To admit my fate, wuss out and not do the presentation?

[GinAndBubbles]

TLDR: I physically hate presenting / speaking in groups. Should I cancel interview for amazing role as it requires 25 min presentation to directors?

That sums it up really! Until around 14 I was super confident and in all the drama clubs etc. One day I volunteered to get in front of class and I was laughed at for blushing. Since then I’ve not been able to be ‘all eyes on me’. It got so bad I couldn’t even have happy birthday sang to me in a restaurant. Many physical symptoms too (don’t want to TMI!).

I’ve managed somehow to get round this in my career to date, most recently by being honest and avoiding presenting. I’m fine in a large meeting if speaking is on my terms - put me on the spot and I basically die (slight exaggeration but feels like that at the time).

So currently in a role I despise and want to leave hourly. Have an interview Tuesday for a Head of role that is perfect, other than presenting it’s genuinely something I could excel in.

I was only told of the presentation element on Friday so have worked all weekend to pull a PowerPoint together - they want me to answer 2 role specific questions in 25 minutes.

The slides are ace, my content is great... I’m just a quivering mess when I think about delivering it.

AIBU to cancel? If you think yes, how the hell do I get round this ?!

Extra info: I’ve personally paid £1,000+ on courses, hypnotherapy etc to try and rid me of this complex - no success.

I also know I cannot bear my current role (whole other thread as to why 🙈 - but legit reasons as toxic place), so will leave in the coming months (or weeks). At my level there aren’t that many roles that come up, so other than taking the plunge into contracting I’d be looking at substantial pay cut... I’m the main earner in household so that bring a whole new host of issues.

Fully appreciate the masses aren’t fans of public speaking and I’d love to just ‘get over myself’, but it truly physically and mentally affects me... I’m stuck (and freaking out!)

Well done, you made the right decision.

Where do you buy your propanalol online? What level of mg is required? Thank you

Just rehearse it out loud over and over in the mirror again and again until you know it off by heart to your husband...the cat...the fish...the empty room etc etc.

Fingers crossed OP you get it! Another fan of beta blockers here. I used to get so nervous and shaky but masking the physical reaction has helped loads. I only take half a propanol (or whatever it's called!) and that gets me through it. I always keep a stash in my handbag now incase I'm called on at the last minute at work to present something

@taijon I get my propranolol (just looked it up!) from the GP. 40mg dose. I get low blood pressure so they weren't sure about prescribing it but as my heart races ten to a dozen when I get nervous I think the two counteract each other!

Keep in mind the end goal. That’s all you need to achieve. You can do this. Good luck!

Fantastic @GinAndBubbles

I'm a terribly shy person, but started my career in a client advisory role, so had to speak and be the "expert". I've developed what I call my work personality. Super confident. Doesn't mean I don't get nervous or unsure, but it's all in the delivery. If you look and sound like you know what you're talking about, you can just about convince anyone of anything.

Last year I had to do a number of presentations on new accounting standards - extraordinarily boring subject matter, but extremely important. I consistently had 50+ people attend the presentations, which were about 2 hrs each. OMG, that's a fair sized group to get through something so dry and boring!

The preparation and slide creation were important for getting me on track and getting my "patter" sorted. Patter is your sales technique, it's selling what you're talking about. Fortunately for me I tend to be pretty passionate, apparently. Our auditors said exactly that last week in relation to implementation of these standards, I'm the most passionate person they're dealing with on this. Lovely, but that's more because I hate to be wrong than am actually passionate about the subject matter. But passion translates when you present. If you're passionate and engaged in your subject matter, the audience will be drawn in too. Case in point aforementioned drier than cardboard accounting standards. Lots of people commented that they really enjoyed the presentations, which was lovely feedback.

I tend to mentally rehearse what I want to say and points I want to get across. I go over my slides until my thoughts and slides go together smoothly.

I had an interview similar to yours at the beginning of the year. Only difference was you had 30 minutes to prepare the presentation before interviewers came in. You weren't warned in advance that a presentation was required. Didn't get the role, not because of my presentation but because my initial focus for the team was bedding down service delivery (totally new team, never existed previously) and not strategic goals. I still maintain my approach was the correct one and it's what is happening in reality.

Going forward, there's heaps of great suggestions above. Mine are be confident in your subject matter, be passionate with your delivery. Tie what you are talking about into what your audience does. I find a lot of people are incapable of applying a concept to their roles and understanding how it will impact. Using real life examples pulls them in to your narrative and has them thinking about other things they do that may also be impacted. In my big presentations people asked questions I didn't know the answers to. I'd respond with, that's a great question. I wasn't aware of that happening so I'll look into it and let everyone know. If possible I'd step through the process so people could see the considerations and the steps to come to a conclusion. When I circulated the slides later, I'd include the answers to the questions I couldn't answer in the session.

Well since OP, fingers crossed you get it

Also, saw another poster talking about getting propranolol online. DON'T DO THIS. It works on blood pressure and if you get it wrong you could die. Go to the GP. Get a safe dose IF you can tolerate it. Other solutions may be available if you can't safely take that but for Christ's sake DON'T BUY DRUGS ONLINE.

As you were.

If you can take it safely it's lovely - used to take a half dose for migraine prevention and it set me up with a lovely mañana (spelling?) feeling.

Beta blocker users - was it hard to get you GP to prescribe this? I'm avoiding work situations that would help my career as I get so panicked speaking to large groups, so I'd love to try something.

Congratulations op on overcoming your fear and going through with the presentation. An incredible feat. Hopefully they won't keep you hanging on too long for the result.
Big pat on the back cheers!

What a lovely thread!
OP - you’re amazing!
You can only be brave If you are scared.
If you aren’t scared of public speaking then it’s not brave to do it.... what you did was immensely brave

Bloody hell, you're brave!!! I know the exact feeling and I use beta blockers when I present. They work very well. Give them a try next time and spare yourself the stress.

Anyway, regardless of whether you get the job - you did it!!! That's absolutely fantastic in itself. Congratulations for facing your fears.

Beta blocker users - was it hard to get you GP to prescribe this?

No, in fact she told me she used them to her through medical school.

*get through

Well done OP, and what a lovely supportive thread. MN at its best! I really hope you get the job.

Well done op! You must be so pleased you did it! Let us know when you hear about the job.

I am also like this and have let my fear hold me back throughout my life from not going for an interview at my favourite choice uni because it required a presentation to not going for promotions. However I do know that whenever I have been brave and gone through with it I have been so proud of myself and the next time it has been a little bit easier. I am a teacher and give assemblies to whole school now. I am still very nervous before them but manage somehow!

Would you have to do regular presentations if you got the job or just for the interview?

If just interview, try to think of it as a worst case/best case scenario. Best case, you get the job. Worst case, you’ll probably never see these people again. It has to be worth giving it a shot if you’re hating your current job so much. You may regret not trying later.
Good luck

I hope you go for it . Give yourself a break and take the pressure off. Blush ,stumble on your words , feel uncomfortable,bit won't kill you, you can do it , get it done ♥️

Op please come back and update us once you've heard the outcome! Whatever the outcome you will be proud that you went for it and at least got the practice!

Beta blocker users - was it hard to get you GP to prescribe this? I'm avoiding work situations that would help my career as I get so panicked speaking to large groups, so I'd love to try something.

It was very straightforward for me. I was actually prescribed betablockers about 20 years ago at university when I began trying to pick modules according to whether I would have to present or not. I realised this was not a good way to continue - my life, future career and opportunities were being dictated by this fear.

GP did tests for blood pressure to ensure they were suitable for me and then prescribed them to take on an 'as-needed' basis - he recommended experimenting with them and taking them about half an hour before presenting. He advised to be careful not to take too much as they can cause you to feel faint/ be unable to exercise properly.

I now take a quarter of the dosage I was originally given - 10mg of propranolo instead of 40mg (and very rarely at that as I feel less panic now, probably due to the conditioning effect that the medication has had - if you never experience panic in a situation you previously used to, your brain learns a new connection - that it's not a scary situation any more and doesn't send out adrenaline in its droves any more!)

I've got to say it has been a game changer for me. I am a confident presenter now.

It's important to note that betablockers don't change the psychology directly - they're not like tranquilisers, they just work to regulate the physical symptoms...but in time this is enough to impact the psychology because your brain starts telling you 'Hey, nothing to worry about here, you're not shaking, your heart rate has not gone through the roof, you're not blushing or sweating, everything must be ok - this is not a threatening situation'.

I think GPs will prescribe quite readily (as long as you are medically suitable) if they hear that you are being held back in your life because of situational anxiety.

Thanks suggestionsplease and papayacoconut that's very helpful, I think I will make an appointment! I don't have any presentations coming up, but that's because I avoid volunteering for anything will need to set up a test situation! No matter how prepared I am and all the confidence-talk I give myself, minutes before my heart goes ballistic and I feel my voice shakes when I speak. Would be amazing to have something to help

Highlight of my day checking in on this thread 😊 I had a ‘medical appointment’ yesterday for the interview, so going to book GP appointment for in a few weeks to get the beta blockers, they really sound like they could help!!

Going to be a loooong wait (not really, by early next week!) to hear back. My mind is now on overdrive - what if they want one at a second interview 😂 my DP told me to just allow myself to be proud of what I did for a few days before worrying about what ifs - was a fair point!

Ladies, if I can do it, ANYONE can. I was a mess, but I did it. I was in that room for 1.5 hours so not only my talk but then questioning. As so many PPs have said - what’s the worse that can happen. I believe in each and everyone one of you fab lot ❤️

My husband has a role where in effect what he does is evaluate "presentations". He always says that he is literally willing the participants on, wanting them to put him in a position where he can award a high mark. He's on their side, he wants them to do well. When they do an element well, he thinks "go on, keep going, do that again".

Maybe try to think that your audience is doing the same. They aren't trying to catch you out, they want to hear what you have to say, they believe you can do it until you prove otherwise. They want you to validate their good judgement in getting you through to this stage.

On a practical note - don't read your slides. The slides are a capture of the key points, not the whole content, you want them to listen to you, not read a screen along with you. Look at them,. talk to them. It will be a small group so you can be more conversational rather than didactic in style.

Good luck.

Ooops, sorry, late to the thread! Glad it went well.