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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
AlexaAmbidextra · 11/10/2019 13:22

As far as Not looking at me, and tucking into her lunch, she's said "I will pay you at the end of the month like normal"

And at that point I’ve have fucking lost it and snatched the food out of her hands. 😱

Juells · 11/10/2019 13:24

No good deed goes unpunished.

and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off.

...but not before the food was eaten! She seems to think it's normal to be able to eat for weeks for free.

Anything kind and accommodating that someone does on a regular basis gets taken for granted, until people lose sight of the fact that someone is doing them a favour.

diddl · 11/10/2019 13:24

"who cares if the others miss out due to one cf, they can take it up with her if bothered..."

Or apply for their own card to get the discount!

UrsulaPandress · 11/10/2019 13:24

What is this food???

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 11/10/2019 13:24

Id sack off the whole thing tbh- even with Cash upfront! As for B- cheeky cow...hound her for that money, and tbh id go as far as to threaten with small claims (i know its £35 but id so wanna teach the greedy mare a lesson!)

Pinkyyy · 11/10/2019 13:25

I do think it's worth pointing out that they manage to feed themselves just fine on every other day of the week.

Juells · 11/10/2019 13:25

she's said "I will pay you at the end of the month like normal"

Except it isn't like normal, as she doesn't pay at the end of the month.

MrsScrubbingbrush · 11/10/2019 13:25

“‘No one will be using the card again until I have been paid all outstanding monies in full. And thereafter any future orders require cash or bank transfer in advance of order being placed.”

I would send this email to everybody and if you haven't been paid by next Wednesday would follow it up with something along the lines of

"As the outstanding monies have not been paid I will not be ordering food on Friday so I suggest you all bring in your own lunches"

This way you won't get any complaints that hey are 'starving' and somehow it's your fault!

Lhastingsmua · 11/10/2019 13:25

I just didn't like her previous insinuation that I was spending their money before I actually had to pay it out.

Sorry but that’s actually none of her business. The moment you make the transaction you are in debt to your credit card provider, you can therefore pay off your debt before the payment due date if that’s your prerogative. You shouldn’t be forced to wait until the due date, especially if she’s flaky with payment and means you’re out of pocket.

She needs to pay the £35 now. I know this is really not inclusive, but I wouldn’t allow her to order any more food unless she pays upfront. Or she can just order it herself and pay full price. Or you know, just bring her own lunch in.

KatherineJaneway · 11/10/2019 13:25

Bursting into tears, running to the loos along with the accusation of bullying is simply a tactic to try and get you to back off so she can carry on being a CF.

Good on E.

PentreBachCymraeg · 11/10/2019 13:26

Wow..and she sat there and tucked into her food again today?Cheeky cow!

Stop enabling this behaviour.

Sceptre86 · 11/10/2019 13:26

Tell her she is being a cheeky fucker and can sort her own lunch out from now on. If she moans about bullying she can take it up with other channels in the office. Pay for your own lunch and mo one else or better just being it from home.

Fiveletters · 11/10/2019 13:27

What’s the food op? I’m starving!
Stick to your guns with her. Don’t order anything else for her again.

honeylulu · 11/10/2019 13:27

Bollocks to "being bullied". This one has the hide of a rhino!!

constantlyseekinghappiness · 11/10/2019 13:27

I am also furious on OPs behalf.

She’s out of pocket AND being called a bully.

Fuck that.

BrokenLogs · 11/10/2019 13:29

What's this 'pay you at the end of the month when the card is due' crap Confused

I pay my credit card as I use it (there's no delay in Aus for it showing up and when/how much you can pay back ( unlike the shit system in the UK ) and would just say how do you know when I pay it?

But I 100% wouldn't have got over £10 being owed to me.

She's a CF of the highest order!

gem584848838 · 11/10/2019 13:29

What an absoulte bitch!!! Stupid cow, I wouldn't let her order anything until she's paid you all the money back..be strong and firm that everyone needs to give you the money before you order. And keep us updated as to what happens next week!!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 11/10/2019 13:30

I just didn't like her previous insinuation that I was spending their money before I actually had to pay it out.

She's snide as well as a CF.

Continue to remind her every day. if there are any more tears etc, and people say they won't have lunch, ask them of they will pay into a kitty to sub her until she "remembers" to bring her money in.

I'll bet they won't, but it might make them think about what a CF she is.

And I'll also bet she won't pay you now to "punish" you for showing her up. I'd be tempted to put a big notice up saying how much she owes - though that would probably get you into trouble.

StormTreader · 11/10/2019 13:33

"and tucking into her lunch, she's said "I will pay you at the end of the month like normal"."

You bloody won't, I'm not your mum.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 11/10/2019 13:36

Next week, just say "you're not using my card because B is a thieving cunt who fucking owes me 30 fucking quid and until she stops fucking sponging off me, I'm not offering my card to any of you. And if the blood sucking poncing leech does finally pay up, in future it's money on the day in advance of the order, so no money, no fucking free food off me, you parasites"

I don't think I'd be as diplomatic as this.

The cheek of her to retaliate by refusing to pay you on the day and TELLING you she'll pay at the end of the month

And I'd point out that she's already more than a month in arrears.

The cowbag.

MintyMabel · 11/10/2019 13:36

We only get half hour for lunch and our office isn't near any shops etc/some of them don't drive and instead get picked up/dropped off by their OH etc.

Why is any of that your problem? What if you are off sick one day? Would they all sit and waste away? I presume they are adults and capable of finding their own food.

But all CF-shocker tales require an alphabetised cast! wink

So it would seem. How on earth do we manage to follow all the other posts which don’t do this 🤷‍♀️

Whoops75 · 11/10/2019 13:36

You collect the food and give it to those who paid.
If B has no cash do an online bank transfer there and then. If she refuses keep her food or she can ask someone else to pay for her.

Next week tell everyone it’s money in advance of order.

InvisibleWomenMustBeRead · 11/10/2019 13:37

That's shocking Op. I'm raging on your behalf. I'd send @MrsScrubbingbrush's email to everyone and stick to your guns.

iwantavuvezela · 11/10/2019 13:37

Make sure next Thursday you send out an email to remind everyone that unless it is all paid up you are NOT ordering and to bring in their own lunch so that everyone has something to eat, or to bring in a debit card o make the order (without the discount) - I think you need to make a point for a week or two and that should get everyone's minds sharpened around this - your colleague owing you over £30 is too much for this type of situation. You could also say that no payment no food and that you don't want to get into this type of situation - so if you don't have money bring in lunch

SchadenfreudePersonified · 11/10/2019 13:38

Not looking at me, and tucking into her lunch, she's said "I will pay you at the end of the month like normal".

How did you stop yourself from snatching it out of her hands and throwing it at her head?

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