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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave the children at home while they’re napping?

453 replies

ParkLife123 · 17/10/2019 16:43

Please hear me out.

House has a driveway outside, and then the street. On the other side of the street is a playground which my DS aged 4 loves. We go out there to play as often as we can but usually all four of us (me, DS, his younger brother aged 2, and newest addition our 5 month old baby).

I’m considering, in order to be able to spend a little quality 1:1 time with DS, taking him occasionally across the street while the other two nap. House is alarmed. I have baby monitors looking into their cots - the two year old cannot get out of his cot yet and in any case there’s also a baby gate at the door.

But really any sign of movement or noise from either of them and I get an alert on my phone.

The time it takes to get back home from the playground realistically is around 1 minute.

Is this a terrible idea? I’ve thought about the risks of them choking or something but also think that I would be able to get back home in the same time as it would take me to get to them if I was for example in the shower!

Does it sound fine or is it a risk no one else would take?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
cheesydoesit · 17/10/2019 16:53

It's completely different to being in the shower or at the bottom of a large garden. Have 1:1 time with DS when your other two children are being babysat.

Areyoufree · 17/10/2019 16:54

It's a funny one. I used to live in a small, terraced house. We were good friends with our neighbours, and would sometimes sit in their garden with the video baby monitor on. That felt okay - we were only a few metres from our back door. But, moving inside always felt like a step too far - we were technically not in our own house. Even though the houses were small, and we could realistically be further from her bedroom in a big house, it felt wrong to me, and I used to insist that we move her upstairs into their room, or we all move back into our house.

Logically, it's fine. In reality, I wouldn't do it.

usersouthcoast · 17/10/2019 16:54

Ask your four year old nursery school teachers what they think? No?
There's your answer.

Her0utdoors · 17/10/2019 16:55

Yes, totally deranged idea.
Since when has a 4 year old left the park in a minute?
Leaving a child under 6 months to sleep in a separate room increases their risk of SIDS.

Cleverplayonwords · 17/10/2019 16:55

If you're constantly watching the monitor it's not exactly one to one time with your older child anyway.

Put the little ones to sleep in double buggy and bring them over.

I understand your reasoning as actually we sit in our garden with the monitor when ds is asleep, possibly the same distance but this just feels completely different.

Lunafortheloveogod · 17/10/2019 16:56

Nope I couldn’t and I don’t know any who would say it’s ok. If the eldest throws a tantrum cause he’s just got on the slide/swing/whatever and you’ve to manually haul him off n across a road to then unlock doors n get to a distressed toddler/baby it’ll take a lot more than a minute.

And just because the 2year old hasn’t figured their escape plan just yet doesn’t mean they won’t tomorrow. That could be a head first dive the first time. Couldn’t they both be put in a buggy/sling for the nap at that time, ideally if you had a double buggy to pop them both in and have them sleep at the sidelines.

Sunflowersok · 17/10/2019 16:56

Absolutely no 100%. You need to be in the home OP, your sleeping children could easily choke or wake up and put something dangerous in their mouths. Anything is possible without you there. You’d be questioned by it if the police ever found out or someone reported you, you’d certainly have a visit from them.

Happyspud · 17/10/2019 16:57

I am ALWAYS the one saying go for it on these types of posts but absolutely not in this situation. Don’t like that at all, especially the 5mth old with unreliable sleep habits (they change weekly at that age). It’s not the same as your garden with a monitor on hand. A small baby roaring crying for even 10mins is very uncomfortable:(

ActualHornist · 17/10/2019 16:57

I wouldn't with the two year old. If it was just the 5 month old I would, or I'd consider it. Not much different from leaving them asleep in their pram outside the back door while you take a phone call upstairs, for example.

LagunaBubbles · 17/10/2019 16:57

Seriously no I wouldn't even consider this and I'm a very laid back parent.

Applesanbananas · 17/10/2019 16:57

I too would report you if I knew you were doing this. Please dont . It's a very, very , very bad idea.

FizzyIce · 17/10/2019 16:57

It’s only across the road and if you have a monitor on it can’t be worse than playing down the end of the garden

Blindandfrozen · 17/10/2019 16:59

What if you got hit by a car crossing the road? Or your four year old ran off?

adaline · 17/10/2019 17:00

It’s only across the road and if you have a monitor on it can’t be worse than playing down the end of the garden

The road part is key here, don't you think?

Bluntness100 · 17/10/2019 17:00

Seriously if something happened they'd take all your kids off you for neglect. You simply can't do this, what on Earth are you thinking.

lottiegarbanzo · 17/10/2019 17:00

When things go wrong, they all go wrong at the same time.

So, the day your 4yo gets stuck at the top of some play equipment, or there are bigger children in the way who won't move, is the day you realise your alarm's been going repeatedly but you hadn't heard it, and your 2yo climbs out of the cot for the first time, then goes head-first over the stair-gate.

Cleverplayonwords · 17/10/2019 17:00

And actually 5 months is too little to leave to sleep alone in the house. I'm not one that made sure I was in the room at all times until 6 months but I didn't start going into garden until DS was 9 months old and slept reliably etc.

SunshineCake · 17/10/2019 17:02

Stupid arguments for doing stuff like this. Being in your garden is not the same as being across the road with two other children. In the garden you could leave the two older ones for a small amount of time to rescue the baby as presumably your garden is locked and safe.

bloodywhitecat · 17/10/2019 17:02

Having had to resuscitate a child who went from fine, to choking to blue and non-responsive in the blink of an eye? No. I wouldn't. You underestimate how long it takes for a child to go blue.

gamerchick · 17/10/2019 17:02

It's not something happening to them, it's something happening to you that's the issue. If you weren't able to tell ambulance that there were small kiddies home alone then how long would they be on their own?

It does sound ideal though having a park close by.

DanielRicciardosSmile · 17/10/2019 17:03

what do people with large gardens do... Never go to the bottom of the garden while the baby naps...?
Not much difference surely?

Presumably they don't lock and alarm their house and deal with traffic to get back in to said baby.

Minai · 17/10/2019 17:03

Come on, you know you can’t do this. Have some quality time one on one with ds when the 2 little ones are asleep in the house and then go to the park afterwards.

Bluetrews25 · 17/10/2019 17:03

Why can't you have 1:1 time downstairs while the others are asleep?

ThisLittlePiggyWentTo · 17/10/2019 17:05

I would if it was just the two year old to be honest. But not with the baby too. Logically I see where you're going so I dont think you should be vilified for this, you're clearly just trying to make time for your eldest. But they are two small ones you're leaving and it just doesn't sit right. It will be hard for a while spending time individually but as someone in the same position (but further down the line) as you it will get easier, honestly!

PlasticPatty · 17/10/2019 17:05

No, don't do that, OP.