What is your honest view about only children??

[Charley1988]

My view is that being an only child can POTENTIALLY be a great experience and that all the well known stereotypes of only children are a complete MYTH. The only POTENTIAL downside in my opinion is that an only child may SOMETIMES be more prone to a more rigid upbringing than someone with siblings - but please note I've put the most important words in this sentence in block capitals....

Haha I had a boss who said similar @dirtyrottenscoundrel - he reckoned his wife, an only child, was much better at sharing treats etc that he was. He put it down to his upbringing of having fight his corner with his siblings to get a share whereas for his wife, sharing would have been done on a less competitive basis.

I think I'm similar- I'm not a natural sharer but I also grew up having to get in quick before my brothers!!

I was brought up as an only child with two much older (21 years and12 years) older half siblings.

Pluses are: massively self reliant, very rarely lonely. Have travelled solo all over the world from the Sahara to the Australian Outback. Not a team player. V introverted. The world needs more of us!

Minuses are: this can lead to everyday social isolation. Had to learn very late in life how other people ticked. Office life was agony for years until age,experience and therapy worked it out. Find it hard to maintain relationships and tend to fix on one or two close people plus a fringe of acquaintances.

Also being the only child of aged parents ( father 51 when I was born in 66 and Mother35) is a massive, and I repeat, massive burden.

However, well aware that the presence of siblings does not necessarily resolve this. Esp if you are female and they are male.

My pelvic floor refuses to have another child. Sorry DD but I’m done!

Of course, having only one child is the best thing you can do for a planet which is over-consuming. Or none at all! We should all be grateful to those who have one hold whether through choice or circumstance.

I feel sorry for them, not having a sibling is a massive loss IMHO.

not having a sibling is a massive loss IMHO

Not if your sibling turns out to be a dick.....!

@Monkeyseesmonkeydoes we really don't need your pity. We are perfectly happy.

Minuses are: this can lead to everyday social isolation. Had to learn very late in life how other people ticked. Office life was agony for years until age,experience and therapy worked it out. Find it hard to maintain relationships and tend to fix on one or two close people plus a fringe of acquaintances.

Hmmm, I think this is probably a personality thing rather than an only child thing - the only children I know (children and adults) are very good at integrating with others and creating relationships - better than those with siblings in many ways.

@monkeyseesmonkeydoes agree with @jacqueshammer not a loss at all if they're like that. Personally, I'd rather be an only than have the brother my DH has - no loss there at all 🤣

@Weathergirl1 made me giggle because I'm very happily an only, and my husbands brother is also not someone we want to socialise with 😂

I've always been outgoing, and had friends. Many closer than family.

@nrpmum 😁👍 also the (lack of) relationship with BIL has actually caused us issues with the PIL... Must be really hard for parents to see their children not getting on as they'd like them to. It's strained our relationship with MIL in particular as she kept trying to get us to 'build bridges' which were thrown back at us 🤷

This thread makes very interesting reading. I'm going to ressurect it if nobody minds?
I know a lot of only children. My best friend and my dad are onlies. My dad was brought up to think the sun shone out of his backside and it very selfish. My best friend was maybe a little spoiled but is a fun, hard working, inspirational woman who lives a really full life and has friends all over the country. Thinking about it, all the other only children I know are lovely, without exception.

My partner is one of 4 and is narcassistic and thinks the world revolves around him. MIL is one of 8 and could fall out with herself in an empty room!
I'm the oldest of two. My brother and I are close now, and were as children, but there was a good 11, 12 years in the middle where we hardly spoke or saw each other.

DD will be an only. I'm getting huge pressure from partner to have more children, but I'm not going to succumb to itas I had big mental health difficulties and it's only in the last 6 months I have felt myself again. My relationship is not good and I don't want to bring another child into it, I don't think that would help anything. DD has told me she doesn't want a sibling and she makes friends very easily. She also has a cousin who I think is likely to be an only too and I hope they are friends when they are older. Many women I met when DD was a baby said they were not going to have any more. Sometimes due to age or the fact that they felt one was enough.

My friends and colleagues have commented on DD being an only, but I'm always honest and say I found it hard. People should not be shamed or guilt tripped into having more than 1 child because society 'says so'.