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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
Ninkaninus · 11/10/2019 13:38

Tell her straight out that she’s no longer welcome to order on your card. Seriously, she needs to be told straight out that she’s a CF of the highest order and her attitude has ruined it for her and no one else. Everyone else can continue to get their lunch with your discount, but not her.

Stumpedasatree · 11/10/2019 13:39

This is one of the bizarrest arrangements I think I've read. She owes you money. She is effectively stealing from you. It doesnt seem like she has any intention of paying for her lunches. If you are unhappy with this stop buying her lunches, and everyone else for that matter as it seems like such a palava. She is being cheeky but you are being very wet I'm afraid.

RB68 · 11/10/2019 13:40

in my book the bully is the one taking the money to pay for their lunch not the one who is having money taken off them. Its theft.

Ninkaninus · 11/10/2019 13:40

I wouldn’t order for her ever again.

PrestonNotHeston · 11/10/2019 13:40

Don't let the 'paying at the end of the month like normal' comment go - she's trying to turn her late paying/you chasing her for it into some kind of ^agreed arrangement' between the two of you.

MummyofTw0 · 11/10/2019 13:41

Just do your own lunch from now on

ElizaDee · 11/10/2019 13:41

I'd have taken a bite out of her food before she got to it.

One for each payment she owes you, actually.

getoutofthatgarden202 · 11/10/2019 13:41

OMG she is the worst i'd be so angry!

I can't believe in 2019 they all are handing over Cash.. so bloody easy to do a bank transfer or use Monzo or something!!

Deffo agree with what others have said and ask for upfront bank transfer morning of and they have a deadline of 11am to transfer!

Then you can go ahead and order for the people who've paid!!

I used to make a spreadsheet when I did something similar in another job - and everyone can put in their order on that and you can add in if they've paid or not!! Then you can keep the card in your possession and place the order yourself!

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 11/10/2019 13:42

Jesus OP they sound like a bunch of teenagers I'm not surprised you're so cross. She's taken advantage of your kindness. As another poster said the day your cc bill is paid is irrelevant as a) you're doing everyone a favour and b) if they went to a shop and bough their lunch they would still pay that day so what the feck is the difference?!!'

As for "we're going to starve!" and tears in the toilet?! They need to grow the fuck up.

As of next week only those who pay you on the day get to benefit from your discount.

MulticolourMophead · 11/10/2019 13:42

I dont think she has the cash. I'm not great at transferring cash but if I owed someone money to the point where they had to say something to me I would be absolutely mortified and be doing what I could to get you the money (ie skipping lunch to get to cash machine). I think shes short this month and thought she had got away with it until today.

I might have agreed with this, but she still went ahead and ordered today, despite her shenanigans.

I think she's just a CF trying to get away with not paying at all.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 11/10/2019 13:43

This sort of thing really annoys me so my response is probably ott but if she still hasn’t paid next week, I’d ask her again and tell her it’ll end up costing her a fortune if you have to go through the small claims court.

Small claims went through my mind, too Four

I think it costs about fifty quid, but if OP wins sh could claim that back, and any other expenses accrued.

FriedasCarLoad · 11/10/2019 13:43

(there's no delay in Aus for it showing up and when/how much you can pay back ( unlike the shit system in the UK )

I can pay back mine at any point, and I’m in the UK.

WhatTiggersDoBest · 11/10/2019 13:43

I hope you're charging B interest at the full Credit Card APR rate for all the outstanding money.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 11/10/2019 13:44

And if anyone else gives you a hard time on her behalf just take the discount away.

Actionhasmagic · 11/10/2019 13:44

She’s ruining it for everyone and the toilet drama is just because she can’t handle her own bad behaviour

IncrediblySadToo · 11/10/2019 13:46

After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off.

When YOU pay YOUR card is NONE of her business. Why shouldn’t she pay for food she has ordered and eaten when she ordered and eaten it?

Carry on as you were with the others (they haven’t done anything wrong) and tell B SHE has to pay when she orders End of. It is not a request. She either OST’s when she orders it she doesn’t order you’re not a financial lending institution FFS.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 11/10/2019 13:46

Do exactly what @MrsScrubbingbrush has suggested.

Or just say "Due to previous issues where I wasn't being paid for placing the order with X food outlet, today is the last time that I will be placing an order with them. No more food orders will be placed by me from them. If you want to order food from them, you'll have to place the orders yourselves and reminder - it'll be full price!"
Send something like that today. Remind them again on Wednesday. Final reminder on Friday morning.

Stop offering. Stop Ordering. They are adults and they wouldn't have starved but yer wan would have continued to take liberties and continued to be a CF.

missbattenburg · 11/10/2019 13:48

Anyone else making a note to check this thread next Friday and see what happened at the next lunch? Grin

Derbee · 11/10/2019 13:48

I’d send an email along the lines of

Hi everyone, I’m disappointed it seems to have come to this, but just want to make clear, Friday Lunch Club will need to stop, as I won’t be using the card again until I have been paid all outstanding monies in full. B has had multiple chances to pay, and I am currently £35 out of pocket, and counting. It’s simply not fair.

I realise it’s a shame for us all to miss out due to one persons actions, but I only see 2 options. 1) B clears her balance or 2) everyone who wants Friday Lunch Club to continue pays into a kitty to clear the balance, and share the subbing of B’s orders from now on (!).

If all balances owed are paid, we can happily carry on, with any future orders being paid for in advance. I wish I hasn’t had to send this email, but I hope it can all be resolved and we can get back to normal.

healthylifestylee · 11/10/2019 13:49

I order at times for the office - the office only seats 6 and rarely is there a huge order
However people will do a bank transfer or give me the cash. They are usually good enough to say no if they can't afford.
I can understand the frustration though as at times I feel stressed to order it and then I get a £10 note and asked if I have change which I never do 😂
Fortunately I trust them all and would never expect them to not pay me back
If I didn't get paid I would just stop offering. Just bring your own lunch In on a Friday and if you're not ordering it's pretty cheeky for any one to ask you to order theirs. Give notice as well and they will know to bring theirs too
If they don't and their hungry it's not your fault (it's not anyway but you won't feel guilty)

PickedByYou · 11/10/2019 13:49

What a weird lunch time set up. Sounds a right PITA

Nofunkingworriesmate · 11/10/2019 13:50

Off topic...Why are you going to the bank to deposit the cash? That’s bizarre just spend the cash from lunch in situations where you would normally spend cash what a hassle!

Laserbird16 · 11/10/2019 13:50

I'd just go with Irisloulou's suggestion, don't do it anymore.

It's just all a bit much for a bit of a discount. You are being accused of bullying, you're out of pocket and there is now an uncomfortable atmosphere in the team.

I'd speak to your manager - not about the return of the money as it seems B has no intention of repaying you - but about the crying and bullying comment in case that escalates, at least you've flagged the problem. Then just tell your colleagues you've been advised to stop this payment arrangement and then you aren't the bad guy as it appears out of your hands.

Sorry it's all backfired.

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours · 11/10/2019 13:50

HOW did she get hold of her lunch, I'd have been waiting there to pounce on the delivery as soon as they entered the car park and NO WAY IN HELL would B have got her oinky little trotters on her lunch until she had forked over what she owed.

Honestly OP you are being walked all over by B and doing nothing to stop her.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 11/10/2019 13:51

Oh and in relation to this part of your post @Amelia2000 -

Food has arrived. I have said that as from next Friday I will need the money upfront from everyone before I order it as I can't be out of pocket anymore. Everyone agreed apart from B. Not looking at me, and tucking into her lunch, she's said "I will pay you at the end of the month like normal".
you would have needed to get an army to stop me going over to her desk, removing the food from her, and saying "Grand so. You can have your food at the end of the month then too".

You're not bullying her into paying for something that she has already received. She is taking the piss. Royally!

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