To admit my fate, wuss out and not do the presentation?

[GinAndBubbles]

TLDR: I physically hate presenting / speaking in groups. Should I cancel interview for amazing role as it requires 25 min presentation to directors?

That sums it up really! Until around 14 I was super confident and in all the drama clubs etc. One day I volunteered to get in front of class and I was laughed at for blushing. Since then I’ve not been able to be ‘all eyes on me’. It got so bad I couldn’t even have happy birthday sang to me in a restaurant. Many physical symptoms too (don’t want to TMI!).

I’ve managed somehow to get round this in my career to date, most recently by being honest and avoiding presenting. I’m fine in a large meeting if speaking is on my terms - put me on the spot and I basically die (slight exaggeration but feels like that at the time).

So currently in a role I despise and want to leave hourly. Have an interview Tuesday for a Head of role that is perfect, other than presenting it’s genuinely something I could excel in.

I was only told of the presentation element on Friday so have worked all weekend to pull a PowerPoint together - they want me to answer 2 role specific questions in 25 minutes.

The slides are ace, my content is great... I’m just a quivering mess when I think about delivering it.

AIBU to cancel? If you think yes, how the hell do I get round this ?!

Extra info: I’ve personally paid £1,000+ on courses, hypnotherapy etc to try and rid me of this complex - no success.

I also know I cannot bear my current role (whole other thread as to why 🙈 - but legit reasons as toxic place), so will leave in the coming months (or weeks). At my level there aren’t that many roles that come up, so other than taking the plunge into contracting I’d be looking at substantial pay cut... I’m the main earner in household so that bring a whole new host of issues.

Fully appreciate the masses aren’t fans of public speaking and I’d love to just ‘get over myself’, but it truly physically and mentally affects me... I’m stuck (and freaking out!)

I was in a similar position 5 years ago where I was in a post that I hated. My interview for my new role involved a presentation and nearly backed out. What kept me going was the prospect of the new role and how it would be a better work life balance for my family. I also practised in the mirror a few times. I visualised it as a meeting rather than a presentation.

I’ve now been on other side as an interviewer- we expect people to be nervous (it shows you care), I don’t expect it to be word perfect (being overconfident can actually be a put off) and want people to do well.

Good luck

I agree with practice, practice, practice. Slow breathing and find a point in the room to focus on, like a bottle of water or a mark on the table.

I’m scared of heights. I recently climbed onto the roof to try and clear a blockage in the guttering. I just panicked and was overcome with fear. I knew I wouldn’t be able to climb down, but I also knew that if I didn’t climb down I’d have to call the fire brigade which would be way worse, so in the end I just had to suck it up and force myself to climb down and it was actually ok. Not as scary as I thought it was going to be.

Good luck with the interview!! You can do it!

I’m a lecturer. I stand up and give talks to rooms of up to 150 for 9 hours a week. In the early days I was terrified until someone told me to act. Pretend you are a person who is Brilliant at presenting, and act like you are. It really worked - I’ve won awards for my teaching!

Op I can assure you they want you to do well. When someone is giving a presentation in an interview I'm rooting for them on the other side of the table.
However, I've only had to give presentations in interviews where presenting is a big part of the job (in fairness all of them). Are you sure this isn't the case for this job?

The worst presentations are the ones agree someone is trying to wing it without any prep. One of the most impressive presentations I saw was a lady who fell apart near the beginning with nerves but the room and composed herself and came back and gave a good presentation. I was really impressed by the bravery that took!

I'm sure you can do it. Good luck

*Agree = where!

Beta blockers - Propanalol. Doctor can give you a low dose to take an hour before your interview. Life changing for me, I used to basically have panic attacks whilst presenting, shaking, dry mouth etc. Now I do it with ease,

You've got to go for this OP. Keep thinking about leaving your current role to give yourself that boost. You've had some excellent advice on this thread about how to cope. I'd add to that to remember to take a breath in between sentences so you don't rush too much. You know your stuff, your slides are excellent, you've got this. Good luck!

I used to be the same and now I present regularly as part of my job. It is a change of mindset. You have to really stop telling yourself how scary or bad it will be and just keep reassuring yourself that it will be fine and nothing major. Be as casual about it in your head as you can. Trick yourself. Become someone else who isn’t scared. If others can do it, so can you. Also, take full notes to read in case you freeze. I write out my presentations word for word so I know I can read if I get stuck. It only has to go well once or twice for the whole fear thing to start improving. Don’t not go. If you can sit down and talk to them on the level, it won’t be that daunting. Remember they are the guests at your party. You are the expert of your presentation because only you know what you want to communicate to them. They will be willing you to do well. Best of luck.

Echo propanalol: get to your doctor today and get some. While you will still feel nervous, all of the physical attributes (pounding heart, sweaty palms, shaking) will be under control. I regularly have to public speak for my job and they are literally the difference between not being able to and acing it.

You can also get then online but you won't have time for that if the interview and presentation is tomorrow. Good Luck! x

You have all the knowledge and experience, you can do this!

I think you're thinking about it all wrong. Firstly you don't know these people so if it doesn't go well who cares you'll never see them again, way easier than a room full of people you know.

Secondly think of it as a pre prepared interview question. You said you hate being put on the spot. This way you haven't been, you're essentially prepared to answer two interview questions already and you will stand there and just answer those questions, just with slides to support you.

So far you've been imagining that presentation with it going wrong.

Between now and then, imagine it going RIGHT. Every time those fluttery nerves kick in, bring yourself back and imagine SUCCESS every time. Takes some discipline, but believe me, after all those years of doing yourself a disservice, now is your opportunity to turn it around.

Plus the feeling of being nervous is the same as being excited. Every time the nervousness comes, turn it to excitement - you can't wait for this interview and again, imagine the presentation going really well.

You have to imagine getting up, setting up your slides, looking out at your interviewers, beginning the speech etc. Everything. Practice on someone if you can.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

If they are asking you to do a presentation at interview, it will be because you're likely be expected to do so at the job and most likely all jobs at this level.

This fear really does come down to experience. The more you do, the more you'll be ok, you just won't get away with having to go through it to get rid of it.

So make it that today is the day you are finally going to tackle it. Go for it, and tell yourself you have nothing to lose, after all, the worse that can happen is that you mess it up, and that will only take you back to where you are now.

Go to it with a 'I don't give a s.... with what they think, I'm not going to please them, I'm going to face my fear, it's my own battle' and go with the flow.

You can do it, you really can. I'm almost there battling with a long standing phobia that came like you through one bad experience, and it is through doing it over and over that it is starting to become normality. I won't ever like it I suspect, but I'm confident I'll get to the neutral state. Go for it!

It's like teaching - it's a mask. No-one would know that I would throw up before some lessons as I was nervous...you just put on the teaching face; ask yourself who actually has qualifications, me or the teens, and go in and nail it.

Yes, what PPs have said.

Practice practice practice. First in front of a mirror. Then in front of the family pets. Then in front of a baby under 12 months. Then work your way up to adult humans.

Don't think of it as a presentation. It just a meeting and you're telling the other meeting participants about your ideas.

Good luck, the whole of MN is behind you cheering you on.

Beta blockers are really good for this

I volunteer in a school and for the first year I wore tops that would not show how much I was sweating from nerves. Fake it till you make it. Act confident, you don't have to feel it yet. And I did, I am much more confident now.

You have done all the prep, they will expect you to be nervous, everything you need to say is on that powerpoint, use it, it is your prompt.

I had to give a presentation and just kept looking at everyone individually and back to the flip chart I had prepared.

Rationalise it with 25 minutes gets you your dream job, day in day out, probably a pay rise too. Think how much happier you will be.

You can honestly do this! You have a great presentation and quality slides, you know your stuff. Yes you may feel like a gibbering wreck but only until you click that first slide and then you're off and running.

I've been there and it petrified me but once I got in the zone I was fine, the thought was worst than actually doing it.

Good luck, you will ace it!

Your slides and content are great, you know what you are talking about, the role is made for you, you are going to do this OP and you are going to ROCK!!!! I did a Pecha kucha (20 slides X 20 seconds per slide) presentation at an annual national forum on Saturday. Scared scared scared for weeks before hand. Practised like crazy. Then practised some more. It was fine. You will be FINE. Good luck!!!!!! 25 mins discomfort and then you will be on the other side of it. Job done- hopefully job yours!!!

I really understand, I was exactly the same. I skived presentations when at Uni, avoided jobs that required that skill.

A glimmer of change happened when I did a two minute talk for an evening course and it went well. It was only two minutes and could practically read it off powerpoint.

Last year I managed to stand up and speak at my mother's funeral. That was a huge deal for me. Now I think I'm cured.

You have to unfeel the fear. It's like holding your breath and diving off a high board or an out of body experience. Pause the fear and you find yourself standing up and talking. Then tell yourself most people have probably had similar moments. The main thing is have a strategy of how to pass a mistake off and be blasé about it. It doesn't matter about a slip up if you can style it out.

I know someone who is an incredible public speaker. Very witty, engaging, passionate. She probably does a speech/presentation at least once a week in front of hundreds of people. She told me every time she presents she gets so nervous, she goes to the loo to shake, feels sick/sometimes even is sick, is basically a complete mess. Every time. There's no way you would know, she's amazing. She said she does it because you have to do what terrifies you because the message/her work is too important not to do it.

You can do this op! And when you're join your 'head of...' role you can then delegate any presentations on

You need to practise, practise, practise. Especially your opening and closing statement. Even if you are extremely nervous while you’re delivering it, your lines will be so stuck in your head you’ll be fine. Once you get the first sentences out ok, you’ll see you’ll get more confident. Don’t let your anxiety hold you back from succeeding at life. It’s like exposure therapy, the more you do it, the easier it gets.
Good luck, you’ve got this!

This is me my whole life - i'm nearly 50 and have never really overcome it I've just learned to cope with it. Its painful but I deliberately got a job where I had to do a reasonable amount of presenting. Hated it but allows me to cope now but I'm still a wreck even presenting to small groups.

Not sure if its any help but I always repeat (to myself - not out load obvs!) part of the lyrics to How to Disappear completely by Radiohead "I'm not here, this isn't happening". Seems to help me a bit but I really feel for you OP. Take comfort in the great presentation you've put together and good luck.

The worst presenter I know is always up for it, has no nerves whatsoever, loves the sound of his own voice and never notices when people's eyes start to glaze over.

The best presenter I know dreads doing it, but she knows her stuff, is never boring and engages with her audience. You can do this OP.