private school costs - can average earners afford these?

[coffeeforone]

On the back of a recent thread taking about very cheap private school it got me wondering. If we pay £1500 per month for nursery fees, as most parents in the area do, can we afford private school long term? The fees mentioned in the thread were so much less than this.

Is it an option to consider if we don't get offered our top 3 choices of state primary and are not happy with the school the LA offer?

Currently looking at schools for DS next September, I don't think any of the parents at DS's nursery are considering private education, and neither are us? But I'm now thinking why not? I have done no research at all on independent school costs, I just thought they were well out of the reach of average earners, maybe I'm wrong?

I can just about afford it, the monthly fees work out less than what I pay for nursery. However, my parents have offered to pay for extra-curricular and uniform. I don’t think I’d be able to afford fees as well as everything that comes with it. I definitely wouldn’t be looking at a prep school if I had 2 children though.

We have always put a thousand a month in a school account

I would love to be able to do something like this, but 1K a month just isn't possible for most people who are average earners.

Also worth checking if there's a sibling discount at the private.

At ours, first child was 100% fees, second 75%, third 50% etc.

It's basically about the maths and the bigger picture

You need to look at the costs for each year up to y6 as fees go up. Plus wraparound costs, longer school hols etc

So eg when you have one in y6, one in Y4, two musical instruments, two lots of out of school swimming lessons, any after school care needed, holiday club if needed. How many years would you be paying for two before eldest is off to secondary?

Could you pay it for those double years? From net income? What if VAT changes?

Are there bursaries, would you qualify?

It's often doable for one child but for two or more you need quite a lot of salary tbh

really the key question is how are you defining average earners?

Maybe average was the wrong word - apologies. It's quite difficult to define as we live on the outskirts of London and I commute in so everything is inflated. Our salary figures may seem relatively high on paper, but definitely not by London standards and we are no better off (standard of living wise), to those friends and family in other parts of the country both who earn, around £25-£35k each full time. That's now I'd define average - 'comfortable to go on holiday each year but not rich'.

If nursery fee's are easily manageable then you can afford it.
If nursery fee's are a struggle maybe you can't afford it.
It won't be just fee's you want your DC to fit in with the lifestyle of their peers.
Some days I wished I could afford boarding school.

Both our kids going to private school round here would be in the region of £35k for the year incl. add ons.
While we could just about afford that it would mean tightening on everything else from holidays to days/evenings out etc and not worth it to me. I'd rather put money in an ISA for them each month and help them with Uni fees, starting a business, travel or whatever when they're young adults.

If you are paying £1500 a month in nursery fees then yes it's possible with some buts!

My DC goes to a lovely independent that's just over £1000 a month. This will rise a bit over the next few years and does not include extras. We don't earn very big salaries; a bit over £50k combined and we live in SE. However, it's only one child and we have a smaller than average mortgage payment I would think. We don't go abroad on holiday.

Private does not always mean good. I do have one friend who sacrificed everything for her child to attend a private school, end result was not worth it and she lives in an unbelievably grim area of the city we live in an awful house with little money.

Educational outcomes include parental attitude and natural raw talent as well as the school. Our DS went to primary and secondary schools that did not have great results and had a really deprived estate as their main catchments, I know because I was involved with a study of our local area in relation to a food project I was involved with. His friends were attending this school, he went and got all A and A* for his GCSE results. Middle class mates were horrified at the time and bussed their dc to leafy comp a few miles away.

DH went to a public school, the fees when we looked out of curiosity a couple of years ago were almost 25k per annum. My friends child as a genuinely poor kid at a private school just never fitted in and as much as that may leave a bad taste in mouths it was just how it was. They could never join in with conversations about holidays and never did anything as no spare money. She made a choice that socially made her child suffer though she obviously had their best interest at heart.

As Adversecamber says above - it's not so much paying for the child to be at school, it's when their friends all have ponies, two skiing holidays a year plus three months at 'the family villa' and you are scraping together for a fortnight in Scarborough. Your child becomes the 'poor one' and, yes, may be totally accepted and befriended and all that, but do you want your child growing up with that hanging over them?

I had a friend at school (state comp) with very wealthy parents who'd contemplated sending her to private school but didn't want to get into a 'who's got the biggest holiday home' competition with other parents. They were a great family and she was one of my best friends. Very grounded.

No. They go up yearly - if you start at reception that's a huge commitment. If you have a second child you ought to do the same then it is out of reach.
Then uniform, trips etc all add up to a lot

We're paying £3.5k pm for 2 DC both in prep. We are both on low 6 figure salaries and with the extra £800 pm we pay in wrap around it's affordable but only just. It's important to factor in that you will still need to pay for wraparound when they are in prep as the school day isn't as long as your working day, and the uniforms are expensive, DC have c. 4 different sets of branded sports kit, the tracksuits alone are £100. Add to that the £250 x 2 per term lunch fee from Y3 onwards and it does start to add up. We were paying £2.5k pm in nursery fees easily, but definitely feel the extra costs now.

'who's got the biggest holiday home' competition with other parents.'

Strange we never experience this

I never considered (or particularly approved of) private education, but once we got used to paying nursery fees, realised it was affordable. My daughter went to the local (OFSTED good) school for reception and Yr1 and it soon became apparent that as an 'average' child she would get less 'overlooked' at a private school.
Moved her for yr2 and it was the best thing we ever did.
We don't have wrap around care costs as there is either homework or sports clubs to go to included. Lunch included. Don't pay for extra ballet, swimming, music etc. as all included as part of curriculum. Good holiday club on site, obviously extra, but fits with routine.

Lots of DD's friends won't be staying for the secondary part of the school as the fees go up to around £6/7k a term, but they have had such a good base / study skills / attitude to learning that they'll do fine wherever they go.

We paid high nursery fees but

• we saved in advance of maternity leave so we had a cushion
• we accepted that we would have little disposable income while our children were little. During this time we basically spent money on only essentials.
• We put off doing any work to the house while both DC were at nursery

This was unsustainable as a long term plan. Most people paying nursery fees were in the same position as us.

If you can pay nursery fees and still afford the standard of living that you want, I suspect you are not an "average" earner.

Most private schools with nurseries will guarantee the same fee from nursery right through to the end. That’s how average earners can afford it. If your child starts after nursery that guarantee is no longer in place so you may need to rely on burseries. Having said that, however, it depends on your lifestyle how many kids you have and the fee itself. I know people on 40k household income who have been able to afford full 12k fees for one child and have arranged burseries for the second, but I also know people on 60-100k household incomes who can only afford the fees for one child.

Just to add, I was really worried we'd be the 'poor family' and everyone would be loaded. Not at all. Most families there just normal / slightly above average earners that skip other luxuries to afford it.

Depends. What do you earn? What sort of lifestyle? Mortgage on house? Willing to sacrifice some things? Our child’s school per term is about £4500. We have another child who goes in next year, live in London. School fees do go up and uniform alone costs £500. Then there are trips starting in year 4. And not just local trips, overseas, fortnightly trips. All adds up. If you feel you can sustain this then perhaps.

I think if there's any way that you think it could be a struggle you shouldn't do it.
Bear in mind the extra costs of wraparound care if needed; extracurricular activities; music/dance lessons if your child wants to do this etc.
Think about what would happen if it became too much of a struggle. Would you have to take your child out and send them to a state school later which might be a difficult adjustment?
What happens if you have another child? Could you afford two lots of fees? Would it be fair to pay for one child and not the other?

I think the standard of state primary education has risen so much that there is no great advantage of an independent primary over state. The main difference is class size which is beneficial for middle/lower achievers or those quiet types who might get lost in a larger class.
I'd stick with state school for primary and reassess the child's situation and family finances for secondary. Also if the child doesn't seem to flourish in the state primary you could move during the primary years as well.

I think if you have just about enough money to afford the fees then you'd be better off educating the child in the state sector and using the money saved for any extracurricular activities they might like to do or for tutoring should your child need this. Better than spending the money on fees and then not being able to afford any extras.

Average earners can't no, but it doesn't sound like you're actually average earners.
I was going to mention that you obviously don't get any contribution to school fees like you do nursery fees such as tax credits, UC, vouchers or tax free childcare but it sounds like you're on higher wages than qualify for that help anyway.
Average London wages are almost double the national average with wages outside big cities (Birmingham, Edinburgh etc) still averaging low to mid 20's.

The other thing I've known people do, is use the money they would save on fees to move to the catchment of great state or grammar school.

Outskirts of London makes it less likely to be affordable. Most of the private schools are full or approaching it, and charge a lot more than the very unusually low fees in the other thread.

I know of one near us which charges around £6k/year, but it is very small, with very limited curriculum and does not offer any of the extras I would expect from a good prep school. It is also a strongly religious school, which will not appeal to a lot of people.

By contrast, we pay around £5k/term at prep and closer to £8k/term at secondary.

No i dont think its doable....Im constantly reminded that whilst nursery is expensive, older kids cost a lot more than toddlers. The additional add ons with a school- let alone a private school would add more and more pressure. Personally I dont think a private primary school is worth stretching yourself over, possibly a private secondary school.

For average earners (around £27kpa) this will be pretty much unaffordable unless they have extremely low housing costs. Two people earning the national average wage would only be bringing home £3500 - £4000 per month and with £1000+ housing costs being typical plus, with both working, the need to run two cars etc you would literally have to cut out everything even to afford these cheapest private schools fee at reception for a single child.

So no - most average earners in the UK would not really be able to afford private schools.

I only put my son into a private school when it became clear that he wasn’t able to cope with his large, inner city secondary school (significantly smaller class sizes made all the difference).

We just about managed (he didn’t get to go on the 5 grand trip to Japan!) for the three years we needed, but wouldn’t have been able to sustain it long term.

Most kids from a prep will be moving on to another private (or a grammar, if you have those locally). It’s much more common to do state primary/private secondary than what you are considering, so if you do explore preps, do consider friendships and ask where kids generally move on to - I suspect prep to state could be a massive shock to the system for most kids.