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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To admit my fate, wuss out and not do the presentation?

275 replies

GinAndBubbles · 14/10/2019 01:06

TLDR: I physically hate presenting / speaking in groups. Should I cancel interview for amazing role as it requires 25 min presentation to directors?

That sums it up really! Until around 14 I was super confident and in all the drama clubs etc. One day I volunteered to get in front of class and I was laughed at for blushing. Since then I’ve not been able to be ‘all eyes on me’. It got so bad I couldn’t even have happy birthday sang to me in a restaurant. Many physical symptoms too (don’t want to TMI!).

I’ve managed somehow to get round this in my career to date, most recently by being honest and avoiding presenting. I’m fine in a large meeting if speaking is on my terms - put me on the spot and I basically die (slight exaggeration but feels like that at the time).

So currently in a role I despise and want to leave hourly. Have an interview Tuesday for a Head of role that is perfect, other than presenting it’s genuinely something I could excel in.

I was only told of the presentation element on Friday so have worked all weekend to pull a PowerPoint together - they want me to answer 2 role specific questions in 25 minutes.

The slides are ace, my content is great... I’m just a quivering mess when I think about delivering it.

AIBU to cancel? If you think yes, how the hell do I get round this Blush?!

Extra info: I’ve personally paid £1,000+ on courses, hypnotherapy etc to try and rid me of this complex - no success.

I also know I cannot bear my current role (whole other thread as to why 🙈 - but legit reasons as toxic place), so will leave in the coming months (or weeks). At my level there aren’t that many roles that come up, so other than taking the plunge into contracting I’d be looking at substantial pay cut... I’m the main earner in household so that bring a whole new host of issues.

Fully appreciate the masses aren’t fans of public speaking and I’d love to just ‘get over myself’, but it truly physically and mentally affects me... I’m stuck (and freaking out!)

OP posts:
twinkledag · 14/10/2019 20:18

I had a similar experience a few years ago. I had to do a presentation as part of a job interview - hate presentations and wanted to bail out but I thought if I want to move up to the next level then I have to do this.

I ended up sitting down while presenting so it felt like more of a conversation and I got the job in the end!

Good luck OP 😊

butterybiscuitbasic · 14/10/2019 20:32

One other thing - you said “I wish i was presenting to you”... basically you are. IME the people interviewing you will want you to do well - people interviewing you are just normal - they may have a fear of presenting too, and do understand that you may be nervous. Good luck I’m sure you’ll be fabulous!

GinAndBubbles · 14/10/2019 21:40

Just ran through it in front of 4 people... my god you’d have thought I was stepping up to the electric chair🙈🙈

But I bloody well did it 🥳🥳🥳 took on board so many of your pointers, you lot get a bad press, you’re an amazing group.

Got this now so will be swigging it no doubt until it’s showtime!

Interview is at 3pm tomorrow... keep everything crossed for me and I’ll let you know how it goes 🤞🤞🤞

To admit my fate, wuss out and not do the presentation?
OP posts:
AlpacaGoodnight · 14/10/2019 21:46

Good luck! I have just found this thread,I'm so pleased you are going to go for it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. When I get stressed about work things (or life in general) I always ask myself what ia the worst that can happen and it usually calms me.

purplepandas · 14/10/2019 21:48

Good luck op, you've got this!

purplepandas · 14/10/2019 21:49

And to add, I used to be like this. I now teach at uni and taught a 30 plus class today for 2 hours. My 21 yr old self would never have believed I could have done this or present at conferences etc.

OverUnderSidewaysDown · 14/10/2019 21:55

Oh yes! You CAN DO THIS!!!
Couple of wee hints if you’re feeling nervous:

If your smile feels wobbly you can hold it in place by pressing the tip of your tongue just behind the top of your front top teeth.
If you’re finding it hard to make eye contact just look at the point between people’s eyebrows. They’ll still think you are looking sincerely into their eyes but it takes the pressure off you.
Good luck - you’re going to smash it.

PenguinMama · 14/10/2019 21:59

Good luck - you can do it!!

SacramentoMN · 14/10/2019 22:04

When I was in an interview I was also terrified of blushing, so I hid behind make-up; Foundation and blusher. It really helped.

Kittykat93 · 14/10/2019 22:13

I'm terrified of public speaking.. I have everything crossed for u tomorrow op!!!!

myolivetree · 14/10/2019 22:26

Don't know you. But reading this feel VERY proud of you!
So far so good.
Wishing you all the best.

You will SOON be looking back on this .Star

victorioussponges · 14/10/2019 22:32

Yesss! Good luck OP - you really deserve this! Sounds like you've done stellar prep. All the best for tomorrow and hope you can have some downtime tonight before bed Flowers

Snog · 15/10/2019 06:51

Good luck OP
The foundation tip is a good one if you blush like I do!
But sometime the only way out is through

ChefsFloozie · 15/10/2019 06:56

Good luck!

SnugglySnerd · 15/10/2019 07:03

Good luck!!!

chartreuse · 15/10/2019 07:51

Everything crossed for you OP, you are going to ace it! Good luck!!

Rivkka · 15/10/2019 11:34

Good luck you've got this now x

Rubbleonthedouble1 · 15/10/2019 11:48

I’m like this. It doesn’t work for everyone but I’ve started thinking ‘what is the absolutely worse that could happen’ and it’s not that bad and doesn’t come true anyway! This seems to help me a little. Enough I get me into the room anyway! X

LaurieMarlow · 15/10/2019 11:48

Good luck

WishThisWasGin · 15/10/2019 12:33

I am confident and professional....but call it a presentation and I freak out!

I have to kid myself I'm training them in an area I know all about and they don't.

For some strange reason if I'm chatting to 30 people about something they need to know it's fine.

Give a presentation to 2 people? NAH I can't speak to the point of shaking.

Good luck! All the preparation will shine through.

butterybiscuitbasic · 15/10/2019 13:38

Good luck op!!

GinAndBubbles · 15/10/2019 16:41

1.5 hours later... I’m out and feel like I’ve been hit by a train.

I sat down, but I bloody did it. 4 in the room (plus me). DP turned up to talk me into it, he’s a hero. I was sick, been to the loo too many times... but I did it.

I was reading this thread before I went in... you beautiful people helped me more than you’ll ever know ❤️❤️

Don’t think I did amazingly, but I didn’t show myself up... and most importantly, I DID show up, and I bloody DID IT!!!

Now at closet pub for treble gin...

OP posts:
WhatWouldDuggeeDo · 15/10/2019 16:43

Yes OP!! I've been lurking and rooting for you! I think you are amazing to face your fear, so bloody brave, give yourself a massive pat on the back and reward yourself somehow (Gin? Wine? Chocolate? Or all three😁) xx

WhatWouldDuggeeDo · 15/10/2019 16:44

Ahh sorry just seen yours is a treble gin! Enjoy 😁🍾🍾🍾

Collectorofcookbooks · 15/10/2019 16:58

Oh bloody WELL DONE! I’m late to the party but I’m very proud of you, and I don’t even know you Grin

Enjoy the gin, you’ve earned it.