrets19 · 18/10/2019 10:14

You CAN buy ' from the bump cards' they were very popular when I worked in a card shop.
However it doesn't mean I'd want to receive one but that's personal choice.
Nothing wrong with wanting something like that.
My birthday was recently and my ds wrote their card from kids and added ' baby boy bump' which was his idea.

Enjoy your day

scubadive · 18/10/2019 10:14

I’ve never ever heard anything like this, pregnancy hormones maybe!

chocatoo · 18/10/2019 10:16

Yep, ridiculous.

notthemum · 18/10/2019 10:16

Sorry but you ABU. If baby was here totally different. Look forward to mother's day and birthday next year.
Best wishes

escapade1234 · 18/10/2019 10:20

I reckon that’s enough piling on the pregnant OP now folks.

OP, if this is upsetting you, ask Mumsnet HQ to delete it.

Pinkyyy · 18/10/2019 10:20

It's not a view. It is a foetus till it is born, then it's called a baby.

You might think that, I certainly don't. It doesn't go through some sort of magical metamorphosis when it leaves the mother's body. It's a baby.

Sux2buthen · 18/10/2019 10:20

Oh piss off with the nethuns bullshit.
That's a very strange kind of dig anyway, even without being boring.
I remember Mother's Day when I was barely pregnant with my first. I glared at my partner until flowers appeared from my non existent bump Grin but I know now I was highly unreasonable lol. I did make sure he got something on Father's Day so I was unreasonable but fair.
It's ok OP, being pregnant can make anyone a little over the top.
Happy birthday

Chloemol · 18/10/2019 10:24

Grow up

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 18/10/2019 10:26

I kind of understand it when there are other kids, ie to get them excited but otherwise I dont get this

MockingJay27 · 18/10/2019 10:30

It will be much more special to get your first card from him/her when their actually here. And well worth the wait :)
Happy Birthday

Blondebakingmumma · 18/10/2019 10:30

Hehehe you gave me a good giggle OP

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎉

Abouttimemum · 18/10/2019 10:32

Happy birthday but you’re being ridiculous 🤣

ThatMuppetShow · 18/10/2019 10:34

Happy Birthday OP, some people are clearly jealous that you've had at least one shag in the last 9 months!

yes, that is exactly why people think the OP is unreasonable, you got that spot on.

FFS...

MummytoCSJH · 18/10/2019 10:34

Happy birthday 🥳 I can see both sides of this, you haven't made a big fuss so it's not really a big deal either way. I do think people have been totally rude here for no reason! I also highly doubt that any of the posters calling your baby only a foetus called their own children that whilst they were in utero Hmm

Aprillygirl · 18/10/2019 10:39

YANBU, but only if you got him a birthday card from his sperm. So did you OP?

Seaweed42 · 18/10/2019 10:39

To me this says that you had created an expectation in your head about your partner. This isn't really about your birthday is it?
It was a sort of test for your partner.
You created a scenario in your own head about getting some sort of message about the baby from your partner in a card. You then started believing this to be true. Your partner, having no knowledge of this, did not proceed the way your mind thought he would. You end up feeling slighted, hard done by or not cared about. And that he (or whoever) has 'done' this to you.
I would think that there is some jealousy there that he might care for his sons 'more' than your bump? Is that where the disappointment is coming from? You are worried he mightn't love this baby like his other kids?
It might actually be a very good thing that your partner sees you for yourself as a separate adult. He loves you for being you, not because you are producing a child for him.

Original poster
Heartburn888 · 18/10/2019 10:40

I think some of the comments on here are disgusting. Especially about my partner to stick his hand up my vagina and write the card from the baby. Vile cretins. Wouldn’t dream of saying that to anyone, in RL or on the internet.

My foetus is my baby but those who aren’t carrying him won’t understand that, clearly. He’s my son and is existing and is living albeit inside my womb but he’s a baby and my baby at that. And I have a special connection to him like most mothers do to their unborn CHILD.

Glad to hear I’m not the only unreasonable one, pregnant or not - some people just don’t have the same heart as me. Which is fine because we are all different and some more miserable than others 😂✌🏼

@mumsnethq won’t do anything, I have contacted them previously about removing a post but they are more concerned about how the nasty posters will feel if the thread was removed, not about how the posters themselves makes the OP feel reading the vile derogatory comments. Now that is ludicrous.

OP posts:
Original poster
Heartburn888 · 18/10/2019 10:42

Seaweed what the fuck are you going on about? For you information I did actually ask my partner to get me a card from bump. Has nothing to do with his love for his sons at all and it’s ridiculous you would even suggest that.

OP posts: