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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
DarlingNikita · 11/10/2019 13:51

I wouldn't stop the club and lose out on nice time with decent people. I'd just get lunch with those who have already agreed to pay up front, and exclude the fuck out of B

No, the group needs to be aware that it's B who's stopping the arrangement, not the OP. I agree with the email
'No one will be using the card again until I have been paid all outstanding monies in full.' The group can then decide whether to pander to B or tell her to pay the fuck up.

It's not actually any of their faults though, everyone else pays on the day so I did feel bad stopping them all from using it without any notice. That's why you make clear that it's B, not you, who is 'stopping' it.

We only get half hour for lunch and our office isn't near any shops etc/some of them don't drive and instead get picked up/dropped off by their OH etc
Not your problem to solve for everyone. What would they do if you went under a bus? What do they do, come to think of it, when you're on holiday?

Juells · 11/10/2019 13:52

She’s ruining it for everyone and the toilet drama is just because she can’t handle her own bad behaviour

I've known someone like this, and the toilet drama would be a deliberate ploy to make things so unpleasant for everyone there that they'll all back off and not call her out for her bad behaviour. She doesn't feel a bit bad about how she's acted, she's probably accusing the OP of being a bitch to anyone who'll listen.

Ninkaninus · 11/10/2019 13:52

Also stop with the faffing about with cash. That’s just ridiculous. Anyone who wants to order needs to be willing to pay by bank transfer on or before the day of ordering. Simple.

Boysey45 · 11/10/2019 13:53

The whole thing sounds a massive PITA, I would just stop doing it for everyone and they all can make alternative arrangements.
With B I would say I want paying again and if she doesn't then I will go to the manager. Its not a work issue but shes robbed you so why shouldn't they know? Theres always one or more people like this at work.
I was once stung on a sandwich run and after that I got all the money upfront.

diddl · 11/10/2019 13:53

I'm not sure about how bothered I'd be about the others either tbh.

PA comments about having no lunch, saying that B is spoiling it for all of them?

Well no, she could be excluded, they could have said it doesn't seem worth the effort for Op & it might be best not done anymore, but they seem more bothered about discount!

BatshitBertha · 11/10/2019 13:54

This is so ridiculous, I cannot understand why you've bought her lunch again?

If she has not paid you by next Thursday then I would announce on Thursday afternoon that everyone needs to bring lunch in tomorrow (Friday) because B has still not paid her debt and you won't be getting everyone lunch.

AMALDO · 11/10/2019 13:54

What makes B think she should be privvy to your credit agreement with your credit card? She's cheeky fond. Tell her to do 1!

SeigneurLapindeGrantham · 11/10/2019 13:54

I don't know how you kept your cool about her telling you she'd pay you at the end of the month "like normal". Not bloody normal for her is it? She's a blatant thief and I'd be making waves about the bullying accusation too.

SomewhereInbetween1 · 11/10/2019 13:55

Wow, biggest CF I've seen on this board for a while!

missbattenburg · 11/10/2019 13:55

Off topic...Why are you going to the bank to deposit the cash? That’s bizarre just spend the cash from lunch in situations where you would normally spend cash what a hassle!

This is only a hassle if you:

a) spend a fair amount of cash each week
b) have the kind of spare cash float that allows you to pay off your credit card without needing to pay in the money

I wouldn't spend £30/40 in cash each week so, for me, it would just build up and up...

ThatCurlyGirl · 11/10/2019 13:55

She said she'll pay you at the end of the month "like normal" fuck me the actual brass neck of her!

IwantedtobeEmmaPeel · 11/10/2019 13:55

I would send Derbee's email and stick to it Op. B is no better than a common thief and I would certainly be threatening to let management know as some employers would take a very dim view of fiscal dishonesty.

Juells · 11/10/2019 13:56

Is the food delivered to the office? I don't understand why anyone would go hungry, can they not just order and pay full price for once?

Redred2429 · 11/10/2019 13:57

I would just not let her order again unless she gives you the money before order that is not bullying op I would also give your manager a heads up

Jeezoh · 11/10/2019 13:57

I’d go with an email saying you’re not going to be running lunch club any more until you’re paid back in full for what you’re owed. What started as you trying to do a favour for colleagues has turned into a drama and it’s taking up too much headspace for what was meant to be a nice thing you were doing for others.

I’d also say anyone who wants to participate in future has to pay by bank transfer, which has cleared into your account before you will order anything. From now on, you’re going to pay off the lunch on the card the same day as it’s too much faff handling cash and chasing people who haven’t paid. You’re not a back and won’t be lending money any more, to anyone.

ThatCurlyGirl · 11/10/2019 13:57

@WhatchaMaCalllit

you would have needed to get an army to stop me going over to her desk, removing the food from her, and saying "Grand so. You can have your food at the end of the month then too".

Ooh that's perfect - firm, fair and calm.

Cocolapew · 11/10/2019 13:57

Why does she think the money you get is still their money until the end of the month Confused?
I would have licked her lunch.

Jeezoh · 11/10/2019 13:57

Bank, not back!

BatshitBertha · 11/10/2019 13:58

This is so ridiculous, I cannot understand why you've bought her lunch again?

If she has not paid you by next Thursday then I would announce on Thursday afternoon that everyone needs to bring lunch in tomorrow (Friday) because B has still not paid her debt and you won't be getting everyone lunch.

  1. Stop taking cash - bank transfer on the day or you don't order (no exceptions)
  2. Don't use work email or involve your manager this is very unprofessional
BatshitBertha · 11/10/2019 14:01

and tucking into her lunch, she's said "I will pay you at the end of the month like normal"

But she didn't pay you at the end of last month?

This money has come out of your account and she has not reimbursed you

OliveOwl · 11/10/2019 14:02

Go to line manager now in case she escalates bullying accusations.

Forget about ever seeing the money she owes you already, sadly.

Stop ordering her lunch. Keep ordering other people’s- but make sure the order goes through you so the CF doesn’t slip her order in. Make sure others in team know why you’re not accepting her order (sounds like they already do).

dottiedodah · 11/10/2019 14:02

I think you should just say to her ."Shall we forget about it .pay me when you can " then write it off as she obviously cant/wont pay and you will have a bad atmosphere at work!.In future everyone brings in their own lunch or alternates each week using their CC to order Lunch!

BigSandyBalls2015 · 11/10/2019 14:03

*@WhatchaMaCalllit

you would have needed to get an army to stop me going over to her desk, removing the food from her, and saying "Grand so. You can have your food at the end of the month then too".*

Love this, are you Irish? I do love a 'Grand' in a sentence [grin[

Windydaysuponus · 11/10/2019 14:03

Find an A 4 piece of card and write on it..
Cheeky Fucker Of The Week

And write her name underneath.
Place on her desk.

ForeverFaff · 11/10/2019 14:04

But now you have ended her 'free ride', she has no actual motive to pay you at all!
I'd make lunch club a pre-payment membership thing. And, this particular woman doesn't get an invite!

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