To think fil is being a bit cheeky?

[LionsTigersAndBearsAndPandas]

Fil has just texted dh "what day will we (him and step mil) be having Christmas Dinner at your house". Bit of background - Fil has not really been interested in us until we had our ds. He would see dh once or twice a year for a few hours. Since he divorced DH's mum when dh was a child he hasn't done much for dh. I have never been invited to his house in the 11 years I have been with dh. AIBU to think fil is being cheeky and if he wants Christmas Dinner with us he can host?
No doubt will get suggestions that dh cook but dh can't cook well and would struggle with the shopping, preparing and cooking a Christmas dinner. When he was at university he made himself frozen food and ready meals or at best pasta with a jar of sauce poured on top or a plain omelette. So I would end up doing most of the cooking and cleaning. And a fancy Christmas Dinner from Marks and Spencer where you just pop it in the oven is a bit too expensive since we have so many Christmas presents and birthday presents to buy (6 birthdays in November and December).

Imo out of date mince pies would be too good for the cf.. Good on your dh op.

Good for your DH. He really did actually expect you to cook another Christmas dinner just for them on her terms. What a knobber.

Well, your DH has made the offer. It's up to FIL if he wants to be stupid about it.

"Ow"? What is his problem.

Well done to your dh... I can't believe how many cf there are out there at the moment

Yeah I can't believe the reply was just "ow", to me that seems very passive aggressive?

He was just trying to guilt trip you. I'd be inclined to suggest nothing further to him. The offer is there, if he wants to take it up he'll let you know, but what a cheek to expect you all to make another dinner for him and his wife when he blew off his own children for years. I'd wouldn't be going out of my way to meet up with him at hall.

“I’m sorry, was that a typo?”

Lol

He’s a total user.

If he wants to see you, he can invite you next time

Ow... that is a shitty response. DH should point that that is how he has felt year after year when not invited at all.

I would have replied to fill same back at you ow! Yes now you know how your son felt all of these years ow indeed!

Is that meant to be ow and is oh (disappointing) or ow as in ouch

Own indeed.

Talk about no self awareness.🙄

Your poor husband.

FIL sounds like a right waster.

Hope his step children, step up when he's older.

I certainly wouldn't be.

Extraordinary how entitled some people are.

Great reply from you guys OP. You were polite and you invited them. You could always reply to his "ow" with "of course you could always do a second Xmas meal for us..." Or you could get on with your own Xmas and not give it a second thought. After all that what he's done to your DH for years. He can reap what he sowed - nothing.

Ops yes sorry it was "oh" not "ow"

Lol, I thought his ow was to show how hurt he was! Oh is actually less passive aggressive than ow!

Oh isn't really a good reply
Oh ok how about coffee on the 27th is a good reply
Oh OK what about getting together at New Year
But oh is almost worse than how

Or even ow

Ask him to invite you and your family out. Id go. But offer nothing

"Oh" is a bit poor me.

Good job by your DH. I am still shocked that his crap father expected you to have another 'xmas' dinner and its yet another slap in the face to your DH when his father wont come to yours as he is spending it with his wifes kids. Nice....he really doesn't have a clue.
My father didn't have the privilege to spend time with my DC, I didn't allow him to think he could make up for being a shit dad by trying to be a good grandfather. I went NC at age 20 and that didn't change when I had DC. He made no effort at all. My half sister befriended me on FB and there was all the lovely family photos, holidays and Christmases that I never had growing up. Maybe your DH needs to re think his relationship

aweedropofsancerre
That's awful, it must have been hurtful seeing the holidays and Christmases and not getting the same growing up. I don't know why dh isn't bothered that his dad has given more to his stepchildren than him or his siblings. He just says "oh well that's just the way he is" if I ask him.
I'm sadly not shocked by fil, he is very entitled and a tight b**tard. He has in the past demanded dh get his wife birthday presents when he doesn't get me or dh a birthday present. I don't know why DH does not re think his relationship with him. It's like he abandoned his family for his second wife's family. He did the bare minimum. I heard he did not pay child support for a long time and didn't even feed his kids when they were with him (fil's mother had to feed them).

Cheeky shit. Well done you and DH.

OP I’m so angry on your behalf! He actually expected you to do a second xmas meal at another date just for him and his wife! And you even invited him over for Christmas Day! Something he’s never done!
I like the idea of saying ‘of course you could always do a second xmas meal for us’
I hope you, DH and your LO have the best Christmas!

Has anything else happened since OP? X