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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave the children at home while they’re napping?

453 replies

ParkLife123 · 17/10/2019 16:43

Please hear me out.

House has a driveway outside, and then the street. On the other side of the street is a playground which my DS aged 4 loves. We go out there to play as often as we can but usually all four of us (me, DS, his younger brother aged 2, and newest addition our 5 month old baby).

I’m considering, in order to be able to spend a little quality 1:1 time with DS, taking him occasionally across the street while the other two nap. House is alarmed. I have baby monitors looking into their cots - the two year old cannot get out of his cot yet and in any case there’s also a baby gate at the door.

But really any sign of movement or noise from either of them and I get an alert on my phone.

The time it takes to get back home from the playground realistically is around 1 minute.

Is this a terrible idea? I’ve thought about the risks of them choking or something but also think that I would be able to get back home in the same time as it would take me to get to them if I was for example in the shower!

Does it sound fine or is it a risk no one else would take?

OP posts:
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8
shitpark · 17/10/2019 21:53

Can't you just take your napping children in a double buggy. That's what I used to do, and countless other parents.

Original poster
ParkLife123 · 17/10/2019 21:53

Thanks @ToodlesnOOdleSAR for another logical reply Smile Glad to see some sensible people on here who don’t think it was an utterly ludicrous suggestion!

Yes I could probably get some longer range baby monitors that aren’t dependent on WiFi, once baby is 6m, but I probably won’t risk it now. Probably wouldn’t even need long range ones TBH!

OP posts:
Original poster
ParkLife123 · 17/10/2019 21:56

Yes I could take them all, toddler napping in buggy, newborn in her babybjorn napping up against my chest. But I won’t bother at nap time now. Far better to take them all when my toddler can enjoy the playground with his brother I think.

OP posts:
Original poster
ParkLife123 · 17/10/2019 21:56

Oh @shitpark I don’t have a double buggy

OP posts:
FiddlesticksAkimbo · 17/10/2019 21:58

Anything could happen

Bluemascara4 · 17/10/2019 22:01

Please don't do this.

NoProblem123 · 17/10/2019 22:03

I’d also be tempted, but ultimately wouldn’t do it.
Pop baby in buggy - short walk, then stop at park worry free 🤷‍♀️

Slappadabass · 17/10/2019 22:04

I definitely wouldn't do this, I'd be too panicked constantly, very bad idea imo. Swings and a slide in the garden, or quality time doing arts and crafts or baking is a much better idea and go to the park once you can all go together.

Squirrelplay · 17/10/2019 22:05

IF that picture is similar to your set up and your house is even closer to the park than this, then I would totally do this OP.

I live rurally on a big site and explore all around our garden/lane with elder DD while DD2 naps. I dont have a video monitor just a normal one. I'm always aware/can always see the house but I probably didn't start doing this until the baby was closer to a year.

I'm amazed people hover around their 6 month old for every nap - excessive as can be IMO and I definitely didn't do that, but the guidelines have to err on the side of caution.

Use your common sense on this one, the hysteria on here is actually laughable. As if your house will spontaneously combust the second you walk outside the door Grin.

Aprillygirl · 17/10/2019 22:12

I think I'd feel a bit weird doing it personally, but I wouldn't judge anyone else for it, especially as it is for the lovely reason that you want to spend quality time with your eldest. I'd say if you feel comfortable doing so, go for it OP.

Darkbendis · 17/10/2019 22:19

OP, to answer your question, we have a small park about 50 m from the house (so less than 30 seconds walk), on the same side, so no street to cross. DD, who is 6 now, is allowed to go there on her own in theory, in practice she has always been there with her 11 y o brother or with other child(ren), as she doesn't like to play on her own.

bluebeck · 17/10/2019 22:26

I suspect OP will be doing this regardless.

YAB Utterly unreasonable and negligent if you do this. I can barely believe some of the stuff I read on here sometimes.

crispysausagerolls · 17/10/2019 22:27

DD, who is 6 now, is allowed to go there on her own in theory

What the fuck?!

stophuggingme · 17/10/2019 22:32

You are attention seeking. You already know the “answer” but then again you were stupid enough to ask the question.

You chose to have three kids. Look after them all appropriately.

WTFdidwedo · 17/10/2019 22:35

crispysausagerolls very common around here for 6 year olds to play in a cul de sac park or on the street outside the house. I'm not sure why you're being so dramatic.

Stuckinanutshell · 17/10/2019 22:36

The difference is no one would know. If you collapsed at the park or were hit by a car etc no one would think to check your house for your other children. Sounds outlandish? My friend who is 38 had a ‘funny turn’ and passed out at a park. Her children were taken with her to hospital. No one thought to ask if she had other kids she had randomly left at home - why would they ask that?

You must always think of the worst case scenario in situations like this. If all was well is it unreasonable what you’re suggesting? No. But there are a billion things that could go wrong and as paranoid as it may seem you need to plan for those insane sounding disasters.

You’re not in the house or on the property. Anything could happen. Don’t risk it.

Spidey66 · 17/10/2019 22:39

Not a parent, but aside from the road, what would be sent different to you being in the back garden with the older child?

But like I said, I'm not a parent.

Spidey66 · 17/10/2019 22:39

Rogue sent there.

ThatMuppetShow · 17/10/2019 22:40

Blimey, if social services is called and concerned every time a parent leaves the front door when a baby is asleep inside - back door is completely fine apparently - they must be very busy indeed.

So you can't take the rubbish out, can't have a chat with a neighbour, can't go in the garage?

Yes right, some posters are just here for a fight, nothing to do with common sense or real life.

Douberry · 17/10/2019 22:43

Very bad idea sorry. Anything could happen in that time. There's no excuse for leaving a 2 year old and 5 month old all alone in the house. It's very different to being in your garden. Don't do it OP.

RolytheRhino · 17/10/2019 22:43

Blimey, if social services is called and concerned every time a parent leaves the front door when a baby is asleep inside - back door is completely fine apparently - they must be very busy indeed.

Who are all these people who need to nip across the road leaving their baby-at peak SIDS age-asleep alone inside? I honestly never found the need.

OP, could you not do some crafts in the house with him?

ThatMuppetShow · 17/10/2019 22:43

The difference is no one would know. If you collapsed at the park or were hit by a car etc no one would think to check your house for your other children.

I am confused. If you collapse at home - or fall in the stairs, smash your head in the bathroom or other - no one will know either. Do we need a quota of minimum 2 adults to care for children just in case something happens?

And if the mum is being run over, wouldn't the baby be safer in his cot than carried by his mum?

Point is, if you are looking for the ultimate safest option, don't have kids.

ThatMuppetShow · 17/10/2019 22:44

Who are all these people who need to nip across the road leaving their baby-at peak SIDS age-asleep alone inside? I honestly never found the need.

still unsure why across the road put the babies more at risk than at the bottom of the garden?

Douberry · 17/10/2019 22:45

YAB Utterly unreasonable and negligent if you do this. I can barely believe some of the stuff I read on here sometimes.

^ and this 100%. It is negligent.

cricketmum84 · 17/10/2019 22:46

Nope nope and a million times nope.

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