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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave the children at home while they’re napping?

453 replies

ParkLife123 · 17/10/2019 16:43

Please hear me out.

House has a driveway outside, and then the street. On the other side of the street is a playground which my DS aged 4 loves. We go out there to play as often as we can but usually all four of us (me, DS, his younger brother aged 2, and newest addition our 5 month old baby).

I’m considering, in order to be able to spend a little quality 1:1 time with DS, taking him occasionally across the street while the other two nap. House is alarmed. I have baby monitors looking into their cots - the two year old cannot get out of his cot yet and in any case there’s also a baby gate at the door.

But really any sign of movement or noise from either of them and I get an alert on my phone.

The time it takes to get back home from the playground realistically is around 1 minute.

Is this a terrible idea? I’ve thought about the risks of them choking or something but also think that I would be able to get back home in the same time as it would take me to get to them if I was for example in the shower!

Does it sound fine or is it a risk no one else would take?

OP posts:
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CoastalWave · 17/10/2019 22:46

Christ no. And i'm quite chilled out. You chose to have 3 kids - thems the breaks as they say! Tough. Find a sitter or sit in the house with him and do some craft.

RolytheRhino · 17/10/2019 22:47

still unsure why across the road put the babies more at risk than at the bottom of the garden?

TBH, I never found the need to go to the bottom of the garden either when my baby was asleep inside at that age. Why would you? Not that it'd matter much if I did- my garden is on the small side anyway.

Sjl479 · 17/10/2019 22:47

Sounds fine to me

ShadowOnTheSun · 17/10/2019 22:47

OP. I was maybe 8 or so and my brother was maybe 2 (don't remember the exact ages, but he was little) when something happened. My mum was IN the house, in the bathroom, dealing with laundry. I was in the room with my kid brother. He was playing and jumping up and down on the bed. My mum didn't see this, I was a kid myself and didn't realize he shouldn't be doing it. One jump saw him flying further than expected, and he hit a sharp corner of a bedside cabinet with full force with his forehead.

There were fountains of blood, it was everywhere. Mum was in the room in 2 seconds. She was trying to cover the wound and phone the ambulance simultaneously. Everything ended up ok, he's 26 now and there's only a small scar to remind him of the accident.

But what would have happened if my mum had been in the playground with me? I appreciate it's near your house, but still? She would be collecting me (and that would take at least a minute), then we both would run to the house (another minute) and during all that time my toddler brother would bleed, fountains of blood, not a trickle. And what if the door would get stuck? The key would break? It probably wouldn't happen, but it might, you just never know. Why risk it?

Ok, your baby is not going to start jumping on the bed, but many different things can happen. Choking, fire. It's not worth it, OP. You better spend some 1:1 time with your boy downstairs and go to the playground with all your kids when they're awake.

SleeplessWB · 17/10/2019 22:49

I cannot believe people worry about going into the garden while their baby is sleeping... Do you sit and watch them sleep!?! I used to park mine by the back door in the buggy and go inside to do my housework...

itsahardknocklife87 · 17/10/2019 22:49

The McCanns thought this was okay and look how that turned out

RolytheRhino · 17/10/2019 22:51

Do you sit and watch them sleep!?!

I followed the SIDS guidance. What's so hard to believe about that?

ThatMuppetShow · 17/10/2019 22:52

The McCanns could hardly see their front door...

To leave the children at home while they’re napping?
ThatMuppetShow · 17/10/2019 22:53

RolytheRhino
if you have to watch your kids sleeping, WHEN do you get some sleep yourself?!? Have you got a night nanny or something?

RolytheRhino · 17/10/2019 22:55

if you have to watch your kids sleeping, WHEN do you get some sleep yourself?!?

You don't have to. You just have to be in the same room as them, so you can sleep when they sleep.

WTFdidwedo · 17/10/2019 22:58

itsahardknocklife87 I wasn't aware the McCanns were metres away from their house watching one child while listening to the others sleeping, or did the media all massively misreport that story?

Alexandra54 · 17/10/2019 22:58

I haven't RTFT, so someone else has probably already said this... But just in case they haven't:
What happens if something happened to you? (Hit by car etc)
No one would think that you may have other children at home alone, so they'd be left to fend for themselves until family were notified.
I wouldn't do this - not a chance.

AllFourOfThem · 17/10/2019 23:02

Surely if your youngest two are asleep then you are able to have one on one time anyway with your eldest? You don’t need to go out of the house for that and you can probably enjoy more focused time together if you are indoors anyway.

Aroundnabout1 · 17/10/2019 23:07

YABU. No way.

shitpark · 17/10/2019 23:09

@ParkLife123 Get a double buggy! FFS

duckii · 17/10/2019 23:10

@ParkLife123 Please don't do this. This can be seen as neglect. But how does your monitor work from that range? What if it stop working because you're too far away? What monitor did you have?? Just thinking about this sends shivers....

Original poster
ParkLife123 · 17/10/2019 23:15

@bluebeck and @crispysausagerolls gosh some people are dramatic. Such banal and imbecilic comments. Been watching a little too many TV soaps lately?

It wasn’t a stupid question. The level of disgust is ridiculous, bordering on humorous. It’s some of you who need help! As if you’ve never left the room your baby sleeps in Hmm Take the Moses basket into the toilet do you?

Some people are bizarre and also extremely dishonest on here. Don’t believe a word of it.

I’ll post the photo again for those that didn’t see it. And I’ll repeat this, so that you all don’t have to be up in arms over nothing - I won’t take my DS there alone! Time to relax now!

To leave the children at home while they’re napping?
OP posts:
sparkles07 · 17/10/2019 23:17

I probably would if it wasn't for the road. What if something happened to you on the road rushing back to get a child?

Huntlybyelection · 17/10/2019 23:22

Ok dokey OP Hmm

It's a pretty stupid question and you know it is.

Having the baby in the same room while they sleep isn't unusual or weird. When mine were wee and napped I took that time to either have a sit down, eat, watch Game of Thrones or sleep. If I had the older child with me then we would play with toys or read. Or watch Game of Thrones.

Every so often I'd nip out to the bin but would be out the house less than a minute. Or is go to the toilet, away less than a couple of minutes. That is totally different to buggering off to the park for half an hour with another child.

But you know that. Leaving two small children alone in a house is nuts.

Original poster
ParkLife123 · 17/10/2019 23:28

Again, not a stupid question when you consider the proximity. It’s like taking my DS into the back garden. Though I appreciate those who have quite rightly said if something happened people might not know I live in the closest house or have other DCs.

But definitely not a stupid question. And I know plenty of people have done it.

TBH it depends on the age but I find it bizarre that you would watch game of thrones with your “older child” Confused but then you KNOW that’s weird too, don’t you @Huntlybyelection

OP posts:
Rhi11 · 17/10/2019 23:31

Sarcasm over the wealth of your children... I'm surprised this hasn't happened if you leave your children unattended.

Xalia · 17/10/2019 23:33

I don't think other posters have noticed yet OP, that you're not even going to do it Wink
Just wanted to add that I don't think you would be able to relax anyway, so wouldn't be worth doing. Brew

Xalia · 17/10/2019 23:40

This thread's been the usual mumsnet ridiculousness.
Still waiting for the possibility of axe murderer sneaking in the back or don't you have any friends AT ALL who could watch the kiddies or what if a double decker bus took a wrong turn and crashed into your house.!! Wink

homeishere · 17/10/2019 23:44

Yeah do it. But when something happens to them don’t come crying to the national press.

Original poster
ParkLife123 · 17/10/2019 23:45

@Rhi11 your comment makes no sense but thanks for contributing

OP posts: