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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To admit my fate, wuss out and not do the presentation?

275 replies

GinAndBubbles · 14/10/2019 01:06

TLDR: I physically hate presenting / speaking in groups. Should I cancel interview for amazing role as it requires 25 min presentation to directors?

That sums it up really! Until around 14 I was super confident and in all the drama clubs etc. One day I volunteered to get in front of class and I was laughed at for blushing. Since then I’ve not been able to be ‘all eyes on me’. It got so bad I couldn’t even have happy birthday sang to me in a restaurant. Many physical symptoms too (don’t want to TMI!).

I’ve managed somehow to get round this in my career to date, most recently by being honest and avoiding presenting. I’m fine in a large meeting if speaking is on my terms - put me on the spot and I basically die (slight exaggeration but feels like that at the time).

So currently in a role I despise and want to leave hourly. Have an interview Tuesday for a Head of role that is perfect, other than presenting it’s genuinely something I could excel in.

I was only told of the presentation element on Friday so have worked all weekend to pull a PowerPoint together - they want me to answer 2 role specific questions in 25 minutes.

The slides are ace, my content is great... I’m just a quivering mess when I think about delivering it.

AIBU to cancel? If you think yes, how the hell do I get round this Blush?!

Extra info: I’ve personally paid £1,000+ on courses, hypnotherapy etc to try and rid me of this complex - no success.

I also know I cannot bear my current role (whole other thread as to why 🙈 - but legit reasons as toxic place), so will leave in the coming months (or weeks). At my level there aren’t that many roles that come up, so other than taking the plunge into contracting I’d be looking at substantial pay cut... I’m the main earner in household so that bring a whole new host of issues.

Fully appreciate the masses aren’t fans of public speaking and I’d love to just ‘get over myself’, but it truly physically and mentally affects me... I’m stuck (and freaking out!)

OP posts:
littlebillie · 16/10/2019 16:49

I am the same the best advice I got was to imagine you are standing centre stage with an audience of 1000 while you practice. I felt really sick and found it hard.

On the day there was 30 and I was fine. Your head and heart know what you need to do trust in yourself - good luck 😉

Babysharkdododododododododod · 16/10/2019 19:17

Well done! Please keep us posted! Be proud of yourself xx

Sewbean · 16/10/2019 19:24

1.5 hrs? Wow that is long. Well done on getting in there, doing your thing and keeping your cool for all that time. They must be seriously considering you or they would not have given you so much of their time.

iMatter · 16/10/2019 19:32

Only just seen this OP.

Well done - you are amazing 👏

Wherearemycrayons · 16/10/2019 19:35

Well done OP! Fingers crossed for the job!!

Pepperwand · 16/10/2019 20:26

I just want to say that you should be so very proud of yourself. Pushing yourself to do things that scare you makes you grow as a person. Whatever happens, you have done amazingly and I think both you and your DP sound fantastic.

GinAndBubbles · 16/10/2019 20:44

❤️

OP posts:
marmiteloversunite · 16/10/2019 21:03

Is it weird that I feel proud of a stranger on the internet? I do though. I am proud of you. My DD2 has social anxiety so I understand how difficult that was for you. Well done!!

chickenninja · 16/10/2019 21:18

Well done Gin, I need to be more like you and face my fears. Really hope you get that job.

Rivkka · 16/10/2019 21:22

Love a happy, positive thread. Well done Wine

Luaa · 16/10/2019 21:24

Well done! I hope you get it, but even if you don't, that's a huge achievement!

ladygracie · 17/10/2019 08:17

Well done for doing it. You are awesome.

Mymindblown · 17/10/2019 20:18

Have you heard anything yet OP? How long do you expect to wait until you know the outcome?

GinAndBubbles · 17/10/2019 20:48

No news yet; but they did say end of this week or early next week as several internal and external candidates.

In ‘normal’ interview situations I’m super confident and no qualms at all... so I know this was far from a good performance so genuinely not expecting it to go further.

... that hasn’t stopped me from refreshing my emails every 5 minutes though lol!!

After the hubby you lot will be the first to know 😊

OP posts:
WhoKnewBeefStew · 17/10/2019 21:06

Might be a bit late but go and see your go,
tell him/her exactly what you've put in your OP and ask for something that calms the nerves. I was you, my gp gives me diazepam and 'wow' it's the dogs! Allows me to present the necessary and do it well and without the really bad nerves. I'm still anxious, but it's manageable.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 17/10/2019 21:07

GP not go

AlpacaGoodnight · 18/10/2019 16:05

Well done for going through with it!

TiredyMcTired · 18/10/2019 18:31

Not that I’m over invested Wink but I keep checking the thread to see of you’ve got the job, any news?

Euromillsplz · 18/10/2019 19:12

Sorry, I haven't rtft yet but my God I'm having thos exact dilemma at the moment and have suffered badly for as long as I can remember. I've only recently realised they're panic attacks but have always felt like I'm literally about to have a heart attack my heart pounds so fast it's almost one permanent best. Frightening!
So I've after reading a couple of posters on here, I can't tear myself away from reading these reviews for propanolol (i think its called)- beta blockers. Thanks whoever's posted that, i already feel like my life has been changed!

www.drugs.com/comments/propranolol/for-performance-anxiety.html

Euromillsplz · 18/10/2019 19:16

one permanent beat

CatteStreet · 18/10/2019 19:20

Whether or not you get this job, you did this and you will always have that experience of your courage and professionalism to draw on.

Good luck in getting away from your current role, either via this job or another way.

SnugglySnerd · 18/10/2019 19:22

So do I Tiredy!

fuckyouelsa · 18/10/2019 19:27

Good luck!

managedmis · 18/10/2019 19:30

Huge congratulations, really well done.

It must have been so tough to do, but it's so worth it!

For the past 15 years I. E. since school really, I've avoided giving presentations and it's probably held me back.

You don't have to be an amazing public speaker, you really don't. Barely anyone is. You just have to get the information across. It's so rewarding!

Good job!

managedmis · 18/10/2019 19:34

Relevant story from last week at work :

We have these huge Global Town Hall meetings which are basically 600 people in a room with folk skyping in etc.

A woman from our office spoke and I swear you could see she was nervous. I have felt how she looked. She even said 'wow' when she stood on the stage (yes, there's an actual stage). I could she she was overwhelmed. And so could everyone else. She was so close to running from the stage but she didn't. People smiled at her jokes, beared with her and clapped like maniacs when she finished. Because we are all human, no one's infallible and you have to have a first time to do everything. No-one is born public speaking!