Would you prefer to live alone?

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If you had the financial flexibility to do so, and if you didn't have the emotional pressure to live with your partner, would you prefer to live alone?
Inspired by the article: www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/oct/13/you-dont-have-to-settle-the-joy-of-living-and-dying-alone

My answer is yes.

@TheMonkeyWhale

I can see why that would be difficult. You'll probably surprise yourself though. Hopefully you have support in real life, but mumsnet is always here too.

definitely!!!!!! i lived alone for a long time and was very depressed for much of it, not because i lived alone, although living alone did enable me to bury myself in my shell for longer. i'm older and wiser now (plus know what the other side is like) and would relish it! bliss!

Sometimes often I daydream about living alone.

I absolutely couldn’t live with a man again! Happy to live with the dc (although Ds1 will probably move out for uni next year) but love having the bed to myself, the tv remote, can get up / go to bed / nap when I like. Don’t feel like I need permission to leave the house. Have full control of my finances. I could go on!!

No. I lived alone from age 20 to age 27 and athough I quite liked it, I prefer living with DH. I like living with DS as well but he won’t be at home forever. I hope DH will.

Pros and cons of both for me. I lived alone with DC for over 10 years and I really did love it in most ways. I'm very happy in my own company and find others draining. Plus when I lived with my ex it was hell and I swore I'd never live with a man again.

Now I live with my DP which happened through circumstance (I got made homeless) and it's actually really good. We live in a very small space with a baby and a teenager and it's amazing how well we all get along most the time. It's lovely to have someone to make coffee in the morning or cook dinner. I think it helps that due to the baby we work opposite hours so we're not always together.

I'm not sure which I prefer overall, but I do know I wouldn't hesitate to live alone again if I was unhappy living with someone else

I live alone quite happily with my rescue cat, cat ornaments, pink bathroom, 4 bookshelves crammed with books, 3 wardrobes crammed with clothes... sometimes it gets a bit lonely so I'll make plans to see friends or just put my favourite music on - blasting a bit of trance or drum n bass to shake the walls...

Hopefully when I meet a man I want to live with he will put up with the ornaments & the pink just like my macho Russian ex KGB friend whose wife decorated their bedroom with Ukrainian lace in tasteful shades of pink & purple.. he loved her so much he didn't care!

I live with my kids and cats,

just me and them for 6 years so far. When they grow up and move out I don't think I will ever be prepared to share my home with another adult (unless one of my kids happens to move back in). I will most definitely not be lonely.

I too would be happy with Christmas alone, once my kids have grown up. I can picture a bottle of Bailey's, good food and a game of the Sims would be quite satisfying. Although I would probably volunteer to work so someone else could spend it with their kids.

AutumnRose1
but that's the thing, I don't understand what it means?
What freedom do you have alone that you don't have with a partner?

I get kids, they suck all your freedom the little buggers. But a grown-up partner? I just don't get it, what can't you do with a partner that you could without? Again, I get that there can be some compromise about decor - but DH and I have fairly similar taste, so we'd never had issues, but what else?

I honestly don't get it - I doubt people mean the freedom of bringing a one-night stand

Muppet the freedom of living alone is partly that live completely unobserved and quietly. Apart from neighbour noise! I don't like having someone else around as a default. If I invite someone, sure. But as the default, no way. The freedom IS being alone.

There's honestly nothing I could do differently if I was living alone.

not only that, but I would have to be responsible for everything in the house, instead of sharing chores and last minute dash out for a take-away or a bottle of wine. I keep my DH!

Yes, Muppet, you keep your DH.

I'm just surprised that some people have so much confusion around other points of view.

I've lived with DS (17) since splitting up with my XH in 2012 and will be alone once he goes to university. I can't imagine living with a partner ever again.

I've always enjoyed tie on my own and that is probably why I chose to marry a man whose career took him away frequently.... is suspect that we'd have divorced much sooner than we did had he been at home more... I am now the only adult in a house full of teens, tweens and cats so whilst not living alone, am without a partner and I'm extremely happy....I absolutely adore my kids but do still enjoy time on my own when they are with their Dad and don't foresee ever living with a partner again even once/ if they leave home for good....

AutumnRose1

the confusion comes from so many threads where posters complain that, because they have a partner,
they must go shopping and cook diner
they can't watch their tv program
they have chores to do
they can't go out or away for a weekend

basically absolutely nothing that has anything to do with an adult relationship.

Muppet why conflate threads?

I absolutely love living alone and would never live with a partner again.

I just don't like compromise.

I lived alone previously and didn’t particularly enjoy it. I felt lovely, and constantly on-edge.

I’m an introvert but love living with DH, our dog and cat. We have a lovely peaceful life, and all three of them are great company. I wouldn’t want to give that up.

why not? Same subject, different point of views, always interesting to hear some new answers.

No.
I hate being home alone. I love company.

I love living with DH, he's my soul mate, but actually if he leaves me I'll probably be ok. I like my own company, and I like the house to myself. I can't wait for the kids to all bugger off.

I can probably tolerate the dog.

I'm living properly alone for the first time since a six-month stint when I was 18, and I am now 51. It was my choice, and so far I am relishing the freedom to do exactly what I want, when I want and not have to look after anyone else (at least no one else who lives with me - I do still have caring responsibilities elsewhere) or take anyone else's needs or wishes into consideration.

I certainly haven't felt lonely (yet, anyway) but then I have always been happy in my own company and really need a good amount of time to myself or I start to feel stressed. I know some more naturally extrovert types would find it difficult.

As some others have said, I think it does depend on whether or not living alone is a choice, as well as on personality type.

I’m not living alone but I am the only adult in my house since DH died. I’m both very lonely and absolutely exhausted from solo parenting, grief and from being the only one earning an income and looking after the house. DH was wonderful company and pulled his weight with house and kids and enjoyed doing so.

But I can’t imagine living with another adult now. Over the past couple of years I’ve redecorated and got a new life routine I guess. I’d love DH to come back, see what I’ve done with the place and fit right back in - but I don’t think anyone else would ever fit. Time will tell, I suppose. I am fearful of the future when DCs move out, but I’ve got another decade.

tunnocks. I’m sorry for your loss. I think I remember your threads from some years ago when your DH was dying. I think like all things, circumstances are very different if they are a conscious choice. You most certainly didn’t choose to live alone, albeit you have your DCs, so it must be very difficult for you. 💐

Yes, I'd like it. I worry my son won't move out. He's only a teen now, but I can see me having to prompt it.