Would you prefer to live alone?

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If you had the financial flexibility to do so, and if you didn't have the emotional pressure to live with your partner, would you prefer to live alone?
Inspired by the article: www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/oct/13/you-dont-have-to-settle-the-joy-of-living-and-dying-alone

My answer is yes.

God yes

It’s unusual, Jacques

It’s preferable to living with a knobhead: that goes without saying, but most people do seek a relationship and if they say they won’t, it’s because they are in a happy one and can’t imagine replacing their current DP with someone else (and yes, I know this doesn’t apply to you.)

Ok but shetland, why did you spend it alone?

And I used to live alone - 8 years - and spent many christmasses alone . Loved it. It doesn't suit everyone but it suited me

I hate it, I live with my young son, so not completely alone and I really don’t like it.

It’s just really lonely once he’s gone to bed.

Before the start of this year I had always either lived with friends or a partner, not having that has been a huge change and a change I really don’t like.

Why I spent it alone is irrelevant, but it was because I couldn't get to my family due to bad weather.

My point is, that for some people Christmas alone, for whatever reason, would be awful. Others would enjoy it. I have a lot of sympathy for people that find themselves alone and don't cope well with that.

I would quite happily get involved with someone, but there is no way on earth they would be moving in. Not a chance. No matter how lovely they are.

The problem is the things people love about having the house to themselves aren’t even remotely a novelty when you have to do it all the time.

Not true for everyone - my love of having the house to myself hasn’t worn off after all these years.

Is it SO hard to understand that the things that some people don’t like - being alone, having the house to yourself - are the things that other people wouldn’t give up if you put a gun to their head?! Because some of the responses here seem to be refusing to accept that some people genuinely like living alone. Is this like how extroverts cannot understand introverts and think there’s something wrong with them no matter how much introverts say they’re happy as they are?

Is this like how extroverts cannot understand introverts and think there’s something wrong with them no matter how much introverts say they’re happy as they are?

Yes. Exactly that.

I’m happy living with my partner and child, but I would never just get a roommate if I had any choice financially. Btdt. Living with people you aren’t closely linked to by love is awful.

I don’t know daffodil, I’m coming from this from a place of ‘well I love my family but actually I’d LOVE to live alone’ - that I find odd.

It was relevant shetland because I can see that was enjoyable if just an unfortunate turn of events, family alive and well, just circumstances. If you had to spend Christmas alone because no one gave a fuck about you it might be different!

I'd rather live alone than living with someone who makes me feel miserable. But absolutely would love to have a happy little family of mine. It's about deciding between positive energy or negative vibes for me.

Once there are kids involved, idk how I'd feel.

No, it was enjoyable because I like to spend time alone. I did things I wanted to do. It would be the same if I had no family.

I know someone else that said their Christmas was miserable because they didn't get to their family that year.

(the joy of being from an island that is subject to high winds at that time of year).

Your point does nothing to negate my point that different things will suit different people. The circumstances, generally, won't change a person's nature. If people like people alone, then they will be fine with it. If they don't, they won't.

I’m coming from this from a place of ‘well I love my family but actually I’d LOVE to live alone’ - that I find odd.

Why?

I don't get the "house to yourself" when you are talking about another adults, not your kids. Unless you live in a tiny studio, surely there's enough room so you can both have your own space when you need, but still enjoy each other company?

I do have a couple of very close people who do live alone by choice, but their choice is always a positive one, not a long description of all it's bad if you live with someone.

Daffodil - because you wouldn’t actually not want to have them in your life, would you? which follows on from shetlands point, really.

Marriage and kids aren’t compulsory, so if really and truly what floats your boat is spending every minute you can by yourself, why didn’t you do that?

Not living with someone isn't the same as not having them in your life

No

Yeah there are days when I wish I lived alone.

No but that’s disingenuous, shetland. Most people marry (or at any rate, when they have children) know that the partner will be sharing a space with them. You aren’t telling me that people date, move in with a partner and have children all along thinking that what they really want is for them all to live next door or something.

Yes it's my preference. Haven't lived with another adult for over 20 years, no plans to change that.

I mean really, it’s the appeal of the fantasy is what I am getting at.

I might fantasise about living abroad, somewhere beautiful and say ‘I’d love to do that!’

But actually, I wouldn’t speak the language, it would be too hot, I’d miss my favourite biscuits (or whatever) ... but it’s nice to think about.

because you wouldn’t actually not want to have them in your life, would you?

I completely agree with @ShetlandWife - there is a huge difference between 'not living with someone' and 'not having them in my life'. As an adult, I don't live with my immediate family anymore. That doesn't in any way mean that they aren't in my life. It's not a binary "live with someone or have nothing whatsoever to do with them" choice

I nearly live alone. D.C. at uni. I don’t work. DH works comes home eats dinner, goes to sleep.

What scares me is retirement, his obviously

It would be interesting how your background influence your preferences:

do people coming from big family go for another big family, or completely alone, same for only children.