What is your honest view about only children??

[Charley1988]

My view is that being an only child can POTENTIALLY be a great experience and that all the well known stereotypes of only children are a complete MYTH. The only POTENTIAL downside in my opinion is that an only child may SOMETIMES be more prone to a more rigid upbringing than someone with siblings - but please note I've put the most important words in this sentence in block capitals....

Better for the environment (although no children is the ideal), less stress for parents! Win, win!

Yep another vote for good for the planet!

I am jujst amazed that people know the ins and outs of other people. Belly has apparently never met an only who wasn't a brat. i've never been in a workplace, or a social setting where birth order, or family dynamics have ever been discussed, - as a fully functioning adult anyway. People might mention a sister, in passing (it's my sister's birhtday.... oh, my sister also likes Pokemon Go' perhaps) but unlikely to go out of their way to say 'I Am An Only - come hither and throw rotten eggs at me. '

I have one. We have fertility issues and we had to go through years of trying and IVF to have her. If I can have a second somewhere down the road then wonderful but I've accepted that I may not and I'm still breathtakingly lucky to have one child.

I'm not worried about her being an only child or not. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter.

I am one of three, I really love the fact I have siblings, although I'm not so close with one, I am with my middle sister and we talk daily, Im so glad I have her and we had a wonderful childhood as we would play together. We always do everything big together.

DH is only child, he had a very different up bringing to me. Got to travel lots, lived in different countries, got to goto schools I couldn't. Has option (won't go too deep) to have siblings but doesnt care about it and his family aren't big on celebrating.

We now have one DC but I'm pregnant, I'm so looking forward to DC having a sibling. They will be the same age difference as me and my closest sister are, DC is such an out going little thing he will love to be involved.

I think I guess from the above, it all depends on what environment you grew up in. I am incredibly big on family time, Christmas is huge with traditions, I want to be surround by my kids. DH loves our DC of course but he's not so into the family thing.

I’m currently thinking of a couple of adults I have come across who are spoilt, brattish, immature. They have siblings.

One of my best friends is an only and she’s fab, made a real effort with me when I was going through a hard time.

Only children are brats. I've yet to come across one that isn't

Don’t be ridiculous. You obviously haven’t met a representative sample. I could say I’ve known some hideous people that have siblings.

But, being totally honest, I think as an adult it would be a bit sad to have no siblings, and difficult when parents die or need care. But then I'm close to my sibling so a bit biased

This pisses me off. Are you just assuming that my only child won't have friends, a partner, their own children, cousins, aunties,uncles and possibly in-laws to support her when I die or become ill?

I’m an only, really benefitted all my life from a financial perspective. Am very self contained, happy to be on my own, keep myself company. Dealing with losing my parents was hard, my mum’s dementia was a particularly terrible experience. I wish now I wasn’t quite so alone. I have three of my own and hope they remain close.

I think its better to have siblings...I have one sister, I'd have loved more.

tbh most dc do spend a lot of time fighting/quarrelling with their siblings usually about who plays what & who has a turn - the most important thing is if you o have an only dc to make sure they mix with other dc & learn to take turns & share (without attempting to kill each other which is common among siblings - not really! well mostly )

Only children are brats. I've yet to come across one that isn't

Oh really? Funny that because a teacher who was dealing with my DD yesterday in school after she fell and hurt herself, went to my DDs own teacher to tell her teacher how lovely her manners were(because DD thanked her for patching up her knee).

I've also had to stop DD giving all her toys away to her friends, she's very generous.

She's just the same as most other children I imagine, nothing about her manners and generosity is to do with being an only child.

I know 7 people in real life who've had real difficulty adjusting to adulthood and all have siblings apart from one. There are parents on here who do start threads on the issue of providing children with a sibling and if this is not a possibility for whatever reason what I'm saying is rest assured- all the only children I know are thriving emotionally in adulthood - with only one exception

My honest opinion?

I feel a bit sorry for them.
It must be very lonely & boring a lot of the time.

I think the most spoiled children I’ve ever met professionally have siblings and there are so many benefits to being an only child. In addition only children have many great qualities. Having said that for me with limited local family I felt strongly that I wanted my children to have siblings especially for adult years - most of my friends are very close with adult siblings (guardian to each other’s children, holiday together, loving aunties) and I hoped for that for mine - still do tho our situation is tricky as one child has complex medical needs, autism etc and will need looking after 24/7 permanently. Honestly though 2/3 of my DC would have been far better off as an only. There are many many benefits.

I knew one that was spoilt as she was the only child, and another that was lonely as his parents mostly also left him to his own devices. But I suppose in both cases it depends what the parents are like, parents could probably avoid both these pitfalls and others.

My honest opinion, OP, is that only children are a PITA.

My DC (all older teens) are at constant war with one another, and I sometimes think how much easier just one would have been.

But when I think of the problems my DC have had over the years with other children, they have always been with only children. Whatever their parents intend, they are perfect and the world revolves around them. Anyone with multiple DC will know that if they can be complete shits to their siblings, they can be likewise to anyone else.

I am one of four. XH was one of three. DP was 7th of 8. However, he had one child. And she is a PITA, despite his best efforts. It is inevitable.

I have an only, i was raised as an only with much much older half siblings the other side of the world. I worry she will feel burderned by us when we are old or ill, or be alone when we are gone. But the vast majority of my friends have crap relationships with their siblings and take care of their parents alone. They have built new families and have friends as a support network. There is no barrier against grief & loneliness, you have to do what is right for you & yours

DH is an only and says he is perfectly content. He had a couple of cousins growing up but they were a few years younger so not terribly close.

I have a brother and I like him fine but we’re very different and live quite far apart, so I don’t see him much. I wouldn’t choose to be friends with him if we weren’t siblings.

It’s a crap shoot 🤷🏻‍♀️

'Only children are brats. I've yet to come across one that isn't'

What a sheltered life you must lead

Bless you

I'm an only. Not through choice either as my mum had multiple miscarriages either side of my appearance.
I'm lucky that I wasn't treated as anything special by her or her parents (youngest grandchild one side and only grandchild the other!).
Rainy days could be lonely, but I grew up in a close knit community and I would call round my friends. However, I was a smartarse and thought my way was always the best.

Once I went to uni I had a bf who was very honest and would call me out on my 'only childedness' tendencies.
I didn't have many, but I couldn't help but pick up on peoples' mistakes for example. Whether that's an only child thing or a Leslie thing, I don't know.

I think it has made me sensitive as I didn't have any siblings to tease me or beat me up, so I am a sensitive soul.
I'm also very happy in my own company and not talking much.
I am a people pleaser as I want people to like me.
I am very close to my mum and we speak most days. I wish she lived nearer!

I would have kept my DD as an only, but my DH has a bro and wanted a sibling for ours, so we have 2 dc.

Now I'm nearing 40 and my parents are divorced and don't speak, what worries me is caring for them.
That responsibility falls solely to me, so I'm not looking forward to that.

The other thing is I've seen only children, kids from large families and kids from 'average' U.K. family sizes - i .e one of 2 growing up to be great people and excellent role models ...

It’s nice to hear some positives for ‘onlies’, the last thread on this subject was a bit negative overall.

I’m an only with what I plan to be an only. My upbringing was great for the most part but there have been timed I’ve wished I’d had some support. Having worked closely with people who have all kinds of different family dynamics I’ve found it’s more unusual to have and maintain the close sibling bond we all think of. So although I’ve wished for it at times, I’m imagining a false ideal.

My husband is one of two, he’s the older and wonderful, if the younger is anything to go by I’m not risking it 😬

My DD is likely to be an only for fertility and age reasons (it took so long to conceive her, we're now ancient!). If I'm honest, I'd like a sibling for her more than for me. My parents are divorced and I feel the stress of trying to look after them both separately. Ironically, I'm not an only. My DB has been a heroin addict for at least half his life and is of no practical help. In fact, he just complicates and creates complications and difficulties. We have always been very different and were never especially close. Logically, therefore, I know a sibling is no guarantee of help or support but I can't quite shake the feeling I ought to give her one to 'share the load'. Anyway, not up to me so it is what it is. She's loved (and very loving), gets plenty of attention and goes to a childminder while I'm at work so she interacts with the same children each day in a home environment. Fingers crossed!